What's going on.

Yesterday only two replies as well as several other days yet there are 70-100+ readers! Now probably many of us check in. More than once a day but some of you reader/lurkers can post!

most of us are two years out if not much more, but we still answer questions on what to eat and why we picked the surgery we did.

so, person up, and let us know who and how you are!

Connie

Connie, I can see where we aren't getting  the responses we use to get. I cannot see why we aren't getting new people in here either. Nor why people aren't staying with us. It is to bad. This is one group that has kept giving me support. We all still need the support of others. We all know more about each other then we know about some of our friends.

I will come out hiding and tell you what is going on.  I have had a really bad week and today it got worse...if that was possible...but I found out it was....

Over the weekend Chris and I broke up.  It really left me broken hearted because unlike my last serious relationship by the time it ended there was no love left and it was a relief when it was over.  With this break up I am still very much in love with him so it as been a hard couple of days for me.  I know it's only been 6 months but it's still been hard.  I mean each day gets a little easier than the next.  But like always something will remind me of him and I'm right back to being sad again.  I have also been trying to keep myself very busy.  The busier I am the less I think about things.  So I am going out a lot...

Now what happened.  Your guess is as good as mine.  He stated that with his hours and now him starting this new job they will get worse. We don't get to see each other much and it will get even worse.  He said I deserve someone that can devote the time and energy to the relationship.  And he just isn't able to do that.  That was his reason...and there was no reasoning with him.  I wasn't going to beg.  I just said, we can't try to work things out, or wait and see what things are like with your new job...but no his mind seemed set.  He seemed upset about the whole thing and was even crying about it.  But that was that and it was the end. 

I keep thinking he might call to say he made a horrible mistake....but that hasn't been then case.  And I refuse to call him...he dumped me!!!  So I am left trying to pick up the pieces and and move on.  I also decided I am not going  sit around forever pining for him...feeling sorry for myself.  I am going to give myself a month (I figure that's enough time) and see how I feel and sign back up on match and try all over again. 

So enough about this subject.  I aired it out and now you know why I have been silent for a few days. 

NOW....the next bad news I got today.  remember I said last week there were other tests that were done and I have to wait till this week to get the results.  Well the results are in and they aren't horrible but I'm not in the clear.  So I was told I have a lesion on my cervix that needs to be monitored.  So I have to go in every 3 months to have it checked and have a pap to make sure I don't have HPV.  So Yeah!!!  On top of everything else I have this too.

So pardon my French when I say I have had a REALLY, REALLY ****ty week. ( I need a pina coloda and a huge piece of cheesecake!!!) 

So I was dumped and I have to be monitored for cancer!!!  My life just sucks.  And the funny thing is there was a time not to long ago I was soooo happy...and this will sound pesimistic of me but I should have known that wasn't going to last....

ALSO IF YOU NOTICED I HAVE NOT ANNOUNCED THIS ON FACEBOOK SO PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING!!!!

Crystal,

 and  .  I am so sorry that this past week has been so ****ty.  i wish I could say or do something to make it better.  That really sucks about Chris.  It sounds like he was getting cold feet about being in a relationship.  I dont think it had anything to do with you.  I think he was having feelings that he could not handle and did not know what to do.  I hate that when a guy goes all chicken when he starts really falling deeply for someone.  I do not know what they are so terrified of.  Somehow I think it is committmen that really gets to them.  

You will know when you are ready to move on.  Dont put a time frame on it.  Give yourself time to be angry and then to grieve.  

That is so scary about your test results!  But at least you have caught it in time, can monitor everything and be proactive instead of reactive! This way, any changes can be caught and treatment started.  You are a strong woman and nothing is going to get you down!  

Hang in there!  We are behind you woman!  We care and love you!  

BIG HUGS TO YOU my friend!  I am SO sorry about everything.  I agree with Connie that this is why we come here,  some things are just not meant for Facebook.

Sending you lots of love and healing energy.  You are right, it was a ****ty week, but it will get better!

Crystal, this is why I love OH because I can talk  about stuff I'd never put on FB! Sorry you're in pain, don't rush  your grief. Let it be just  what it is. I'll be thinking of you!

Connie