Help desperately needed

I had open RNY on March 4th. It's been over three months. The first two months I lost 60 pounds. But now it has stopped, because I'm hungry all the time lately. I can even eat cookies and ice cream now, although not as much as before, since I'll dump. But I'm hungry I mean ALL the time. I also have insulin dependent diabetes and my blood sugars are always unpredictable and crazy. Sometimes it's 45 and I have to go eat somehting and sometimes it's 450 because I ate cereal or something else sweet and forgot to take an extra shot. I also have hypothyroidism, and I am tired all the time. My doctor has humored my requests to keep rechecking my TSH but it remains normal with the Levoxyl dosage I am on. I am also depressed because I am a single mom with only my 89-year-old grandmother for help - I work at home and she watches my daughter (who will be 3 in October) while I work. I have no other family, no friends because of my cir****tances and weight problem, the neighbors are unable to help, and I don't go to church, though I am a saved Christian. It's all I can do to stop from eating nothing but pizza and everything else I used to eat all the time. Granted, I can't eat as much at one time, but with having lost absolutely nothing the last month, I know it has killed my progress. I am depressed and embarrased and feel like such a failure. I dread seeing my surgeon at 6 months becuase he will ask why I only lost 60 pounds and then stop - and that's if I don't start gaining again! I have no energy and have considered taking ephedrine or something else with caffeine in it but I know it makes my heart race and could be dangerous. I can even drink soda now and yes I have been drinking Mountain Dew and Coke for the caffeine and of course the sweetness. I mean I have anything I want now, I have ruined my surgery. I think I must be really mentally ill to have such severe hunger and to keep eating myself to death even after jumping through the hoops to have my surgery. It was so successful at first, and then my damn hunger came back. I have some size XL outfits that I stupidly bought, thinking I would eventually be able to fit in them. I don't know what to do, I am so depressed. If I don't lose at least another 100 pounds (I'm at 288 now, preop was 346, I need to get down to at least 175), I will never have the health that I envisioned myself to have, and that I need in order to be around for my daughter since her father is a deadbeat and uninvolved. I need some prayers and some advice. How can I stop eating, eating, eating? How can I take advantage of my surgery again? Or can I? Am I doomed? Did I completely waste everyone's time? I can't believe I took such a major, life-altering step and have failed at it. I am hopeless!

Jenny, Slow down Youre a new post op. Your weight loss will plateau and it will seem like forEVER til you lose another ounce!! thats NORMAL. So is the head hunger. Unfortunately for us, this surgery only rearranges our insides, not our brains But, YOU CAN FIGHT THE HEAD HUNGER, AND YOU CAN BEAT IT. Do not give up. If youre feeling like youre never completely full, maybe you need to have a scope and make sure you dont have a staple line disruption. But not ever feeling full is different than being hungry all the time. That is your head playing mind games with you. But I'm telling you, you can beat that. Quit drinking MTDew and Coke. If you have to, drink diet. However, water will give you the full feeling better than pop. You are not a failure. None of us is perfect in our post op lives...anyone who says he/she is is a liar The great thing is, tomorrow is a new day, and you can start all over again. You are not hopeless, either. This is going to sound harsh, and I'm sorry for that. But quit whining, quit feeling sorry for yourself and pick yourself up, dust yourself off and commit yourself to making this a success. I cant make you successful, neither can your surgeon. You have the tool, but its up to YOU to use it to its full capacity. As far as not having anyone else to depend on, it sounds like you knew pre op that you were going to have to depend on yourself, solely. You MUST be a very strong person, youve come this far! I wish you only the best, and please keep us posted!!! Now get a good night's sleep, and make things happen tomorrow.

I have been strong in the past, I just feel so weary now. But yes I did know that I would have to depend on myself and God. Thank you for your encouragement. I'm so glad ObesityHelp is in existence, otherwise where would I turn to for help from people who know what I'm going through? I'm going to have to take baby steps. I'm going to switch to all diet soda because I don't feel like I can give it up totally right now. I do need the caffeine, otherwise I am a zombie all day. There are other forms of caffeine, such as pill form, but for instance FasTrim is so expensive. I lost 10 pounds on it before and I know it gives me pep, though. I will also call the surgical group; they are so busy I hate to bother them, and the secretary who usually answers the phone is brusque with me all the time. But I will call them. Thank you, Kathy.

Jenny, I'm always here if you need to vent/gab/cry on a shoulder Remember that. I have struggled, too with food demons, and still do almost every day. If the secretary who answers the phone at the surgical group is rude you have 3 choices..2 of which are viable, in my opinion 1) ask her why she's so brusque with you 2)tell the surgeon that you get attitude from her every time you call and it makes you hesitant about calling when you have a concern 3) take the crap from her (guess which one isnt viable!!??) You're a beautiful, vibrant, smart person. You do not take crap from anyone. I dont care if your 700lbs or 100lbs. No one deserves to be treated poorly. Value yourself. And let her know you do. This is the first step Forget the old treat people like you want to be treated...remember instead, people treat you like you let them treat you! You will get through this, and you will be stronger for it. If you find a church that doesnt welcome you because you have a baby and aren't married..find another church Love, Kathy ps..remember...NO CRAP!!!

Once again, awesome advice. When I tell the surgeon how I feel about calling, I'm sure he will be concerned and encourage me by telling me how important it is to call no matter what. He is an excellent surgeon, I really am in good hands. Anyway thank you for the compliments, they really made my day. I've read your profile and I can't believe how far you've come, I'm so jealous. Thank you. I needed all of these responses from all of these people. I've printed out the page, even, to keep in what I call my "RYGB book." I'm already coming out of the deep funk, and I have hope and plans to better myself for the first time in over a month. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Hi Jenny, First of all you must find you a church. For you and your child and your grandmother. God will give you a family from their. Remember we are your family too. I have not had the wls yet. But don't panic. I have read other post and it seems to be normal to plateau. I will keep you in my prayers, Lorna

I'll try. I used to have a home church but they abandoned and ostracized me when I got pregnant out of wedlock. I don't have any particular preferences, just a church that teaches out of the Bible. I'm just a nondenominational Christian, saved and spirit-filled. His Spirit is the only thing that has keep me afloat, I think. But I really need the fellowship and support of church members. Pray that I will be led to the right one. There are probably about 500 churches here in Peoria and the tricounty area. I don't know which one(s) will welcome me without looking down on me for being fat or for being a single mother or for whatever else is not PC about me.

I'm going to try not to get to high up on my soap box here as to not offend anyone. If anyone in any church can not accept you, your child, your weight problem and the fact you had your chid out of wedlock then they are NOT a christian organization and you should be glad that you are not accepted by a bunch of a bible thumping hypocrits.... I dont know about anyone elses God but my is loving and forgiving... And Iwould never ostricize anyone in fear of my God getting upset with me for throwing stones at glass houses. Now no more boohooing get up brush yourself off and call the surgeon he needs to scope you.... second start keeping a food diary of every single thing you put in your mouth and what time you put it in there. This helps when you feel hungry you go back and say oh I ate blank an hour ago so this is HEAD HUNGER and I'll drink a big glass of water to beat it. BE PROACTIVE!!!!!!!!!! don't sit around boohooing you can do it just DO IT!.... I wish you luck and remember we're all here for you!!! Debby

You are EXACTLY right, and that's why I left that church, because they weren't thinking about "What Would Jesus Do." Even the pastor avoided me - and he's supposed to be the shepherd leading the sheep! Anyway that is my main requirement in a church, that the people there are full of love and acceptance . My goodness, I can't hurt anyone with my appearance or my past, I'd think it would be easy to accept a newcomer. Humans will be humans, though. But thank you, I agree with everything you said. And being proactive is another good idea. You guys are all so wonderful! Thank you!!

Honey - I'm so sorry. You have NOT failed. You have identified your triggers and your problems. One - read the "Pouch Rules" for Dummies and start over. Your tool isn't gone - you just need to get back to it. You need to make an appt with a therapist - did you meet one before/after the surgery? Also, you probably need to have your pouch checked out to see if there are any physical problems. Don't be embarassed. You know the right track - and the 1st problem is over - you admitted you know there's something wrong.