Wednesday's giggle

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. >She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. >He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town an kick up your heels." >The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. >One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock, and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting >for him. >She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. >"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. >"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. >"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was,told and dropped it to the floor. >"Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off. >Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why?" Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend only $150.00?" The man said, "A man died here 2000 years ago, he was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."