Death in the Family
Now I am compounded by the death of my stepdad, who passed away on Wednesday. My mom is just besides herself, of course. They had a long marriage and were very close. She took such good care of him. He died on Wednesday morning at Lutheran General Hospital. I had to rush over there. I couldn't believe that they called her on the phone to tell her that her husband passed away. Of course, she was hysterical.
She wanted an independent autopsy. I became somewhat of a gatekeeper trying to hold things together. We were at the hospital from 6:30 in the morning and left around 4:30 p.m. It took such a long time to make the arrangements and then wait for the other hospital to pick up the body.
I didn't get home that night until 10:15 p.m. and then back to my sister's house at 6:30 the next morning. My mom couldn't stay at her house so she stayed with my sister. Yesterday, my Mom asked me to go with her to the funeral home to make the arrangements. The first thing she wanted to do was to look at the caskets. OMG, it was so bad. My stepdad has 4 daughters and they came shortly. It was a very long session, over 3 hours. My mom wanted to have 2 days for a wake and then the funeral because she wanted to be with him for as long as she could. It's so sad.
So we have the wake tomorrow and Sunday and the funeral with a mass on Monday. My aunt is arriving from Austria this morning so that will be of comfort for my Mom.
My sister is so crippled with arthritis and has to go to the wake and funeral in a wheelchair.
I am trying to be strong for my Mom and it's so hard. She has never been alone without a husband her entire adult life. I am so worried about her.
My own weight loss struggles are nothing in comparison to this.
I know that I have to take it one day at a time. This grieving period is so physically and emotionally draining. This year it's going to be 10 years that my own dad passed away.
When a close one dies, you realize how precious and short life is.
The past 2 days we had a lot of sunshine - he loved to sit in the warm sun and loved to garden. This year's vegetables are going to be so special to my family - his last gift to us.
I guess my message in closing is to cherish each and everyday with your loved ones, because you don't know if there is going to be a tomorrow!
Hugs and Love.
Lucy
484.8/383.4/241/188/150
Pre-op/RNY day/pre DS day/current/goal- Realize Band 5/15/08; RNY 6/8/05, Removal Band and RNY to DS 8/25/10. RNY & Band surgeon was Dr. Guske.
I am glad to see that you are OK.
SO sorry to hear about your stepdad and my thoughts, prayers and [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] are with you and your family diring this awful time.
I hope writing has helped a little bit. I know that it helps me.
Tell someone that you love them!
Dawn
253/223/167/127
HW/SW/CW/GW
I am thinking of you as you are going through some difficult times with DH. Know that my prayers are with you as well.
I have been so touched with the caring of all of my friends on this board. It is just like an extended family which is so comforting.
Hugs,
Lucy
484.8/383.4/241/188/150
Pre-op/RNY day/pre DS day/current/goal- Realize Band 5/15/08; RNY 6/8/05, Removal Band and RNY to DS 8/25/10. RNY & Band surgeon was Dr. Guske.
Dear Friend,
I am so glad that you let us in on your troubles, I for one was beginning to wonder where you were and what was happening.
The death of a parent, either birth or step, is really a horrible thing. You know it will happen someday, and when it does you can't really believe it happens. You are thrushed into the generation that is now the older generation, and no more the little girl. Lucy, do the best you can do for your Mom, she will need you more then ever. One day at a time is the way to handle it. Just remember, you are loved.
Hugs, LISA
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this tough time. Your mom is so lucky to have you to help her through this and maybe in turn it will help you to help her.
We miss you here, and I hope that you can come back and talk to us soon and let us help you and support you in any way you need.
May God Bless you and your family.
EILEEN
