Oprah - her WLS program

OK I did not see it but a friend told me about it yesterday and you can go to the Oprah Winfrey website , search Carnie Wilson, the show was called suddenly skinny. For what ever its worth I am about 3.5 years out and yes this show rang true for me. It was great in the beginning loosing weight, goin out dancin ect. Lovin my new body... eventally I started the drinking and was loosing control. Yes I have problems or how the heck did I get to 310 pds in the first place. Well I still don't have control and yes I have an addictive personalilty. Am an alkie, uh NO, weekend drinker sometimes, my problem is I cannot stop once I have started. I have blacked out twice, did nothing bad but I still don't remember things I do everything in excess, whether its exercise, eating, smoking(yes I smoke now), shopping ,dancin.... doesn't matter. I dont know how to stop myself. I am back into my support groups - thank God I met my husband because I may have been a sexaholic too. I am not proud of it but yes I am going from one addiction to the other periodically sometimes more than not. I am trying to find a "GOOD" addiction to replace the bad ones, but nonetheless I am an addict and constantly trying to control things that trigger them. Let me tell you it is very VERY hard for me. This is probably the hardest post I have EVER done, I just wonder how many of us out 3+ years are having this problem. I have a loving husband, a great 23 yr old daughter, we have a house , decent job so no my life is not out of order at the least. So here I am still working on struggling with this demon but I take it one day at a time, just like the AA logo goes. In the end I found Oprahs show very helpful, thought I was alone in my battle. As Carnie said she was poster child for WLS well all eyes are on me in my family and circle of friends too. This is probably one of my triggers, I have to remember that they cannot judge me unless they walked a mile in my shoes ya know. So every time I mess up, I pick myself up and tell myself I am going to keep on trying until I can control my addictions. Just my thought.... Kim in Chicago