can i vent here?

I am a nervous wreck!  I have 18 days until lap band surgery!  i have been diligently preparing myself since this journey started in january.  i know how lucky i am that i got approved within 2 weeks, as we have bcbs goverment insurance and apparenty they approve right away if you have a bmi over 40.  it was all of the clearances that took so much time.  but i am so nervous right now! i feel like my head is spinning.  i know i can do this but so much  has been going on around here that i just want to eat a gino's east pizza! :)  i won't of course and have been eating slow, taking small bitesand not drinking before during and after meals, etc. all in preparation for how it will be after surgery.  i have started walking too.  i am doing all of the physical things but maybe it just takes me to continue doing this but i am in such a funk and full of anxiety right now that i feel soooo worried.  the background is that in the last 4 months, my loving mother in law was diagnosed and passed away with cancer , one of my sister in laws attempted suicide, and she keeps telling me that i am the only one she can talk to (that enough shows me so much anxiety making sure that i check in with her, make sure she is taking her meds, going to her appointments, etc).  in the last two weeks, i have put my beloved dog to sleep, and we just buried my mother in law this week.  life feels like it's spinning out of control.  maybe i just need to realize that my weight being IN CONTROL is within my grasp now!  when i think of losing weight and being thin i just get so giddy!!!  i have young kids so being able to run around with them is so exciting!!  i also work on the floor every day that i work (i am a speech language pathologist and work with babies birth to three in their homes) and i will be so much more mobile after i lose weight!  we have decided that a fun weight loss reward will be that we will go to colorado next winter for a family ski trip.  rewards will be fun on this journey!  i can't wait to do active things with my family again like i used to!!    anyways, thanks for reading my rant, if you made it this far!!    i know it's all going to work out, i am just soooo nervous right now!

Karey, take things one day at a time. You will make it. I can allmost garantee it. I am so sorry for your lost, your MIL and your pet. Look forward to the future, when there really will be less of you. Hugs

Hi Karey, It is not unusual to have these feelings. You also have many other things causing you to stress at this time. You are soo right that it will get easier to do things after this surgery. I love playing with my grandchildren on the floor now. It is easier for me to get off the floor when we are done playing. When is your education class? Two weeks before you will start the pre-op diet. I lost 14.5 pounds during those two weeks. Just keep your eyes on the prize...better health...and I'm sure you will do good.  PM me and we can keep in touch. I would be glad to talk with you. Good luck with your journey! It is a good one.

I'm scheduled for surgery with Dr. Lahmann on May 6th.  I'm currently on the pre-op diet.  I took the education class back in Dec. and I got out my book and it says 3 protein shakes a day but when I did the diet back in Dec I was told 2 shakes and 4 oz of lean meat and a half cup of non-starchy veggies.  Just wondering what you did on your pre-op diet? thanks  Liane

Hi Lianne, my 2 week pre-op diet included 2 protein shakes and 4oz protein and 1/2 cup non starchy vegetables.

Hang in there!  I am scheduled for a week from tomorrow and it has been amazing the scale of emotions that have coursed through me.  One minute I'm excited and the next I'm scared and then the next I'm absolutely sure that my band won't work.  It amazes me that I was fine with being over weight for 30 years and now I'm having problems getting through one more week!  But I know the drill and I have faith in all my friends on this board who tell me that my emotions and fears are typical and normal.  As you pointed out, we are all on a journey.  And the thing about life journey's are that we never go back from where we came.  There's a great lyric from an old Seals and Crofts song that goes like this:  Like the twilight in the road up ahead, they don't see just where we're goin'.  And all the secrets in the Universe, whisper in our ears And all the years will come and go, take us up, always up.  We may never pass this way again.  Stay the course and we'll both be on the loosers bench before you know it! Paul

"We may never pass this way again" was the theme of my school dance! That really dates me!

thank you everyone for your kind words and support!  i am getting excited and just want to blink my eyes and just be coming out of recovery right now with lap band in place!