a brief mind game?

Hi all I don't know if I have a question, or just need to talk about this or what. I am a little confused. Maybe I am just 'hormonal'. I went out to Famous Daves with my family for supper. If you have never been there, just imagine an entire side of beef on your plate. I have been out to eat several times since WLS and have never encountered what I did tonight. I did not order off the kids menu (nor have I ever tried to). I ordered rib tips and brisket, without the BBQ sauce. The meat they pile on 3 slices of texas toast (which I didn't know, and of course didn't eat). It comes with a cornbread muffin and a 1/2 ear of corn, and a choice of 2 sides. I chose baked beans and fries. Now, I know that is a LOT of food. But it was my reaction that I had when she sat it down in front of me that I am not understanding. I almost cried, but I haven't figured out why. I was a huge mix of emotions. I was sad, ashamed, embarassed, mad, I don't know what all. And I know it showed on my face, because my brother asked me if I was all right. Of course I slapped a smile on my face and said yes. The waitress, who was a peach, mentioned that I was overwhelmed. OHHH if she only knew!!!. I gave my ear of corn to my neice and just nibbled the muffin. I ate some of the beans, cautiously. I ate one fry. The rib tips and the brisket were devine. Moist and tender. I ate more than I thought I would be able too (but still not very much!!) And I did so without drinking (which has been an issue for me). Of course I brought home the leftover meat (and I confess, the rest of the muffin ). Not sure where all the emotion came from, as I have had such positive experiences previously. I do know that I didn't like it. Thanks for listening to my babble....... Sheila

Morning Sheila I was at Famous Dave's last month & was overwhelmed with the amount of food served, it was my first time there so had no idea what to expect! OMG the portions are unreal! I had ribs with corn, garlic potatoes, muffin. I nibbled mostly on the meat & took a little of everything else on my plate. looked like I hadn't even touched any of the food. I think what is so overwhelming is the fact we USE to eat that much at a setting now we can't. Favorite saying of my dad's when we would overfill our plates our eyes are bigger than our stomachs. Use the phrase all the time now. I also "doggy bagged" the rest of my food. The BBQ sauce didn't bother as I crave some of that stuff! Shame on me. I think this is a pretty normal reaction when we go out to eat. Few weeks ago I went to Rochester with a friend & her bf & we ate at the Outback. Even ordering from the kids meal it was way to much to eat. First night I ordered ribs, but didn't like them nearly as well as Dave's. The following night was steak from the kids menu & it was enough for 3 meals! Just shows how the kids are getting way to much to eat also! Hugs Carolyn

I think what you experienced is completely within the range of normal. Food *used* to be such an integral part of our lives. We lived for food, we lived to eat (rather than eat to live). Food was your celebration, your recreation, your comfort, the balm to heal your wounds (both emotional and physical). It was EVERYTHING to us. Now it's not. But life goes on, and the further out from surgery we go, the more normal activities we participate in, like eating out. And I think it is easy to forget about the changes we have experienced in our lives now, due to the surgery. The mind is a very powerful thing. We look on the menu and think about all the stuff we would love to try. I know for me anyway, we order what we "think" is a good choice. Then when it comes, we freak. I know just a couple weeks ago at Perkins, I thought I was ordering just a ham steak and eggs plate. I knew I'd be taking most of that ham home, but what I did not realize that along with that HUGE plate of food, would also come a HUGE plate of PANCAKES!!!! OH MY GOSH, I love pancakes. I almost started crying when it came to me. Crying because I felt like such an idiot ordering such ridiculously large breakfast, and crying because I wanted to eat those damn pancakes. It all seemed like such a huge waste. And feeding all my leftovers to my kids at the restaurant is not a good choice. Do I want them to get fat? Heck no. So it has been a huge struggle for me too, to reframe my mind and order more appropriately. I am still no where there yet. It is hard for me to come away from a restaurant and feel OK with how I did. Although I talked on here last week about my good Red Lobster experience. That was truly a triumph for me on many levels. I have been thinking that for me, it would be smart to work on trying to order just an appetizer selection. That is more than enough food for me. That, and maybe a salad. I want to feel good about restaurants, and it is a long haul. I still feel like this hugely fat person trying to live the life I used to live. Some habits die hard, I guess. In every day life I don't feel so much that way, but going out to eat -- Oh yeah, I feel like I revert to my old habits in a snap. I end up bringing home most of the meal, but I also come away feeling dumb. Like, why the hell did I do that? What kind of dummy with a stomach the size of your thumb orders PANCAKES????? What was I thinking???? Just hang in there. I think everything you experienced is par for the course. jean

Sheila....I've done this. I think I was so overwhelmed by the food and the taste is so good that you just get upset because you know you have this stopping point and if you don't stop...you're in trouble! I drink with my meals too and it's a big no-no. I think that we just see everyone around us stuffing themselves until they're gonna blow and we miss it at times. ONLY at times though!!! Because I have sat there and not been able to believe how much everyone else just ate! I am amazed at how much I used to eat. It's disgusting. I was very depressed right after surgery. For some reason I just didn't think that I was ever going to feel like I did. In some cases I was right. I have not been hungry for 3 and a half months. Almost 4 now. I have lost over 70 pounds. I'm healthier but I think I could be doing better. I feel for you...thanks for sharing with us. Hugs, Jen

I haven't experienced what you did but dining out has become an interesting challenge. Most of the time I order an appetizer and it's still too much. We go to Okoboji Grill once a month after the last dog obedience class is over for the session. I order chicken quesadilla from the appetizer menu and split it with at least one other person. And it's still too much. I love ribs. I had the best ones in Jesi's hometown at the Bricktown Bar and Grill. They were sooooo good. My hubby ordered them and I shared with him. The waiter was going to charge me for splitting the order but then I could have salad and potatoes. I told him I didn't want salad or potatoes so he just didn't tell anyone. As far as body image goes, my surgeon says that it takes about 2 years for your mind to catch up to your body. He says he finally sees a skinny old man in the mirror now. He's had the surgery also. He's pretty funny. I know at 14 months, I'm having more mental problems that I did in the first few months. I guess the honeymoon is over and now I have to deal with the eating issues. Yesterday I did better tho. Today so far hasn't been to bad except for a Panara bagel. It was so good and I ate the whole thing! Bad Lyn. Birthday treats. Have a good day and enjoy the beautiful weather!