hey all, I am so bummed

Haven't posted in a long time but really need to talk to someone. I am now around 16 months out and I have only lost 90 lbs. at my highest and 60 from surgery. I don't know what to do anymore. I am now on depression meds, which I have never ever been on before. I always considered myself to be a strong woman but this is really killing me. I eat only because I have to, I no where near get in the water I should, I'm pretty sure it is a in the head thing bu****er makes me vomit all the time. I try so hard to exercise but I hurt so very bad all the time, it even makes that impossible, for the most part anyway, I am now spending alot more time in my power chair than I did even before surgery. I always said if I end up in that damn thing full time than I might as well be dead, and it's getting real close to full time now. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't sleep but maybe 2 hrs a nite, my pain meds screw my head up so bad I don't know if I'm comming or going and when that finally wears off, here comes the next dose and I'm still in pain, I take moriphine for pete sake, you would think that would help. I talk to Cheri Mcdivit alot but she has her own problems and they are redoing a house to move into. I don't want to keep whinning to her so thought maybe someone here was willing to hear me just vent and babble on, please excuse me for being such a big baby, just needed to talk. Thanks again all, your all great, yes I do read all the time I just don't post due to jealousy issues, but thanks for listening..I'm glad your feeling better Dixie, your pictures are awesome, you look great girl. :::::Tina

Hi Tina I'm sorry you are bummed. I get bummed too. I also have a problem drinking my water. It just makes me vommit. I wish I could feel better and help others too. I also wish I could give you one of my hugs. I know that would help me too. But, just picture me giving you a big hug anytime you need one. Hope things go better. Take Care Your friend, Lisa Young

WOW......sorry to hear of your troubles (((((((((BIG HUG))))))))) It is totally okay to come here and vent.....we all do it from time to time! What does Dr. G say about everything?? A lot of folks have issues with the water.......you just have to try and pu**** anyway it will go down. Can you drink warm stuff?? Make hot tea all day long and sip all day!!! Can you drink water ICE ICE cold, sometimes that makes a difference too? Can your drink flavored stuff??? Theres tons of that on the market.....walmart has their own brand like crystal light, so it is very affordable. Do you have arthritis or something??? What is the chronic pain from?? I know a lot of folks with chronic pain find great relief from the water.....your local Y I am sure has some water classes.....They are pretty affordable and offer free memberships to those who need them. Water aerobics is super easy on joints....and then to relax in the hottub afterwards might help ya! Hey and don't feel bad about needing depression meds....this is a HUGE life changing event.....a lot of folks need a little help adjusting afterwards, and thats WITHOUT problems....so I think you need to give yourself a break.....they just might help ya feel a little better Sorry if non of this helps ya....but just wanted to throw out some ideas to ya.....Your not alone...we are all hear when you need to vent.....Take Care jesi

Heya Tina...sorry to hear your not well!!!May I ask what hurts? why you have to take morpine?I am not that far out post-op and water tastes rank to me also but if I put in crystal light or a lil juice it seems to go down better..just a thought(((bighug))) you can e-mail me if ya need to (talk) I always check in the am..good luck to you keep in touch!!! Prayers heading yoour way!! Lori

Tina, I have had a slow weight loss too...so I can relate to you with how you feel, to some extent! I, like Jesi think that maybe you should be on some anti depressants ( they have been a huge help for me too.) Dont be jealous of the people on here, be happy for them...have them be an inspiration to you and try to get back on track with your water or sugarfree koolaid. I also wish I could give you a hug, and if you would like to talk or vent just email me any time. Nancy

Tina...(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) hang in there girl! I too always considered myself to be a stong person but yet was severly depressed and am now on antidepressants that are helping me alot. If what your taking isn't helping maybe you need to try something different? Also I take triazadone at night to help me sleep, it too is an antidepressant so maybe you want to check into that for sleep? I too had a hard time drinking water at first so I would mix it half and half with cranberry juice so you might try mixing your water with something to see if that helps! Just know that we are all here for you whenever you need us OK! Hugs, Janet

Tina, I had such high hopes for you last year. I know that both of us were hoping that weightloss would help with the back pain, which would help you to be able to move about enough to be able to exercise which would help you to lose more weight. Obviously, that isn't happening and I feel really sorry for you. I feel so guilty for feeling happy for myself while you are so miserable. I really wish we could figure out what can help you. Have you talked to Dr Glas**** or Angie about not being able to drink water without vomiting? Maybe there is a physical reason, not just mental. Bug them to give you relief. About the depression & taking meds, don't be down about them. They are there to help with the type of problems you are having. If the one you are using isn't doing the trick, ask your doctor to try another. I understand sometimes it takes awhile to find the right one for you. I'm sorry that I can't help you more. I wish there was more. Please don't hesitate to come here even if only to vent. We do care about you. Dixie

I think a person can get into a vicious cycle and be unable to get out. You need to find a way to get out. You seem to know what you should be doing but are unable to follow thru. Start by going to either your PCP or your WLS doc and tell them EVERYTHING! Don't hold back. You could be having problems because of the meds you take. I know since WLS meds affect me really differently. Like Dixie (I think) I take Trazadone at bedtime for sleep. It really works. I have fibro and without drugs, I don't sleep at all. Sleep may be the key here. If you can sleep, you whole outlook on life will be better. Do you have sleep apnea? If so, be sure it's being treated adequately. If it's a pain issue, see a pain doctor. There are things that can help you but you have to ask. As for the wt loss, or lack of, what are you eating? My wt loss pretty much stalled but now I'm doing South Beach and the scale is moving. Are you eating enough? Are you eating the right foods? Drinking seems to be an issue. Find something you can tolerate. Being dehydrated can also cause a lot of the problems you are having. Please, please, go see a doctor! Don't let your life slip away. You took the huge step of WLS. You didn't go thru all that to feel crummy. Take that next step and do whatever you have to in order to get healthy. You must be a strong person to have had the surgery in the first place. Dig deep and take that next step. Admit to someone who can help that you need help. The surgery fixes our tummies, but not our brains. It's up to us to do that. It's up to you to take that next step. Let tomorrow be the first day of a new, and healthier life for you. Go to the doctor! Please?

Thanks all for your support and understanding, I am on the moraphine for severe back and leg pain. I have had back surgery with no help but I am feeling better today. I do take meds for depression, it is called zyprexa, just started this one so we will see how it works. I will keep doing all i can for me. Whatever it takes. I am going to a pain doctor, he is doing a trial and error thing with the meds but right now it really screws me up bad and to top that off, I got jury duty comming up real fast here and can't get out of it. believe me i have tried and the judge says nope, so be it. I have not been back to Glas**** I just don't want to be reamed on about the weight loss going nowhere, I need to take care of this other stuff first, and the water thing, I just keep trying, it's all i can do. Dixie- you have worked so hard for where you are today and you have every right to be proud of yourself and maybe someday i will as well, you never know. Anyway, thank you to all of you who took time out of your day to help a lonely ole' pitiful woman feel a bit better. Thanks again.

Tina, Don't be afraid to go back. Last year we heard of people getting scolded but it was for not following directions, not for not losing due to troubles you can't control. I think they have become even more understanding lately. I do know that they have rethought the whole goal weight thing because they realized everyone reacts differently to the WLS & some people lose very slowly. I will not make it to the goal they had set for me. It's just not going to happen and they are not blaming me. You have a good reason for not exercising. They will understand that. He's the best to deal with your not being able to tolerate water well. Please see him. My prayers are with you. Dixie