Stressed??? DONT DO THIS!!!

I am almost 19 months out......I SHOULD SO know better.......But well I don't!!! The last couple days I have been super stressed....lots of stuff going on and no time for myself.......antidepressants really aren't working....TO make a long story short I have been feeding myself the last couple days in trying to feel better!!!! I still have MAJOR issues with food and emotional eating.....I ALWAYS WILL!!!!! When I am in a pissy mood, I make everyone around me miserable and I eat......I obviously can't eat like before, thats a given but it is still pretty bad. I hate feeling like this! I made an appt with my doctor to get my meds checked and can't get in until MONDAY.....But tonight was icing on the cake.....went to Menards with hubby.....we get in a big ole' fight.....I buy a bag of peanut butter M&M's.....I start snacking on them on the way home while informing him I was not going to cook.....he could do it.....Well my hubby DOES NOT cook, so he suggested Carlos O' Kellys.....they have kids eat free thing on Tuesday nights.....and sometimes he reverts to old ways of making me feel better with food.......so again I am all pissy....(my poor girls ) so first thing first.....I order a margarita......after peanutbutter m&ms and a couple chugs of margarita......I was about ready to pass out under the damn table.....I was sweaty, dizzy and hotter than h*ll........had to put my legs up on the other side and lay on my hubbys shoulder.....the nice waitress asked if I was okay and I told her I was just sick to my stomach....she brought me tums from her purse (I did leave her a big tip) rushed my family into finishing their plates as I sat there miserable....made it home to and it wasn't little it was stuff coming out of my nose I haven't done that since highschool binge drinking days!!!!! So to make a bad day worse......thats what happened....I need to learn how to cope better.....I have done counseling and they say I am great.....they must be I think tonight I have learned my lesson.......I am going to detox my body the next few days of all the crap I have eaten and concentrate on keeping my cool with kids and hubby....I hate feeling this way!!! Any and all suggestions are welcome Take Care Jesi

Jeez, Jesi, are you reading my mind? What is wrong with us???? I am feeling the same way. I'd like to choke my husband. You would think that a guy could give a compliment once in a while. But no. Nothing. Saturday I came downstairs ready to go for a bike ride. Had on a gray tee shirt with a flag on it. About 5 sizes too big. He complimented me on the tee shirt. I was speechless. Later I was all gussied up to go to a wedding in a new dress and I thought I looked pretty damn good. Did he compliment me? NO! Talk about pissy. I don't know if he doesn't because he feels threatened, which he has no reason to be or what. But you know, I really need to hear nice things once in a while. He's such a good guy in so many ways but very unemotional. I told him that's why I shop - to get even for the emotional distance. I know he loves me but a girl likes to hear it, ya know? I've been on a feeding frenzy lately. I'm not sure why. Just like old times only not as much. I'm seriously thinking about seeing someone about these food issues I'm having. I'm going to detox right along with you this week. Starting tomorrow morning, no more junk. Just because I haven't dumped doesn't mean I won't if I do something like you did, right? Back to basics. Protein, fluids, exercise. Damn these food demons! I wonder if it has to do with us being so close to goal, but not there. It's frustrating. I feel like I'm sabatoging myself. Almost as if I'm saying, "see, I told you this wouldn't work - I can't get to goal." Maybe I've been telling myself that when I get to goal, I will be happy. But now that I'm close, I realize I'm still not going to be happy, and that there are other issues other than weight. Gee, maybe I don't need a shrink, I just need to talk to you? Okay, board family, I think Jesi and I need a couple kicks in the butts and a ton of support. We're struggling here!

Lyn, I just want to say that your new picture is awsome. You look incredible. jean

Jesi- The important thing is that you *recognize* that you are stressed and falling back on old habits, which means you can and will *correct* the situation. I believe you can do it!!! I agree with you that adjusting your meds will probably help. Are you still going to counseling? If not, maybe make an appointment this week just to blow off some WLS steam. Every little bit helps. I have an appointment tomorrow with the same doc who did my psych eval. I figure that it can only help. I know that I will still have major food issues after surgery, so I may as well try and figure out how to deal with them now. And I am also considering going on an antidepressant after surgery. I always seem to need them when going through really stressful periods in my life, but I haven't found one yet that *really* works. Good luck dear!! You can do it!! Just look how far you have already come!! (((((HUGS))))) Katie

Hiya Jesi....Hang in there gf! I know exactly what your going through and its no fun. I too have had BIG issues with eating everything I can fit into my mouth! Do get your meds checked, maybe its time to change? Don't ya just hate it when a Dr. tells ya that your doing great by looking at ya, they don't realize that its not how we look, its how we feel and think. Anyway gf your in my thoughts and Im here for ya.... Hugs, Janet

HEYA JESI!!! ((((((HUGS))))))) hang in there!! Lori