A Wakeup call

Hi everyone, Yesterday I read something in a gal's profile that really hit home with me. I've read it several times since finding it & plan to print it out so it's right there when I need to be reminded to get back on track. Here is what she wrote. Maybe it will help you too. Warning, she doesn't hold back! "There's noooooooooooooo crying in baseball.....!!!!!!" That's the sentiment (scenario) that comes to mind sometimes when I hear some of the comments from people who've already had the surgery. In case you haven't made the connection, that's a line Tom Hanks made famous in the movie "A League Of Their Own." Resorting to tears or just giving up every time the going gets tough is NOT going to make you successful or keep you healthy. I see so much whining sometimes that it's hard to decipher the kids from the adults. ENOUGH already, it's time to get "TOUGH" on YOURSELF!!! First and foremost, you have to keep it POSITIVE. As with everything in life, if you think you can't - you WON'T! Simple enough? I have to wonder when "we" (as adults) finally take ownership for our actions, our life and our health? We have been given a gift, a second chance to actually LIVE life again instead of merely existing in it. It's up to each of us to do that as healthy and productively as possible. We're ALL statistics waiting to happen and the insurance companies are chomping at the bit. The bean counters are eager to drop Weight Loss Surgery ("WLS") from the policies; some already have. Don't you know that any negative feedback thrown into the mix only strengthens their cause? I may not be able to control every thing that happens to my body after WLS, but most things I can. I CHOOSE to take control and I will be a positive statistic when the numbers get counted. We live in a spoiled society, expecting everything in life to come with a buncha really cool choices. Well, guess what? When it comes to your health, you're not always going to get a choice. You either DO IT and stay healthy, or you DON'T and your body pays the price. The way I saw it, I had a 90 day healing and adjusting period after surgery. My 'super morbidly obese' body had more then enough stores to survive the learning curve. In turn, it gave me plenty of time to heal, adjust and learn. For those of you OVER 90 day's Post-Op, the probation period is over - its time to get serious and LIVE what you've learned. ~*~ You say you can't get in enough liquids through out the day, don't like the taste of water, or just keep forgetting? -- TOUGH! It's not an option anymore. Find a way to do it, get suggestions and tips from others in support groups, message boards, etc. Read, learn and JUST DO IT!! Why do you think there is a choice here? ~*~ You say you don't like the big horse pill type vitamins, or the tart chalky chewables? ...it's, just too many to bother with? Or maybe you just can't remember to take them? -- TOUGH! You gave up the option NOT to take vitamins when you agreed to have your insides rerouted. FIND a way to get them in; crushed, minced, chopped, liquified, in a shake, etc. No exceptions, your health depends on it. ~*~ Protein is a must. So you can't get it all in via foods and you don't like the way the shakes taste? -- TOUGH! Either get it through your meals (and there are a gazillion food choices out there) or supplement it with protein shakes and bars. Trust me, I don't drink my protein shake every morning because I think it tastes like a chocolate blizzard from Dairy Queen. I've tried many varieties over the last 2 years. I'd even venture to say 25 of the top sellers/flavors have crossed my lips. For the record? I've yet to find one that is as 'delicious' as boasted by the distributor. So what!!!! I still drink one every morning. My HEALTH dictates that I need "X" grams of protein per day. If I'm not getting enough from my meals then I supplement a shake. 'Nuff said!!! I've actually walked the walk and reached my goal. Yep, I've stumbled a few times with my food choices and you know what? I'll trip a few more times. BUT, some things I will never fail at -- Vitamins, H20 and Protein. This surgery is a gift, I owe it to me and everyone else fighting the approval process, to do it right! I will continue to choke down my vitamins, my water and my protein every single day, for the REST OF MY LIFE. Some days will be easier then others, regardless, no days will be missed. It's all about discipline. Create a routine, set a timer, develop a pattern, tie a string around your finger, glue a note to your forehead, whatever it takes. You're an adult - take responsibility! If this surgery doesn't slap a back bone into you, not much will. Leilani ~*~ [revised 1/6/2005] Dixie

Dixie, Bravo!! for putting this out there (thanks to Leilani too ). I am still pre-op so I won't pretend to know what anyone is going through but I, too, see lots of whining about the vitamins, protein and water consumption etc. and wonder what everyone thought it was going to be like. Did they think it wouldn't happen to THEM? I've been researching this for months and reading tons of forum messages and I am totally prepared to have lots of pain and nausea after surgery (doesn't mean I'll like it or even that I won't cry over it) and I know that I'm not going to WANT to drink tons of water but I will. I already know what protein shakes taste like (she's right, they don't taste like ice cream) but I drink them because they are good for me and I'm well aware that after the surgery, they might taste worse because my tastes might change. I've asked questions here and commented on other posts and appreciated all the great support and advice given here. Funny, when I went to my info seminar at Sartori, I wanted to just stand up and tell everyone that they NEEDED to come to Obesity.com and learn EVERYTHING they could about the surgery before they have it. There are enough people here who talk about the good, the bad and the ugly of WLS to give you the reality of it. I think it's good that people talk about their experiences, both the good and the bad but I don't think it's at all constructive to whine about things they knew about before they started this journey. Hopefully Leilani's words will sink in for the preops out there so they can go to the other side with a positive attitude and the fortitude to go through the bad times to be finally healthy and happy about who they are. Leslie

Amen! I'm going to print this out and put it where I can see it every day. I always did like Leilani's posts - she has *****!! Don't visit the main board anymore -- guess I'll have to start!! I'm looking for a kickstart, maybe this is what I needed. Janie

Ok, I understand what Leilani is saying, but, I don't consider it whining when someone comes to this site and says, I am having trouble with the protein and vitimans and whatever else, I consider it to be wanting knowledge to certain situations. I think when someone asks about how to do these things they are wanting to do it the right way, after all, who in the hell wants to fail this new life, not me, I have had a terrible time with alot things with this surgery but if I ask you all questions, I sure don't consider it whining, I never been threw this kind of thing before and yes, I get scared, and yes I get frustrated and yes, there are times I wish to hell I never did this. But to say, tough, just do it, well for me, and I am not speaking for anyone but me, I's not that simple to say just do it, I have a terrible back problem which limits my exercise to almost nothing but do I keep trying to exercise, even though I know the pain it will cause, yes I sure do, but Dixie, when I emailed you, I wasn't whining, I wanted your opinion and I believe thats what all who are (quote) whining wants, they want to do this thing right and not fail, people are asking for everyones knowledge, I mean after all this is new to us all and the most info we can get and absorb the better chance of not failing, so I don't think the phrase "just do it" applies to everyone, we all need a little help now and then and if asking for it is whining, well then, I guess I am guilty. Thanks all for listening to me whine.~~~~Tina

Alright, Tina, if you check back, you'll see that I said I felt it hit home for ME & that I saved it so that I will be reminded when I need to get back on track. I knew that others would find it helpful to them also. Never did I point my finger at anyone else, especially you. And, nowhere in our personal correspondence did I ever accuse you of whining. I whine! Well, maybe not out loud but I do whine to myself ocassionally. There are some days when the last thing I want to do is take my vitamins or eat protein or exercise. I need to remind myself that I need to "JUST DO IT!" We have no choice. If you or anyone else, took it personally, I apologise. It was not meant that way. However, I have to also support Leilani. Spend some time on the general message board. I haven't seen it as much here but it's nothing unusual to see someone saying "I don't like water anymore" or "I'm tired of eating protein." or "I hate to exercise." That is whining & that is what she is referring to. She is saying, "You chose to have this surgery & there are lifestyle changes that go hand in hand with it whether you like it or not. Just do it!." I honestly do belive that most people who come to these boards with problems are doing it for advice & everyone is willing to share what they know. It is that person's responsibility to either take that advice or not. Personally I believe the best advice we can give if someone is having problems, much like the ones you have, is to talk to the surgeon or another doctor. What sometimes makes me a bit upset is when that advice is given but the person instead chooses to ignore it & the problem gets worse. Dixie

I don't think anyone meant to offend anyone. I think that Dixie was just agreeing with Leilani's post in trying to empower everyone who has the benefit of this tool to accept that it's not going to be easy and try to be committed to doing it right even when it's not comfortable or tasty. Asking questions and asking for advice is not whining but just stating flat out that you CAN'T get any more water or protein in or saying that you hate plain water so you can't do it is whining. Doesn't everyone know when they have this surgery that they are going to have to drink lots of water? Didn't their surgeons and nutritionists explain to them that is the deal they make when they are approved that they will do everything in their power to comply with the surgeon's rules. Again, I'm not professing to know what you are going through but I've put a lot of time and energy into researching this surgery (too bad all this effort doesn't burn many calories) so I know that I will do what my surgeon tells me, like it or not. Keep asking questions and talking about your problems so the rest of us preops can learn more, just don't say "I can't". because if you can't, I might start thinking I can't either. Leslie

Thank you , Leslie, for understanding. You've got it! I have an idea that when your time comes, you will be the model patient. Your research will be invaluable when the time comes & if something you are not prepared for happens, that's what we're here for. I remember that when I went to see Dr Glas**** for my first appointent he explained the program to me & what he could do for me. Then he told me what my responsibilites would be- taking my vitamins daily, drinking lots of water, eating the right foods, exercising daily. Then he stopped & asked me if I was willing to do that because if I wasn't, he wasn't going to waste his time & expertise on me. I had to actually say, "I will do it" before he would continue on. I think of that when I think I don't want to eat what I should or exercise. That is why everyday I follow his program and that is why I am succeeding. And I have an idea, so will you. Dixie

Morning Dixie, Thanks for posting To me there isn't the whining on this board but on the Main Board that's a whole different world! For the most part I don't even go there anymore, sometimes it's just toooooooo depressing! I whine about me, especially this week when trying to figure out WHY did I gain 3 lbs???? Since I'm walking more maybe that's some of it? WLS is one of the biggest decisions I have ever made in my life with no regrets. I knew in the beginning about the water, protein, exercise. In the beginning exercise was almost next to nothing as I couldn't do it. Now it's easier. My kids have moved into a 2 story house so chasing kids up & down stairs has added to the exercise also! I also think she was trying to say this is not a magical cure you have to work at losing weight, it will not happen by itself. We have to take responsibilty for our own actions. Thanks again for the posting Hugs Carolyn

Wow, I didn't realize my response was going to upset people, I read, re-read and read again Leilanis post and yes, she is right and so are you Dixie, I printed her post out and it now hangs on my bathroom mirror where I see it many times a day. Dixie, you have been so helpful to me and please accept my apoligy if I upset you. I guess when I first read her post I got a bit pissed off because for me, it has not been easy in any way, I do take your advice as well Dixie, I am on new pain meds but it is making me unable to function for the most part of the day but here again, I know I must keep trying, trial and error so to speak, and she is right, I do need to take responsibilty for what I do, and I do, it's just sometimes I need a bit of help and thats where you all come in. I don't post much anymore because I get so depressed that people are doing so well and losing so much weight and here I sit with the will and the want to and then I get so angry when I do exercise that for the next 4 days I am in my damn wheelchair just to move from room to room, Ya know, I think I expected to much from this surgery, I did think my back would be better but it's not and am told it never would be, for me that was so hard to hear, I have always taken my vitimans without fail and I do my best with the protein and I have done to the letter what Dr. G. told me to do, EXCEPT the exercise thing, but even then I try my best. So pease everyone, if I pissed anyone off, I am sorry, just ran my mouth before I really read it the way it should have been read. My weight loss hasn't been good, at my highest it's been 90 lbs. and sinse surgery, around 70, I know for a fact I couldn't have lost that much without Dr. G's help thats for sure, I thank god everyday for this second chance at life and I also know that if I fail it will be by my hand and no-one elses but hey, failing is not in my vocabulary so I just keep plugging away and I know for me, it will just take a bit longer. Thanks all for your help and advise and a special thanks to Dixie, Cheri, and Elizabeth and everyone else who makes it a bit easier for me to cope and if ever I do whine, which I most likely will, I hope you all will continue to help me threw it and be my friends. Thanks all.~~~~Tina

Hugs to you, Tina. We're good! I don't think you upset anyone. We don't know what everyone else is going through and it is so easy to take things personally especially when you aren't feeling good. You are doing everything you can to help yourself. Your body just isn't helping you. Keep up the good work. You have gotten this far by following the rules. Also know that you are not alone. There are others who for some reason, not in their power, who are losing slowly. It has got to be very frustrating, I know. Dixie