Did you lose more then the weight?

I have, My old friends that are all over weight In fact I have gotten two emails for one that I have been close too for years now We always did thing together, (dinner, shopping, dinner at each others house) Now noting, she is said that I am not the same person, she said that she over eats and I never eat, she said that she is fat and I am skinny, Has anyone else have this happen,
I do feel Like I am the same person that I was before surgery but have I changed?
Has anyone else had this happen to them?
what do I say to her?

Hi Janet

This hasn't happened to me because I haven't had surgery yet.  But I was on the other side of the equation.  My best friend lost 200 lbs and she said she was worried about telling me about her successes.  She was worried I was going to feel bad or jealous.  She didn't want to lose me as a friend.  I never ever thought that way.  She knows this now.  If anything she is the person that inspired me to get off my butt and get the surgery done.  I feel lucky to have a friend that has been through this before me.  I can ask her questions or ask her advise.  My feeling is if they are doing this to you its more about their insecurities and not you.

Also I was just thinking I have no obese friends.  So I don't think I will have any jealousy issues.  Hopefully.  

You know I do think it is alot of her being insecure, she said that her Ins will not pay ofor the surgery, but she was also taking the diet pills from the Dr. and was losing the weight but quit taking them, so I don't know maybe she is afraid of being thin, any way thank for you input,
I will just keep letting her know that I am and will always be here for her, that is about all I can do for now,

Well, let's be honest, you HAVE changed. You had the courage to choose a better, healthier future for yourself. That's great! But it could be jeopardizinng the way she feels about herself and how she thinks you feel about HER. She may be soul-searching about her own health and weight and lashing out at you. Maybe she feels insecure that you won;t want to be her friend anymore and needs your reassurance that you will always be her friend, through "thick and thin."

I'm sorry this happened, but maybe it's not beyond repair. She has to be willing to work on it, too. Maybe instead of food, you guys can rebuild your friendship around something else you like to do together, like movies, concerts, book club, exercising (long walks?), etc?

As long as you have not been overtly judgmental about her food consumption, exercise, etc. then I can't see her being justified in being upset with you as a person. Just her feeling left behind, in some way (some weigh?).

Food is an integral part of my life. I enjoy eating. I love going to dinner with my friends and do it once or twice a week. I don'****ch what they eat, and initial curiosity aside, they don'****ch what I eat. But if she is sensitive to that, maybe steer clear of food-centric outings with her and see how it goes for a while.

I have two dear friends who are still obese. I am keeping an eye on the situation. They are the ones who comment the most about how good I look and call me "Skinny." So, I may be in your shoes soon. We'll see.

Best of luck.

Nicolle

Thank you Nicolle, you see that is her problem she is a restaurant sitter, she and a few other older people go to Wendy's every day 6 days a week and sit for hours and have lunch and I went once and they all bring in food, ( chips cookies candy ) and share, and for me I just can not be around it, and I think that is what has put the wedge between us, I am looking it like this today if you were a true friend my weight would not have anything to do with our friendship.
again thanks for your input.
take care,
Janet