Why do we feel so guilty after surgery?!?!

Okay, so I am almost 4 months out from my RNY and doing great! I take all my vitamins, eat as much protein as I can and I am really trying hard to get ALL tha****er in....BUT why do I feel so guilty?? Lately when I eat my meals I have to force myself to stop eating! Like one night we went to Applebee's for dinner. I ordered chicken fajitas. I only ate the chicken, gauc., green beans and a little of the sour cream. I felt very satisfied and not overly full, but afterwards this guilt set in. I felt like I ate to much and now I am going to fail at this too. We all know how we used to feel before our RNY's or Lapband's and this feeling wont go away and I know its going to take time, but anyone else out there feel this way? Like today, we were at the pool and I forgot to pack my lunch. I was very hungry and I had a FF yopliat yogurt and maybe 10 gold fishy pretzels and then an hour later I ate a SF FF pudding cup. I felt guilty for eating that! OMG whats wrong with me (is the 1st thing I thought). Normally I would pack my lunch and eat something full of protein thats filling, but today thats all I had. Ugh...I hate feeling this way. I dont want to fail at this and I am terrified of overeating and eating the wrong foods. I have not had any problems with food and so far everything seems to go down just fine.  If anyone can share their feelings with me on this situation that would be great!! Thank you to everyone who has given me their support with my past posts!!! It really means a lot to me! Best wishes to all!  Jill 

Would it help to say I feel that way too.....

Yes it does Wendi! It's nice to know that someone else feels the same way I do. :) Thank you! How are you feeling lately? I know you were in the hospital not to long ago..... Jill

I am actually doing pretty good, with the exception of going through a phase of nausea.  I know that this too shall pass.

Doing pretty good, but now I am going through a phase of nausea.  I know that this too shall pass.

I am almost 21 months out and I can tell you that for me, it is still the same.  I have been at a standstill with my weight loss since 10 months out and let me tell you.......I beat myself up A LOT for being a "failure" in my mind some days. I wonder......"maybe I eat too much, that is the problem!"  I am failing at this "last resort" the same way as all my previous attempts.  So then, I make a concious effort to eat less.  Then I think, "maybe I am starving myself, that's why I am not losing.........."  The same internal dialog goes on about exercise...too much (starvation) or too little?  (I HAVE tracked everything and am generally in the range of calories and activity recommended by my surgeon.) Most days, I just try to remind myself that I have come a long way (even if it is not as far as I would have liked.....) and there is no turning back, so I must make the best of it.  I now work on eating a healthy diet, getting in all my vitamins, supporting all my new friends here on OH, exercising in moderation and being generally more active.  That is the best I can do, and I need to remind myself that my best just has to be good enough. I hope this helps you in some small way, although as I read back on it, it seems like a big giant whine (got any cheese?  lol)

I have some string cheese!  
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Hi Dawn! Thank you SO much for your response!! It was beautifully said and written and you were not a big giant whine!! (I do LOVE chesse) I totally got everything you were saying and it is exactly how I feel too! God, what a relief to know that I am not alone. I mean, I knew I was not alone and I have OH and everyone has been so supporitve, but sometimes deep inside our heads we feel alone and confused. This has been an amazing journey for the both of us and I know it gets harder with each day. You are right Dawn, we have to remind ourselves how far we have come. Your message really meant a lot to me. Thank you Dawn for being there for me. It is nice to be able to turn to OH and talk to all my new friends! Thank you SO much. You were a life saver on a crumey day (for me) Hope you are having a good day and remember, if you ever need a lending ear I am here too!  Best wishes! Jill

I am the same way.  There are days that I feel like all the things I am eating are wrong!  Then when I step on the scale and it's only gone down a couple of ounces I feel like I messed up.  I know it's all a head thing and that it too shall pass, but man, this is hard!  Next person who tells me this was the easy way out...well they better jus****ch it!  lol

Hang in there Jill, you are doing great and everything will be good.

Hi Monica!! This is a roller coaster of emotions huh Monica? I knew it was going to be tough, but this is truley the hardest thing I had to do. I knew it going into the surgery, but now that we are here...well its a different story. This head thing is so damn annoying...isn't it?!? LOL  before my surgery I really never felt gulity for overeating at Mcdonalds. So I'd have a 1/4 pounder meal and chicken nuggets. I never felt guilt before. I would just keep stuffing the emotions down with food. Oh food, glorious food!!! (Thats what I used to think) Now, food feels like my new enemy! Argggggg!! LOL  I know in time this will pass and talking to people like YOU, I know we can ALL get through this together! I love this site and love everyone that has listened to me and given me hope and much needed support!! Thanks for being there for me Monica. It has really meant the world to me!! Thank you SO much!!!  Take care! Jill