Shame
I'm glad that the note I wrote spoke to you as well. Your band is a tool. Nothing more and nothing less. So many of us refer to our surgery as a God send or a miracle, but in truth it is just a tool. The miracles are what we do with it. I encourage you to relax and recommit yourself to the rules of weightloss. Get support here or from all the other sources that exist and stop worring about the numbers! Yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine who has lost 206 pounds over the last 18 months. Prior to that, he weighed anywhere from 300 to 365 for almost his entire life. He's 5'2" tall so you can imagine how hard his struggle with weight has been. He said a few things that made a whole lot of sense. First, he only cared about getting to the weight that he had been down to 7 years earlier. But without even caring, he is now 80 pounds lighter than that weight. Second, if he ate something that didn't go down well, he never ate it again! Third, he started adding activity to life. He swims and bike rides. It only made sense. And the most important part is that he accepted the fact that he spent 50 years with this problem and it was going to take a huge amount of effort and some time to overcome it, even with WLS. Now he's at goal and has accepted that he will occasionally gain a pound or 2 and then loose a pound or 2. I asked him if wants to keep taking off more, and he said he doesn't think about it because he's healthier than he's ever been, and is enjoying his life! I asked him if he is considering having plastic surgery on the excess skin and he said no. He isn't having problems with it and he doesn't feel he needs to worry. When I got home, I took off my shirt and looked in the mirror. For the first time I could see that I now have a flat stomach. I look really good and I look like the person I wished I'd looked like at my wedding. I'm just half way to my goal weight, and my weight lose has slowed to a crawl, but I've already accomplished so much. That was a great feeling that I had been depriving myself of! I've said this before, and I'll say it again, it's got to be the going there that's good, not just the arrival at the destination!!! That's true for all of life, not just weight loss. Stay the corse and work on the steps that need working on, but stop and enjoy the accomplishments along the way. Even if they seem small compared to the big picture. I have never seen your picture. I have no idea of your looks or your weight. But I've enjoyed your wit, your laughter and even your fears and tears. You've shown all of us incredible beauty and strength over and over again. And yet you seem to see your WLS as another failure in a life full of failures. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! It's a long road with many loops and turns, no more no less. You are on that road and you are doing well. Stay the course, read and follow the map, keep coming here for support, bust most importantly, enjoy the scenery as you travel! One last thing. Since I am no longer able to eat my comfort foods, I now have a new way of finding comfort. Whenever I'm depressed and needing to get my fix, I grab my baby girl and play with her until she either laughs uncontrolably, or sings for me (her current hit song is "Gah Goo Gah Goo", her own composition!). It is a far better comfort then food ever was, and strangly enough, the depression goes away! As I recall, you have one of these little comfort angels hanging around your house! Try it! Hang in there. You are far more successful in this than you realize.
Paul
Paul
255/170/175
CHUNKYMUNKY_08
on 8/21/08 12:49 am
on 8/21/08 12:49 am
I go to the doc's this Tuesday...I am going to ask for an unfill to take me back to even the minimal I was at....and "still losing"....even if it was a pound a week...a pound is still a pound. We will also be scheduling an upper GI and some more tests to make sure that the band has not slipped, eroded or if I possibly have a hernia....I was told that there is no reason to be this "tight" w/such small amounts of cc's in the band and causing me to slime,pb and puke w/everything I eat or even drink at times. (The day I had the fill to begin with...the minute I took a drink of water....you could literally here it gurgling in the back of my throat and then I started to immediately slime....so some cc's were taken out....then three days later after still being in pain....more cc's out...good times!!) I was also told I may end up getting unfilled completely to start again to see if that "solves" the problem.
I rather not be filled to the hilt in the meantime and suffer....and then only eat the junk/processed food that goes down a "little" easier than most.....such as ice cream....but then again even pudding and jello were getting stuck and pooling in the back of my throat.
I can admit I like to eat....and love food...but I love ALL food not just junk food. So, when not being able to eat even the good foods and it impedes on me being able to eat the healthy to drop the pounds....that is not going to fly in my book. And this upchucking on pudding, jello, mashed taters is not going to cut it....not in my book.
I have always been upfront and honest about my love/hate relationship with the band. Some days "we" have issues and some days we are on neutral ground. But this past week.....this band has been a "*****" to me and I have no qualms telling it that I HATE IT. But then again....I was told that I have extremely sensitive stomach so perhaps that is why I am having some of the issues I am right now...I am being my own devil's advocate.
I am not sure what will end up coming about this choke chain.....but until a revision or this gets fixed for the better.....I am going to unfill a little and keep eating my food that has helped me drop a pound here and there. I love tilipia, tuna, salmon, orange roughy......fish in general...and not being able to choke it down right now...not cool. And I miss eating veggies. I was beginning to enjoy holding my nose to eat cooked carrots.
ACTUALLY!!! I just learned to love sweet potatoes. I had them as a kid and HATED them....had a bite the other day...and LOVED IT....weird...but I did.
I know I told my buddie Munchkin on here that I rather lose it slow than be in pain. But until things change.....Bertha the Band is here to stay in my body so IT better get used to me in the meantime!
I rather not be filled to the hilt in the meantime and suffer....and then only eat the junk/processed food that goes down a "little" easier than most.....such as ice cream....but then again even pudding and jello were getting stuck and pooling in the back of my throat.
I can admit I like to eat....and love food...but I love ALL food not just junk food. So, when not being able to eat even the good foods and it impedes on me being able to eat the healthy to drop the pounds....that is not going to fly in my book. And this upchucking on pudding, jello, mashed taters is not going to cut it....not in my book.
I have always been upfront and honest about my love/hate relationship with the band. Some days "we" have issues and some days we are on neutral ground. But this past week.....this band has been a "*****" to me and I have no qualms telling it that I HATE IT. But then again....I was told that I have extremely sensitive stomach so perhaps that is why I am having some of the issues I am right now...I am being my own devil's advocate.
I am not sure what will end up coming about this choke chain.....but until a revision or this gets fixed for the better.....I am going to unfill a little and keep eating my food that has helped me drop a pound here and there. I love tilipia, tuna, salmon, orange roughy......fish in general...and not being able to choke it down right now...not cool. And I miss eating veggies. I was beginning to enjoy holding my nose to eat cooked carrots.
ACTUALLY!!! I just learned to love sweet potatoes. I had them as a kid and HATED them....had a bite the other day...and LOVED IT....weird...but I did.
I know I told my buddie Munchkin on here that I rather lose it slow than be in pain. But until things change.....Bertha the Band is here to stay in my body so IT better get used to me in the meantime!
*~Da Chunkster~*
"Sarcasm is just another free service I offer"~ Brian the Dog
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups!!" 
"I'm a cute & TAN all year round...SO don't hate & be jealous."
My local WLS doctor won't give me any fill since I still have a great deal of resistance. He said some doctors will fill because that is what you are paying for, but that only causes problems. Sounds like you are having those problems. As I understand it, a fill is what you do when the band gets loose and no longer does it's job. If the band is doing its job, you don't fill it. I think you have the right idea in getting some taken out and going back to the space you were in when you were loosing. A pound a week is a great place to be at. That's 52 pounds a year! It's okay to have a love affair with food, just make it a healthy relationship!
255/170/175
Hey Lucy! I am also glad you are back. I have missed your posts. Shame is the fuel for all addictions and is an issue we all have to deal with. I know I struggle with it and sometimes it wins and sometimes I do. This is the place where we can be our own honest self.
Connie
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/gay_lesbian_bisexual_transgender/
Hi Connie. Yes, I agree. It sure helped to read an article about it yesterday. I do believe that I can be honest here and share my problems.
Thanks
Lucy 
484.8/383.4/241/188/150
Pre-op/RNY day/pre DS day/current/goal- Realize Band 5/15/08; RNY 6/8/05, Removal Band and RNY to DS 8/25/10. RNY & Band surgeon was Dr. Guske.
Oh Lucy!!!!!!
I am SOOO glad to see you again. We were very worried about you. Please don't leave us, we are here for you and each other.
A 9 lb. loss is FANTASTIC! Especially since you were vacationing in Vegas. I know, I got back from there about 10 days ago, and there are SO MANY food choices there! You have done a great job. (By the way, I took the Stripper 101 class and we had a blast---there are pictures on my profile if you are interested.)
Keep comimg here and attending support groups----it is very helpful.
I am glad that you are going to return to your old self. In my experience, it was also true, love found me after I stopped looking for it. Your soul mate will arrive, just when he should. You are strong and sexy, just enjoy being yourself!
Love ya,
I am SOOO glad to see you again. We were very worried about you. Please don't leave us, we are here for you and each other.
A 9 lb. loss is FANTASTIC! Especially since you were vacationing in Vegas. I know, I got back from there about 10 days ago, and there are SO MANY food choices there! You have done a great job. (By the way, I took the Stripper 101 class and we had a blast---there are pictures on my profile if you are interested.)
Keep comimg here and attending support groups----it is very helpful.
I am glad that you are going to return to your old self. In my experience, it was also true, love found me after I stopped looking for it. Your soul mate will arrive, just when he should. You are strong and sexy, just enjoy being yourself!
Love ya,
Tell someone that you love them!
Dawn
253/223/167/127
HW/SW/CW/GW
Hi Dawn. I wanted to respond to your message yesterday, but I couldn't get the response area to pop up. I saw your pictures and noticed that you had a great time.
I do need to focus on myself and let the rest die for now. I have plenty of emotional turmoil in my life.
Thanks for your message. Love you too.
Hugs,
Lucy
I do need to focus on myself and let the rest die for now. I have plenty of emotional turmoil in my life.
Thanks for your message. Love you too.
Hugs,
Lucy
484.8/383.4/241/188/150
Pre-op/RNY day/pre DS day/current/goal- Realize Band 5/15/08; RNY 6/8/05, Removal Band and RNY to DS 8/25/10. RNY & Band surgeon was Dr. Guske.
big giant hugs to you my dear friend. you are on the right track by taking care of Lucy. Lucy is a special person who I care very much about no matter her size or shape.
Dr Guske is there to help you and as you know he is very supportive and not the type to be judgemental or critical . No missing appointments please - he needs to see you to take care of you.
I'm looking forward to geting togethr soon. I have been so busy pulling to gether the surprise party for DH for his birthday and graduation that I have had no time for anything else. I wish you had been able to come.
hope to see you very soon.
HUGS
Dr Guske is there to help you and as you know he is very supportive and not the type to be judgemental or critical . No missing appointments please - he needs to see you to take care of you.
I'm looking forward to geting togethr soon. I have been so busy pulling to gether the surprise party for DH for his birthday and graduation that I have had no time for anything else. I wish you had been able to come.
hope to see you very soon.
HUGS
10+ years post op and still maintaining!!! surgery 9/25/2002 260/134
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatric_journey/welcome/ if you send a friend request on FB make a note that you are from OH - thanks http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=586438255&ref=profile
also www.facebook.com/valshealthykitchen
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