What did family do during your surgery that helped most?

Hello Illinois (and fellow Chi-towners if you're out there!),  Got a question for the group.  My family is flying in for my surgery on May 28.  I'm having a lap bypass (RNY).  I had 2 questions:  1) What did family do during your surgery that helped the most? 2) How many days went by before you felt like you could manage completely on your own?   I ask this because I have no family or friends in the area, so everyone has to be "imported." LOL.  My family wants to know what they can do to help and they want to know how long someone should stay with me.   If you have any insights, I'd be much obliged!  Thanks everyone and have a great day!

I stayed with my parents for a week right after surgery, I also had open rny, I thought I would need them to do more for me but I could have managed on my own other than running and getting things at the store and doing my laundry I was good....but it was awful nice to have them there.  I got up and fixed my own stuff to eat/drink and getting my water.....It is always good to have them there just in case something should happen medically.....It made me feel safe! Pam

Hi Cherise - I had open RNY and as much as I was glad my mother flew in to help me, I probably could have managed w/out if I had to.  My mom really helped the first few days just with making sure I had my scheduled amounts of liquids.  My nutritionist had a list of what to sip each hour and it did help to have mom there to make sure I stayed on track and woke up for meds etc.  She actually shortened her visit because I was doing so well and her house had sold and needed to get back home to pack etc.  I would say the first three days were a little hard and I'm glad I had more then my hubby to help since he was working the majority of my recovery. I was back to work 1 1/2 weeks out.  The first week back to work I was pretty tired and did not have much energy.  I would say I felt pretty good at 3wks and real good at 4. Good Luck, Christina

My mom stayed with me for about 10 days...My BF was here but he was working all day so she drove me to the doc,did laundry.dishes ect..I had surgery on Monday was in hosp til Friday and she left the following Wed, I had an appt on Thurs to get the drain out,drove there and I did fine...I think a minumum a week cuz  before that you really only have the energy to eat and of course a little shopping is always good walking LOL

Thank you Pam, Cristina, and Nursey!  This is all very helpful.  If anyone else would like to weigh in, that'd be great, too.  Wow, it's nice to have somewhere to go to talk about this! Cherise

Cherise,

I had laproscopic ryn.  I had my dh and teenage daughter.  I didn't cook or clean at all for the first week.  I needed the most help w/ getting dressed.  I couldn't bend over, so putting on underware pants, socks, and shoes were a problem for me.  I also needed help getting up from the recliner and getting into bed each night.   My dh was my chauffeur the whole time.  1 week after surgery I just moved the car and it hurt to turn the steering wheel.  Two weeks after surgery, I was fine to drive.  Its also nice to have someone around for emotional support.  Our hormones go crazy and we cry for no reason and in my case I also got easily angered from little things.  I took 3 weeks off from work. ~Michelle

I had my DH there and he works out of the house so I had that luxury of having him there 24/7. I did not drive until after I went back in for my 2 week apt. and by that time I was just about done taking my prescription meds. Most docs will not let you drive until after you are off of the narcotic pain meds. I was back at work at 2 1/2 weeks. I had an extra day with the Memorial Day weekend.  You might need someone there to help you dress and bathe, carry things for you. The day I went home from the hospital Dave drove me to Jewel and I got one of those electric carts and we went grocery shopping. He still had to eat even if I was only on liquids. It was good to get out of the hospital and house. You might also need someone to go out and get you minor things from the store.  I am with Christina as I felt pretty good by 3 weeks. Pam, Christina and I all have the same doc. I had open RNY as did my DH and he was doing pretty good and had about the same time line as I did. Christine