Tuesday Roll Call

Hello everyone

It's nice to see the sun out.

I am at work and I am bored.  I still can't enter anything.  Yep.  I am two months behind now.  They are still trying to convert everything back into the old system and it's taking forever.  I am frustrated because I know its going to be a mess when the time comes to enter my work and I will be to blame if it's not perfect....just like last time.  At least this time I know the system.  Ugh. 

I have to make appointments for my regular doc and my yearly appointment for my band doc.  I want to get a good appointment so I figure I will make appointments way ahead of time.  I don't have to see them till June.  I hate that you have to make appointments in the middle of the day (when you are at work).  All of the late afternoon hours get taken right away.  Last year I just took a 1/2 day off to see my band doc.

Anyway my plans are the same as today...except I just realized I didn't take anything out of the freezer...so I have no idea what I am having for dinner now???

Nancy- it's nice to hear from you.  I hope Rick feels better soon and gets home soon..it sounds like there are some kittys that miss him...LOL.

Well hve a great day all...see ya later.  Bye 

Hi,Another long day at work. But on the bright side, tomorrow is my Friday. 

We are doing a fast trip to St. Louis on Thursday. We will be back on Friday evening. Just need to take care of some business.

Nancy, I feel so bad that Rick isn't doing good. I hope he recovers and gets home shortly.

Crystal, you juyst do the best you can. And remember, you were looking for a job when you found that one.

BTW, how is Chris feeling?

I just got my great neice's blaket and outfit ready to mail to her. I know I won't be able to see her anytime soon.

Have a great evening,

Hugs,

Lisa-  Chris is not doing to well these days....physically or mentally.  He can't work and he can't do much of anything with out extreme fatigue.  This is wearing on him and I believe he is getting depressed.  Unfortunately, he is pushing me away.  I think a lot of people do this to their loved ones.  I just don't know how much more I am supposed to take before I should walk away.  How much is too much...you know.  We don't see much of each other anymore and as of lately....well we are barely talking.   

Good evening Crystal and the rest of Illinois!

I am home after a therapist appointment.  WOW!  She says she has a lot of respect for me for returning to therapy after the last appointment.  LOL!  We barely scratched the surface last time!  We are making progress on my history, then will start "trauma therapy".  I kind of feel stupid going through this, but I am going to trust all that say it is necessary to get the trauma put in it's proper place, once and for all.  Up until this point, I have been stuffing the feelings and trying to ignore them.  That all seems fine and dandy, but sometimes, they poke out....leaving me having tough feelings.  I can no longer eat them away or drink them away....so I guess it is time to put them away properly.

Besides that, things are progressing nicely in my life.  I have even put my toes in the water regarding gainful employment.  It would be nice if I did not need to work, but alas, I do.

Crystal......sorry to hear about Chris.  As I am trying to learn, we can only control ourselves and no one else.  Nothing you can do will change how Chris behaves.  It is how you react to his behavior that you CAN control.  It is up to you how far you want it to go.   Maybe send him encouraging messages to let him know you care about him and are willing to help.  If he shuts you out, you will know that you did all you could.

Nancy---give Rick my regards and I hope he is better soon and home with you and the kitties.

I hope you all are doing well and enjoying the nice weather that we waited for so (im)patiently.

Dawn-

Really last Thursday was a last ditch effort....that failed miserably.  The rest of the weekend I was very unavailable to him and Sunday we didn't celebrate Easter together.  I just can't stand being around him when he's like this.  He is so distant and the closeness we once shared is gone (when he does show some love it's seems forced or fake).  He is just keeps telling me he has more imprtant things to worry about right now and he is stressed out.  We haven't seen each other since Thursday and we have text a few times over the last several days.  But I haven't heard from him since last night. 

Quite frankly I have been taking this time to slowly remove myself from the relationship.  Kind of reminding myself of all the things I want in life and what I want in a re;ationship....and how Chris just seem to want or can't deliver.  Any time I think of a good memory of us...I tell myself...that's just not reality anymore!!!  What is reality...me sitting at home by myself...lonely.  Ignored calls and texts...broken promises...this is my new reality.  I have to stop living in the past and face the truth.  I don't know maybe he will get past this... when he feels better. 

Funny how I thought I found this great guy that would treat right.  And in the end he is treating exactly like my EX!!!!  I thought I was so smart this time. 

{{{{{{BIG HUGS!!!!!}}}}}}

As Lisa said....we are here for you.  Loss is always hard, but maybe better things are on the horizon!

Crystal, A lot of people who have medical problem, turn away from the person who loves them. This is their way of coping. You will have to decide if you can handle it, whatever you decide, we are here for you.