Man...you guys suck!

I'm gone one day and not ONE of you hogged the board. What the heck? LOL No, yesterday was a rough one. I had my filter in and everything was fine until my daughter came in. The look on her face was just horrible when she saw mommy hooked up to the IV and in the gown and booties. I NEVER EVER EVER NEVER!!!! want to see that look again. She was absolutely terrified. I could have walked out right then and there. The procedure went well. My ability to kinda detach myself from the situation made it easier for me. The whole thing with DD has created a big problem for actual surgery day. She can NOT be there with me. I can't handle it. I don't want to scare her even more. I mean, she was upset at the IV. What is she gonna do when I have all the other things coming out of me? UGH! She won't stay with anyone else but she is going to have to stay with Grandma that day. I won't be able to handle it. This is the worst I swear. I'm so emotional right now. I don't know how you guys with little kids did this. My worry of upsetting and scaring her will be what makes me change my mind. Other than that whole thing, I'm sore today. If I stand or sit I hurt but if I'm laying down it isn't too bad. It sucks because I've been trying really hard to get my place in order so I don't have to come home to an absolute disaster. I need Merry Maids!

How old is she? I can totally understand that look in their eyes..I almost passed out at Target the other day (can you tell it's our favorite store?). I have low blood pressure/sugar and this happens quite a bit but my kids have never really seen me get that bad...my mother was with us and in the middle of the aisle, I had to sit, so I sat on the bottom shelf thingy and KNEW that I was gonna faint..I told me mom to go call my husband and tell him to meet us at the ER and told my mom to take my kids with...she walked away and I KNEW it was coming, so I lower myself down to the floor and at that moment BOTH my kids came around the corner with a bottle of Pepsi (pop usually helps) and they FREAKED OUT!! They grabbed a hold of each other and wouldn't move, back to my mom or come to me either, they were so scared so I lifted myself up and sat on the shelf again and drank my pop...An ambulance came but I refused treatment and made my mom drive me to the ER instead just to calm them down. Poor things!! They are 7 and 9. The ER told me they have no idea why this happens to me and they have no clue as to how to fix it either...I've had it for YRS now, but it's not considered a co-morbisity either!

She's three so just imagine. How scary for your kids?! I tried talking today to her about it to make her feel more comfortable. She's a talker and likes explanations. She just said, "Mommy, I'm scared." I told her it's ok and explained the doctor's job. She rolled away from me on the bed and was trying not to cry. I said, "I want to talk to you to make you feel better." She said, "I can't mommy, it's too scary." So I'm just gonna leave it at that for now. It just breaks my heart. UGH! Melissa

I have to say it is not just children. My hubby's face when I woke up in the recovery room ahd me thinking "ohmigod I must be dying, just look at his face" and he was forcing himself to look me in the eyes. he knew more than a child would everything I had done this for, but the panic was so evident. I love him for staying next to me as long as he did, only leaving to tinkle, sleep or eat. I forced myself NOT to tough it out and "be strong" because I just didn't have the energy to even try and do that, but in the past I totally would havefaked being better than I was to make people worry less. Now my little niece was another story. She was 11 3/4 when I had my surgery and she and I are very close. In factas I lost more and more weight the rest of the family started telling us how much we look alike. well, duh I always knew that, but no one else ever could see it because of all the fat in my face. anyway she had called me the week before my surgery and just was crying and broke my heart and she sounded like she was trying to be so brave. I found out later from my bro she had told him to tell me not to have it and he explained to her why he couldn't do that. she was jsut so afraid of losing me. kids can't see all the parts of the equation, they can't envision what a year from now really means, the freedom and longer life with more joy. they jsut don't want their mommy or daddy (or favorite auntie) to maybe go away. When Paris first saw me around 3 months post-op I'd alread lost 70 or 80 lbs maybe more and she just started bawling and couldn't talk. she shook like a leaf and she just let out all her fear and joy and relief all in one spot in a restaurant. She knows why I was doing this and there's no doubt she wanted me to be better, but kids just lack the ability to understand the diffference between short term risk for long term life and joy, and long term risk for short term life and joy. The best thing you can do is to remind her how sometimes doctors have to give shots to make you better, it isn't fun and it hurts, but you have to get better. you are going to get all better and it will not be fun, but you WILL be getting better. then you need to put her fear out of your mind as much as possible to give yourself all your energy during the surgery!!!!! let your family do what families do and take care of each other and take care of you. This May Paris came to visit and I actually got to climb a tree with her. for someone who could barely walk a block before surgery to climb a tree like I did when younger was heaven, and Paris just LOVED the new active happy auntie Minx. whatever fear your child has will fade away as the new you shows her how much more life can be enjoyed when you aren't buried in pain and obesity. Colleen