Bad Day

Ok. This has been the worst day ever!! I am on day 8 of my 14 days of clear liquid diets. Doing pretty well, considering. Considering what you say? Lets see. Could it be that I was spit up on and pee'd on and smell like a dirty diaper (I work at a day care with babies). I am starving. I told my doctor today that I was so hungry today that when a little one spit baby food carrots at me, I was tempted to lick it off my shirt! OMG... how pathetic is that! Then my oldest daughter found out that her job (that she had prayed to be hired at) through a Personel Service has been cancelled. She is totally devestated. Now she don't know what she is going to do. I feel so sad for her, but am trying to encourage her with positive vibs!! Which isn't an easy task. And FINALLY... I found out that I have the beginning of kidney infection. With surgery just 7 days away. On antibiotics right away and hopefully all is clear by Friday. Please pray for that. And to top off this wonderful day... my youngest daughter (19) finally broke and expressed her fears of me having this surgery. I am full of guilt to the fact that is something goes wrong (please Lord...) I will leave my family without a mother/wife. That thought has always been on my mind, but with all that was going on, I never heard anything from either of my girls. Now, I am so anxious. I want this surgery FOR ME, (is this selfish, or what?) but the thought of my girls worrying so much while I am having the surgery just kills me. My husband is the best and is my strongest support. He tells me that this isn't just for me, it is for all of them and my future grandbabies. This is sooooo hard. I have so much to handle right now, and to top it off... PMS!! I give up Thanks for listening. Sometimes just getting things off my shoulders helps a little. Please keep your prayers coming my way. You guys are great!!! Terri

Poor girl.....sounds like a day from heck And to top it off....you can't eat.....I woulda been pulling my hair out!!!!! Hopefully the antibiotics stops the kinday infection and quick! It sure does seem like when it rains it pours huh??? Not only for you, but for your kids too!!! And this surgery is for you.....but it is going to greatly affect them in a good way, you are not being selfish....you want to live, and live healthy......thats the best thing you can do for yourself and them!!!! I know it seems crazy right now and you might feel at your witts end, but G*D never gives ya more than you can handle.....maybe hes making ya crazy so you don't have time to sit around and eat??? who knows??? But come on here and vent anytime you need to!!! I am gonna be in CC all weekend long.....your welcome to come out to my folks, we can meet and chat.....or I can meet ya in town......or we could just visit on the phone.....there is a new (pretty good too) coffee shop on main....I would love to meet up with ya and buy you a coffee and visit......Let me know and I will send ya my numbers!!! Take Care and hang in there ((((HUGS))) jesi

You are having a rough go right now. I wouldn't want to walk in your shoes, I would be so tempted to eat. I have no will power either. My Dr. didn't require the clear liquid diet ahead of time so I didn't have to work so hard. My son wasn't real excited about me having the surgery either. He kept telling me how dangerous it was and that he loved me the way I was. But when the time came for me to do it he was very supportive and came to see me in the hospital. He has been very encouraging since my surgery also. You have to do this for you, no one else can take care of you. You will be getting a whole new look on life. It is very difficult to not feel selfish we are mothers who try to fix everyone elses mistakes and problems, so when we try to fix one of ours we feel guilty. But it will be ok. You have all our prayers coming your way. Cindy G.

Okay, I'm going to be tough on you -- but this is just my feelings on this... This surgery is a life-altering process. The liquid diet is done for many reasons and you have to trust Dr. G with this. As you are losing weight and once you hopefully reach goal life is not always going to be a picnic just because you've lost the weight. There will be lots of rough spots along the way and then the desire to maintain your new healthy lifestyle. This is truly a lifestyle change and you should think long and hard if you are having this much of a problem with the liquids if you truly want to successfully change your life. Exercise is another huge commitment as far as I'm concerned because not only will it help you lose the weight, but will help you to keep it off and be healthy also. One piece of advice I've always given anyone is to have a positive attitude about this whole process. There are stumbling blocks, but you can't let them get you down. If you think this will work and you can do it, then you can. If you have problems, but pick yourself back up again and keep going then you will be successful. Please don't be upset with this post -- I believe in "tough love." This is one heck of a ride you are about to embark on, but believe me, it is so worth it if you are willing to work for it. Best of luck to you. Janie 4/14/2004 272/140

So sorry about your crappy day Terri. My doc has me on a high protein/no grain diet so I don't really know what you're going through. I am also afraid of dying and leaving my husband and son. I figure anything else I can handle. I tried to talk to my husband tonight about what to do in case things go wrong. Before my son was born and I had surgery I always had a no heroic measures order. But now that I'm a mommy I wanted to let my husband know that I want all the heroics available and then some. Unless I'm brain dead, I want to be kept hooked up to something if need be. I also wanted him to know that if the worst did happen, that I wanted my organs donated because it's not on my DL. He did NOT want to talk about any of it and kept yelling at me, but I felt it was something that needed to be said. The way I'm looking at this, this surgery is an investment in my future, and any investment with big payoffs has some element of risk to it. On the other hand, the reason I chose the bariatric center I did, was because they've never had a fatality, and less than a handful of leaks. No sense in 'investing' unwisely. And no--I don't think you're selfish for wanting this operation. Your kids love you, but they don't have to live in your body. Tell your daughter that you understand how she feels, but that you need her to support you in this. Good luck with the liquids. Sheryl