Dilema

Ok.....it IS fun to share clothes with Olivia, but......... She is just about my height and weighs 120 pounds, which is "normal" BMI. My "dream goal" is 125, but I will be happy at 130-140, which is in the average range for my height. The problem is that I can see that she already has the bad habits that got me to be morbidly obese in the first place and her older sister is also obese. How can I get her to stop before it is too late? She already comes home from school upset that kids call her "fat" (which she is not----yet). When reading blogs here on OH---I see so many women that had issues growing up with parents that always seemed critical of their eating habits, but that made them eat all the more. It seems that if I say too much I lose, and if I don't say enough, I lose. (or should I say she loses?) Some background....... With my oldest (Amber--now 29) I tried not to say anything in order for her not to have image problems and always showered her with love. She always ate whatever she wanted and has grown to be obese and she now wishes I had done more. With the "little ones" (Olivia, 11 and David 14) I was the "food police" when they were small......no candy, very little sugar, soda and not a lot of junk food. I always gave them healthy snacks, carrots, raisins, rice cakes.....and they love that stuff too. They both now have much more freedom to chose their own food, and I catch them both hiding and eating garbage. David was chubby a few years ago, but has grown to be 6 feet tall and thinned out after marching band and football. Olivia plays softball and basketball, but if she does not stop eating all the wrong things (which I seem to find more and more of)......and I'm not even sure where it all comes from. I have tried to talk to her about it, and we speak a lot about serving sizes, but she will sit in front of the TV and eat (which is forbidden) a whole large bag of cheese popcorn or 4-6 popscicles, or 2 candy bars in a sitting. If there is ice cream in the house, she would eat half of a half gallon container easily. I have talked to her about my surgery, letting her know that it is not the easy way out. She looks at me as if she does not believe me. She has seen that it has been "easy" for me in her eyes......no sickness, no pain, and the pounds look to her like they've just melted away. I have not had many problems, but even if I did, I would try not to let her see that as she is my child, and I would not complain to her anyway. Oh....I have also had her doctor speak to her, but it doesn't really change anything.

So.......if I say too much, they eat more and hide it.  If I don't say enough, they eat more and may or may not hide it.  Sorry for the long post, but does anyone have any suggestions, or do I just have to continue what I am doing and hope for the best? Thanks for sticking with me......... Dawn

Hi Dawn - That's a tough one.  I was an obese child and now wish my mother would have helped me make healthier choices.  She's obese so typically you are a product of your environment.. (not always but I would say majority are). Where is she getting the junk food??  If your buying it, cut it out.  You know yourself that being overweight sucks.  Try fruit.. frozen red grapes are awsome.  Granny smith apples w/ pb. Carrots, Cellery.  Maybe you can get the 100calorie packs of snacks and keep them hidden or locked up and allow her one a day.  If she's anything like Calvin...... He eats the whole freakin package.  I try to buy single portion size puddings and then he ends up eating all six..  Or the little packs of oreo crackers etc.. Not so much now that he has started taking the pre-op stages seriously.  I know you guys stay active with the kids..........does she like to swim?  Maybe you and Olivia could swim together.  Take up arobics.

I wish I knew what to say to make it all better.

Hang in there, Christina

Yeah.....I wish there was a magic answer. I'm not sure WHERE a lot of it comes from.  Some she gets at school, from friends, etc.....  I do know that Todd has a change jar and he is always complaining that they are taking money from the jar, but he won't put it away where they can't find it....he says that he shouldn't have to. I hardly buy any junk food, but she sounds just like Calvin.  I have tried the 100 calorie packs and single servings too.  I HATE to think that I will have to actually lock up food. Thanks for the support though!

If I remember correctly there aren't any packaged goods stores in Rock City at all. She is not even chunky if I remember correctly, she is just right. The kids are saying those things to her because of all the peer pressure that goes on. Kids now a days will slam others if they are not rail thin or the same as all the celebritys on tv and music videos.  Unfortantely, she has some of your genes and some of Todds and she is going to fight that all her life if the wrong ones take over. I was a closet eater when I was young. I was average as a child and really did not get obese to MO until I was married and in my 20's. Then the genes took over. My mom and dad both battled weight issues most of their lives. They were able to have it under control before both of them died. Going back to other generations of both sides - they were obese to MO.  It is really hard for you to have to divey out the portions of the snacks to your kids and husband but you might have to. David is probably burning calories hand over fist with being in sports and band.  Do you belong to Sam's Club? If you do then they have the big boxes of snack packs of the chips etc. You might have to buy those and portion out only one a day. You will have to be creative as to where you keep the remainder of the box. Some of the larger grocery chains have those snack pak variety boxes also for moms to use for lunches. You know your kids the best - you will have to nail down what is making her eat all this junk . . . There might be some underlying stress wise for her right now with school, sports and socially. Just when you thought you moved to Rock City to get away from Rockford's way of life (peer pressures, crime etc) - it followed you I am afraid.  Chris

Thanks Christine! Actually, they go over to the gas station across the highway for junk.  That's about all that place has.

Anyway, I also think Olivia is "just right".   I'm just trying to be a bit proactive.  I did not really grow up with parents, so sometimes, I solicit advice from those that did just to make sure I am on the right track.

I am going to keep my eye on her and hope for the best.  I was thinking about this a lot yesterday and realized that if you look at David's picture when he was Olivia's age, he was actually quite "chunky", then he lost all that baby fat that year and has been lean ever since.  Maybe that will happen for her too.   I think the end of summer and a lot of boredom for her triggered my alarm.  I just can't believe all the wrappers I have found lately hidden around where she has been.  It seems like we are doing all we can, so we will just have to wait it out. Hope you have a lovely day!