Good Monday Morning

Good morning (YAWN) I didn't want to wake up and get out of bed this am......I am tired! We had fun at the Amana's.....the waterpark was a little small and a lot crowded, but the kids had fun and thats what mattered. I did make it to the Tanger outlets before going home, and spent way too much money Wilsons Leather was CHEAP-so we got new coats for next year. My hubby really liked me in a fitted Red leather one And I did look hot But I just couldn't spend that kind of money on something I wouldn't wear very often. Got some new walking shoes and work out stuff at the Reebok store....and got the kids some cute spring outfits at Gap and OshGosh......I love outlet malls. But with kids and hubby in tow, I couldn't get to all the stores I wanted...oh well maybe next time.....the drive there was so nice, and short since all the highway is done from Dubuque.....I might just do it, more often My biggest thing *I didn't go into the chocolate store* That is good for me Well it is 7am and I have to start getting the girls ready for school......Just wanted to stop in and see how everyones weekend went? What kind of plans do you have going on this week???? Any goals you would like to mention??? I am eating good, drinking good, and TAKING ALL MY PILLS, plus I got cleared to exercise SO I better start that too. (have had good excuses not to exercise with all the plastic surgerys since august ) But I am gonna kick myself in the butt and get moving Come hell or high water I am going to get in shape and get to goal by July....10 year class reunion I wanna look my best!!! Oh yeah and if that isn't enough.....hubby has informed me, he can't diet by himself.......I have to do it for him......so we might be fighting a lot around here He doesn't have any control (he says)!!!! So thats it from me.....Hope to hear from everyone......Have a great week......Take Care Jesi

Ok, hello Jesi and everybody My goals this week: friend and I are going to the Y (hopefully) Wednesday afternoon. I just found out she goes Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and I think that will help me a lot. Gotta get more vitamins and my calcium, (and make sure I fill my little dispenser reminder every week), make an appointment with Dr. Eibes (That's a big one), and get happy. By the way, if anybody watches Dr. Phil, My cousin is going to be on (if he decides to take part) March 10. He's a counselor in Illinois. He is going to help a couple. (Marriage problems, I believe). His name is Mark Calvert. (my mom's cousin, actually, I believe that's his last name) I'll have to double check. I haven't seen him for 10 years. My mom is really not a support person for me anymore and it hurts me. I had a support meeting the 4th of February in Des Moines, and she told me she would go with me to Des Moines, but she would not go in with me. She had the surgery 30 years ago, and regained everything back, she didn't want people to start asking her, "When is your surgery, or why didn't it work for you?" She calls me on the weekends and asks me to bring home Snickerdoodle cookies from Walmart, and guess what I do. I know better. Dad and I are both worried about her. She sleeps too much. She only wakes up to take her pills (if she remembers them), if she has a doctor's appointment, or when Dad or I yell at her to get up. I want her support. But it's so hard when she tells you she'll go with you, but all she really wants to do is go shopping, but complains when I have to drive, she wants to be dropped off at the front door or uses Grandpa's handicap sticker, (Which I know is a BIG NO-NO!). I guess maybe I'm a little embarrassed to drive her anywhere. Because of the bickering about parking. Enough rambling. Gotta get to my school work. Take Care Love Lisa Young

Lisa, I'm so sorry that your Mom isn't there to support you. Try not to be so hard on her though. Since she had her surgery 30 years ago, she had the one that is easy to eat through. I know of so many people who had surgery in the 70's & even later who have gained all their weight back. It must be mortifiying for her to be mistaken for a pre-op at your meetings & even wose if someone asks her why it failed. See, her surgery didn't fail. She did & she knows it & she is probably pretty embarrassed about it. I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't expect you to fail & maybe, deep down, hopes you will so it will somehow prove to her that she didn't fail. Don't let her do that to you. Keep doing what you do for yourself. Show her that this surgery is the best thing you could have done for yourself & that it, & you, will succeed. She doesn't need to be at your meetings. You can go alone. You're an adult & don't need her there if she doesn't want to be there. Let her ride along for the company & if she wants to shop during the meeting, let her. She obviously isn't interested in a revision or she would be anxious to go along. It is only a reminder to her of how badly she has done. People can be so insensitive. Several months ago, at support group meeting, I was sitting at a table with a mother & daughter and one other member. That member has lost a lot of weight & never forgets to remind you how well she is doing. She has done wonderfully, partly because she had several serious problems at first & even now has food issues. She now makes sure everyone knows that she needs to gain weight. Anyway, she doesn't always think before she speaks & she asked the daughter when her surgery was scheduled. My jaw hit the floor. I knew that she was a post-op & several months, in fact. She had been quite large to start out & had actually lost over 100 lbs. You could see how hurt she was by the question but she told the thoughtless one that she was almost a year out & that she was very happy with her weight loss so far. I was proud of her response to the question but to be honest, I can't remember if she has returned to support group. She has the support of her mother but she also needs the support group. That thoughtless act may have chased her away, thinking maybe she wasn't doing a very good job of losing. Your mother, too, doesn't want to go through that humiliation & I don't blame her. That's not to say that you should give up on her. Be there for her but don't be a facilatator. If she calls & asks for cookies, tell her to get them herself, that you won't contribute to making things worse. If you can't tell her that, then just forget to get them. Ya, she'll be mad, I bet but eventually she'll get the idea. You apparently watch Dr. Phil at least ocassionally. Awhile back he had someone on there who was huge & could no longer leave his home because of his weight, however, he still was eating Big Macs & cookies & all the bad things that got him there. How did he do it? He had a well meaning friend or family member, who couldn't stand to say No, bring them home for him, just helping to kill him. They didn't really realize just how much damage they were doing and it was their responsibility to not do it. You need to take care of yourself & make sure you do what is best for you. I know this has to cause you stress and can't help your depression. Don't let what she is doing to herself make you fail. As far as the handicap tag goes, yes, I guess it is probably illegal but I will admit that I did the same thing. Before my surgery, I hurt so bad that if I couldn't find a parking place close by I'd leave. I had Mom's sticker that she got when she had cancer & if there were several handicap places open, I'd use it. I'm not proud of that but think back to when you were at your largest. I know that if I had gone to my docotr & admitted just how much I hurt, he'd probably have written an order for me to use legally. I was just too ashamed to do that so I used Mom's. I'm not saying it's OK but I can understand why she does it. Hang in there, Lisa, we're here for you. Dixie

Hmmm, Jesi, not having school yesterday make you lose a day? Last I checked it was Tuesday I do that all the time. When we have a day off on Monday, I'm lost for the rest of the week. I had to work yesteday but when it's not a "pricing day" (when the stock markets are closed) it's always an interesting night in the computer room. Tuesdays are usually kind of quiet with the smallest amount of output but it won't be tonight. We'll be making up for last night & I can bet that there will be problems along the way. Speaking of jobs, I heard back about Friday's interview. He wants me to come in to job shadow & take a documentation test sometime this week, probably tomorrow. It's going to be interesting. I sure hope I'll not be judged by my typing speed. I was not trained to be a data processor & my speed sucks. My goal, the same as it's been for months is to finally get over this hump & start my weight going down again. Yesterday I ate nothing but protein rich foods. Only thing with carbs was my salad & I don't think veggies are bad for you. Last night my weight was on the bottom of my "up 2, down 2" cycle. This morning, I'm back up 1 1/2. Now explain that to me. How did I gain overnight? Oh, I wanted to say that I had supper with Janie on Sunday night. Talk about looking hot! To look at her, you'd never dream she was once obese & she hasn't had a bit of plastics. I have a theory. The secret is falling in love. That must be it. Jesi, I'd be happy to trade husbands. Al has never had to watch his weight or exercise & doesn't understand what we go through every day. Milking has kept the weight off & he's in great shape physically. He expects all those good fattening foods, the ones that tempt me so. I'd love to not have them in the house or on the table. But, I suspect that like you & your husband, there'd be lots of arguments if I ever had to help him lose weight. Come to think of it, a couple years ago he got the results of his cholesterol test & it was high. The doctor sent him a heart healthy diet to follow which ended up in the garbage. He said he'd rather die eating well than eat that "crap." I believe my answer was that with all the life insurance I have on him, I'd be a really merry widow. It didn't help at all. I suspect that the way he's going, one day we'll find him under a cow, dead of a heart attack, but not until he's 80-85 years old. I'll have him around another 20-25 years, thankfully. You have a good TUESDAY. Dixie

Hi Jessi, I made it to Rockford and back with a few side trips on the way. I got off the interstate to soon and got a little lost but I found my way and was only a little later than I thought I would be. Which is real good for me. I didn't panic or anything when I got lost. I did however make one of those illegal U turns in the middle of I39. I only got honked at 2 times doing it and no tickets.(yet) I didn't have to go down 20 at all. So I couldn't stop to see you but maybe if I get this traveling thing down, I will take a road trip this summer and come see you. My daughter after I got there and had packed a few boxes told me she had been offered a job in Banglor India for 1 year. I was so disappointed. I thought I was going to get her home. But I cheerfully said, well dear what are you going to do? She isn't sure, and I want to be supportive for her. She would have to give up her cats if she goes. We all took care of them for her while she was gone for 6 mos. but can't do it again. We all have to many animals of our own. I hate it because I have fallen in love with them. Her oldest cat has developed diabeties so we would need to give her shots, and the other one doesn't get along with others well. Any how that will be the only thing to keep her in the states. She has signed papers to purchase a condo in N. Liberty but can get out of that. So time will tell. One of my goals for this week is to get my mind straight about her leaving and let her live her life for her, not me. I know this in my head but my heart breaks. She would make a good deal of money but money isn't everything. She is 29 yrs old, and single. Scares me to death but she is one strong woman and knows her job very well. Ok any how, going to pack her to move was great I got some handme down clothes or hand me up. She has lost so much weight being in India for 6 mos. none of her clothes fit. But we took 10 bags of clothes to goodwill and I didn't go through any of them. I was so proud of my self. I don't need all that many clothes either, and they probably were to young styled for me anyway. I was just happy to get a few pair of pants and 2 suits from her. I look great today at work, all professional and all. Some of my coworkers and the students wanted to know why I was all dressed up today. Well I have rambled along enough for now and will let you all get on to your day. Jesi I am glad you had a good time at Tanger, and at the motel. The kids probably enjoyed it also. If you decide to come back this way again let me know and I will try to meet you there. Have a great week and good luck with your future procedures on your gbladder. Cindy G.

I didn't even catch the "Monday" until Dixie mentioned it. My goal for this week is to get my angiogram over and obtain cardiac clearance. I found out yesterday that the surgeon hadn't even turned in my paperwork to the insurance company (said it would be done 2/9). I am trying to get all my ducks in a row so when I finally get approval they can just schedule me. Friday I stopped taking my protonix so that I could be off it two weeks and be ready for the H. Pylori test. I was okay until Monday, but then the heartburn and reflux was so bad I could hardly stand it. I went to bed at 10:00 p.m., way early for me, kept waking up and popping tums. Finally about 1:15 a.m. I broke down and took my protonix. Within an hour my stomach was better. I decided I will wait until after my angiogram Friday and then try stopping again. I think that may be the biggest hurdle to overcome for this surgery. If I cannot make it 5 days without it I don't know how I can make it the required 14 days! This week will go fast. I only have one more day in the office. Thursday I have to spend the day interviewing for a new executive director for a board I serve on. Friday I am taking the day off for my test. Friday at 4:00 through Sunday at 5:00p.m. my autistic son goes away for a weekend of respite. It will be a wonderful weekend. We may drive to Pella and take my son who goes there out to eat. I haven't seen him since he went back mid-January. Lisa: I plan to go to the next support group meeting at Dr. Eibes. Maybe we can meet and support each other! I won't know anyone else there and have no family support either. I can email you my picture before we go. I haven't quite figured out how to get it on my profile yet! Jan