Wednesday Roll Call

Good morning Illinois!

Where IS everyone?  Oh well.....I will start.

My father-in-law is paying for the month of August.  It was easier than I thought.  He must realize how much damage I could do if I tried.

I was going to visit Janet today, but now, it looks like rain.  Maybe I will get to work deep cleaning another room.

What is up with everyone else?

Good Morning,

Dawn, the sun is shining here. Nice, bright and hot.

Kim, I hope your drain problems get taken care of, as well as any infections you got. BTW, what kind of job do you have?

Connie, you should be feeling better too,

Sharon, Something will work out for you and G. You are to nice of a couple to have these job problems.

Nancy, what are the furbabies up to this week?

Crystal, you need to come out and play with us. we miss you.

Chris, please come in and let us know that all is well.

I got about 4 inches wacked off my hair this morning.  It is curling like crazy.

I am finishing the house work today. I have 2 more rooms to go, then maybe outside to do a bit more clean up.

Hugs, stay hydrated and inside if you can,

 

Hello everyone

Sorry I have been MIA.  I have had some issues I had to deal with.

As you can guess Sunday was the day of the party I wasn't invited to and Chris's ex was.  I guess it bothered me a lot more than I thought and well it just boiled over.  The thought of him and her mingling at a party that I was excluded from was enough to make my blood boil.  I tried to go to the rodeo and forget my problems...and I did for awhile.  But the heat got to me and I ended getting sick at the end of the day...but that's another story.  There are some real reasons I never brought up here for me to believe his ex still has feeling for him.  One of which is why I wasn't invited.  I wasn't invited because SHE couldn't deal with it...even after 5 years of being divorced.  Chris made a reference to "Jerry Springer" like behavior on her part if I was there!!!  What!!!  Really!!!  So that is clue 1# she is still stuck on him.  So it just bugged me that she was there getting to mingle with him all day and not me.  And lets be honest I was jealous.  I know he would never cheat on me or is interested in her...but I was jealous.  All of my insecurities came flooding out and I was a total bi***h to him.  I was making snarky comments via text and picked a fight with him.  And in my greened eyed furor I ended saying things I didn't mean.  Yep that's me a hot temper with a big mouth.  I tried to back pedal but the damage was done.  Me and my big mouth.  I was heartbroken.  I tried to apologize and apologize but he wasn't hearing it.  Well finally yesterday things started looking up and we are talking again.  I am so stupid.   

I wasn't able to sleep or eat during that time.  I ate a few bites of apple and 1/2 of a turkey patty.  That's it since Sunday.  When I get upset my band just doesn't let me eat.  Same thing happened when I lost my job and when Amanda left.  I am slowly able to eat now.

Well that's my whole pathetic story.  I need to work on communicating better when I am upset.  Maybe even taking a step back when I'm angry.  Oh well its done and its in the past I can only make sure it doesn't happen again. 

Well back to work I go...see you guys later....bye 

Oh sweetie......

I know that you know that I know where you are coming from.  I am glad that you are talking again and just let him know how you are feeling BEFORE it gets out of hand.  Connie is a wise person and I would also listen to her advice.  I am still trying.

 

Todd is one of those people that bottle things up until they overflow.  NOT easy to deal with.  I always tell him. "how am I supposed to know what I did wrong" if he doesn't tell me?  So, always be honest about how you feel........

Sending love and hugs!

Good afternoon friends,

I went knitting this morning and came home and had to have a nap. Now we have to go to a visitation.

Crystal, I'm sorry you had such a rough time. Jealousy is such a tough emotion but I'm sure you know that it comes from you, not from someone else's behavior. It might be helpful to see a counselor and try to sort out some of the self esteem issues that trigger this. these were the kinds of issues I worked with all the time with my clients. Women aren't raised yet to have a great sense of self. You have some knowledge of this because it seems like you taught it to Amanda. Now it's time for you. If you want to talk to me more personally you can email me at [email protected].

Connie

Connie-  It's funny because I can come off as this tough person.  Especially, when I feel threatened by someone.  But the minute the threat is an ex-wife I completely fall apart.  I felt like I didn't measure up and she was better than me.  I even said to him...why even bother wasting your time with me when she obviously is waiting in the wings for you.  I said things like that and worse...and he didn't deserve that.  It was all me and my insecurities.    

I know my insecurities in that specific area come from my first relationship.  He cheated on me over and over again and made me feel completely worthless and unwanted and undesirable.  But even before that my parents were horrible to me...they treated me differently than my sister and brother.  I was treated worse...I got less love....I received less gifts...had to do more house work...received more punishment...got yelled at more...and this is not just in my mind.  One year for Christmas my brother got a camera, my sister got some barbie camper thing and barbies....and I got a frisbee, with the price tag still on it...$1.48.  I hung up it on my wall(I was trying to be sarcastic by doing that).  Not to mention I was kicked out of the house when I was 15 and told not to come back...I didn't.  This is the kind of behavior and environment I was raised with...so I can only imagine what kind of sense of self that leads to.  I'm sure that is why I battle with food addiction and haven't had one successful relationship.      

Happy Hump Day Everyone!

I have been sitting here stunned for the past two days.  I am trying to comprehend events that happened Monday evening.  My family internist was arrested by the Feds and the DEA on drug charges.  He is sitting in the county jail, facing federal charges.  His license has been suspended and I need to find a new doctor.  I have been with this doctor for over 20 years.  He is an excellent doctor who has literally saved my life 3 different times.  I am so shocked over this behavior I do not know what to think.  On top of having to find a new doctor, I have no patient records.  The feds have seized those as well and have stated that my rights are overridden by theirs and I have no rights to my patient records.  So I have 20 years of medical history down the tubes.  

I trusted this doctor, really liked him, and hew really knew me and how my body reacted and could recognize the strangest things and address those.  He was the one that diagnosed the blood clots on my lungs when everyone else thought I had bronchitis.  He just seems to have that insight as to what is wrong with me.  He knows I do not react normally.  Now I cannot get a single prescription filled, my coumidin monitored or any medical help until I find another doctor.  Even refills that I have prescribed cannot be filled as they have yanked his license.  This is the first time ever he was disciplined and it goes so much against his character that I am having a hard time believing the whole incident.  He has a thriving practice, is a wonderful humanitarian, wonderful giver to charities, church going family man.  I just cannot believe he would risk it all for drugs and the money from selling them.  It all just does not fit. 

On a different note, Kim I hope you have gotten the excess fluid drained and did not have to have a drain put back in.  I am so sorry you are having healing issues.  I hope this was just a fluke.

Connie, it sounds like you are doing better.  That is fantastic!

Crystal, I can understand the jealousy.  It can be hard to control.  I still have a twinge of it every once in a while.  I am a very insecure person and it is so hard for me not to comment at times.  

Dawn, I am glad you got some things straight with your father in law.

Sharon, I am so sorry that Carle Clinic did not offer G the job.  Their lack of an offer was their loss.  He is a wonderful choice and I am sure you will find a great match.   

Lisa Enjoy your last day of freedom. 

Everyone have a great day tomorrow. 

 

OMG!!!!!

I read where some doctors were being "diciplined" for too many prescriptions, but really??????  Who is making that dicision, the state, or the insurance companies?

So sorry for the hassle.  I hope it all turns out for the good.

BIG {{{{{HUGS}}}}!

Good evening!
I went this morning to have the fluid drained from my tummy. The doctor said itnisntnbad enough hot to have a drain inserted in me. I have an appointment tomorrow to discuss things and to have more drained. I will also find out if I can go to Dallas for my business trip. The thing that worries me about going, is if I puff up to bad, I have no where to get it drained except the ER.
For those of you that are wondering where I work, I work for a collector car auction company. Mecum Auction. We are live on TV and travel all around the United States. I don't really like cars, but it pays the bills. I'm sure things will start getting better, but I'm just the type that when I start to feel better, I go full force and I need to slow down!!! How's everyone dealing with the heat? I hear magic waters here in rockford is gonna reopen this weekend because the weather is so hot.
I hope everyone has a wonder night!!!
Thanks for the kind words and encouragement friends! I really appreciate it!

Hugs,
Kim

HI Kim, I'm so glad that it wasn't as bad as it sounded and that they can do some drainage without putting in a new drain. I would be concerned about flying, though, and what the pressure might do.

My drain is still draining heavily. If it doesn't come out soon I'm going to have to name it. LOL!

Connie