Going to confront demons

I went to my internist last week for fatigue. She did all the necessary labs and everything was okay. She asked if I was depressed. I told her I didn't think so. She wants me to see a psychologist to explore that possibility. At the very least, I need to work on some food issues that I've had for a very long time. It's a little frightening. I told my hubby about it on the way to the fair. When we got there I wanted a deep-fried Twinkie. I know, not a good choice, but it's not like I eat Twinkies all the time. Can't even remember when I had the last one. Anyway, he made some comment about "isn't that why you're going to see a shrink?" I felt like decking him right there on the Grand Concourse. I just don't get him at times. He can be so sweet and good most of the time and so totally stupid at others. I know, he's a man and I should expect it, right? I don't know if he feels threatened by my wt loss or what. I guess that's something to explore also. I think I know the reasons behind my eating but really don't have a clue on how to fix it. I'm pretty sure that's why I can't lose those last few pounds. All along, I've been thinking that if I could only lose wt, I'd be happy. I think now that I'm almost there, I've realized that I still won't be happy and therefore, won't lose those last few pounds. You know, ostrich syndrome. If I don't get to my goal, I won't have to confront the fact that I'm not happy and have to deal with it. Who needs a shrink, right??? So tomorrow I make an appointment and a new journey begins. Lyn

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers Lyn...I hope everything works out for ya just fine lori today is the day!!!

At least your committing to it! I have always been on antidepressants of some sort....and I used to work closely with a shrink......I liked her a lot and she helped me a lot......well she moved and I never found another one that I liked......so I haven't been back.....tho I do stay on the anitdepressants from my PCP.........Well within the last two months or so I have been having your exact same thoughts (except not fried twinkies ) but why can't I just quit eating the crap and lose these last few pounds, why does food have to control me, and stuff like that. And then of course because of my discontent or whatever, I have less patience for the kids and hubby.....well I told my PCP I need to go back to the shrink.....he told me great......I told him I liked no-one at practice XXX so he reffered me to another one.....well long story short, I have cancelled the appt three different times.....I need to just reschedule it for good this time!!!!! Let's start the journey together, I will reschedule my appt again today! Take Care and Good luck Jesi P.S. I have to know.....did you get the damn twinkie just to spite hubby for the rude comment???

No, I did not get my twinkie! The line was about 5 miles long. I didn't have the patience to stand there forever. I guess I didn't want the twinkie that much. I made my appointment today for Wed afternoon. The MD I was supposed to see isn't taking new patients. The other one is a man. So since I don't think at this point I need drugs, I elected to see one of the female psychologists. For some reason, I just don't think a man would "get" it, if you know what I mean. I hope you made your appointment Jesi! Judging the responses I've gotten, I'd say I'm not alone in dealing with this. Why don't these doctors who perform this surgery, make dealing with these issues part of the program?? I would think that they want us all to succeed on a long term basis but many of us may fail because we don't fix what's really wrong. I'll try to update my profile with this journey. I'll try to do better with this than I did with the WLS part. I think this is almost more important than the surgery itself.

I called, but since it was Monday they must have been busy or something....they took my name and number and were going to call me back later in the day......they never called back But I am going to do this.....so I will be calling them back first thing this morning! I hope I can get in as quick as you did!!!! I will keep ya updated......Have a great day jesi

Speaking of the fair.... I am scheduled to have surgery on the 12th of September and fried twinkies, corn dogs, pizza, fried chicken, onion rings, steak, choc turtles, cake batter cookie dough are my complete weakness. I am so scared that I won't be able to beat my cravings. I too take lexapro and for the most part think it does okay however I am concerned about the happiness piece. Good luck to you and Jesi. Jenny

Lyn, Hi from someone who is "shruck" on an every other week basis. I go tomorrow, by the way. I just unloaded on poor Jesi this morning and should have saved it for the shrink. I, too, am feeling out of control and don't like myself right now. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Good luck to you! God bless, Andrea

Good luck at your appointment, Lyn! I am not depressed and never thought I needed to see a shrink but it has actually been a good thing for me. I dont go every week but every 2-4 weeks and wont actually be seeing her again until my surgery is scheduled but it is just kinda good to know she is there. More than anything she helps me see where my thinking is messed up from years of forming bad thoughts about food and eating and weight. I also know that she has worked with a lot of people after WLS because so many people experience the very thing you described. Best wishes to you! And on a totally separate note- deep fried twinkie. IS that a real thing?? It sounds kinda yucky??? -Nan

Yup, deep fried twinkies! Also deep fried candy bars! It sounded really good yesterday, but not today. I'd really rather have my twinkie frozen. They don't get really hard, just really cold. Yum. This year they even have deep fried hot dogs, like there isn't enough grease in a hot dog! I think almost anything you can think of is deep fried at the fair or "on a stick"! We ended up buying a bottle of water and that was it. But I was out of sorts cuz I didn't get my twinkie!