I have failed

After losing 175 lbs. the first 8 months, I have gained back 45 lbs. I still eat a ton of food; just tonight I ate a whole bag of oreo cookies, didn't feel real full. I can't eat any meat any more, it just hits my stomach like a rock and feels horrible; beef, chicken, fish, pork. The only thing that tastes good are soft, mushy stuff, and that is cookies, cakes, pies, sweets, etc. I loathe drinking water and other liquids anymore. A few months ago, I was eating quite well, and exercising alot, and still no weight loss. That's when I knew my weight loss was done for. So, my body has won. I am still a fat slob, depressed, and wish I had never had this surgery in August 2003. Sorry to bring the message board down so much, but I just had to rant because I give up. I don't know what else to do.

James, I don't know what else to tell you except that you are NOT ALONE! I had surgery 10/03 and have lost 75 lbs. Gaining a few here and there. PLEASE, feel free to email me, maybe we can think of something together. (((HUGS))) Elizabeth PS to the rest of the people on the message board, that is why you don't hear from me much, you are all doing so well, and once again, I am a failure.

Elizabeth, NEVER consider yourself a failure!! 75 lbs is a big accomplishment! Miss seeing you here please come back Hugs Carolyn

((((((((((Elizabeth)))))))))) You have never been, nor ever will be, a failure! That negativity needs to leave your mind...because, that's the ONLY place that it is located. Anyone who thinks you are a failure has never had their heart, or life, touched by you. Life has a vicious cycle at times...while you *may* see yourself as a failure, I see you as my hero and mentor. While I have done OK with my weight loss, I see myself as a failure as a mother, wife, friend, monetary provider, etc. Which do you see as the worse thing? I believe that my failures are MUCH worse than you can ever imagine yours being. You have always been there for me; PLEASE let us be there for you. I miss you...and, I know that I am not alone when I say that. HUGE (((HUGS))) & healing thoughts being sent your way!! ~~Sherry E.D.D. of Child #2~~11/11/05

I really hope that this is just a small set back for you & that you will be able to get back on the right track. My weight has been up & down also & it is depressing but I'm determined not to let my old ways take over. Is there a support group you can go to? Or possibly a dr? Please feel free to email me any time. Hugs Carolyn

James: You HAVE NOT FAILED !!!!! You still have a loss of 130 lbs!! When you weren't losing, it was probably a plateau. Please don't give up !!! You have the tool, you just need to use it once again !! If regular water isn't working, how about flavored water, or crystal lite, ice tea etc ? Could you try some alternate protein choices ? How about lowfat cheeses, cottage cheese, eggs, beans ? Maybe even using some protein shakes again, would help you? You said you were exercising regularly before, please start right away, it really makes a difference !! I am 13 months out, and I can eat much more than I could a year ago. I don't dump on sweets either. It is hard, but think of all you went through with the surgery!! Try to eat three meals a day, and limit snacking to one or two planned healthy snacks, such as yougurt, fruit ect. Try to eat protein and vegies, then maybe some fresh fruit, avoid the carbs. Also, if you feel like you're eating much larger amounts, see your surgeon ASAP !!! You may need to be checked for a staple line disruption if you're not transected!!! Good luck, and keep us all posted !!! PS you've come too far, to give up!!!! DeeAnn R

Oh James, please don't feel that way. I have to ask if you have access to a psychologist or counselor or other support system that is close to you? I know that I struggle with some of those old eating habits often and have to see someone to keep those in check and to get ideas of how to work through those issues. It hasn't worked this week, because I'm up a few pounds, but I will get right back on the wagon and keep working again. At least for me, I know that I have an addictive personality. I am addicted to food and lean on it as a crutch. Still trying to figure out, though, when I use it to make me feel better, why and what to do instead. I gave up smoking and most foods, so what's left, I ask? My hubby has some ideas, but my toddler thinks otherwise ! The goal is to figure out how to control those addictions. I actually think that I'm addicted to working out at the gym now. Not a bad trade-off. You have done what works. You know you can be successful! We have faith in you! Please contact someone to get some help - even your surgeon's office should be able to firstly check your pouch and be sure all is right with it and then to refer you on to get some assistance. Whatever you do, don't give up. Remember, we're here for you! God bless, Andrea

I think that we all here know what we do wrong, and that we cant help ourselves. James, dont give up...look you are still down 100 pounds. You know how much i would give to do that? I am currently 130 pounds over my ideal weight. And look at what you have accomplished thus far. WE all tend to get off track, we just need help putting ourselves back on. I agree with Andrea, go see a counselor and see what is bothering you. There must be an undergrowing source of your weight gain. I know that you are depressed, and believe you me, i feel for you. It is not easy going threw life bigger than your peers...but dont give up, look at what you have gone threw to lose this weight, you must be just as committed as the day you started. You will be able to lose again, have faith...and put those cookies down, fight the addiction! I know it is hard to do when you see the scale go up, but keep fighting. WE all will root for you cause we know that you can do it. You have the tools to lose weight, now it is time to use them. Dont be discouraged. To your health becka

Thank you to everyone who have posted replies. I'm glad I could vent a little of my frustration. I guess my biggest frustration is that I have ALOT of loose skin on my abdomen, and I need to get to a certain weight to have abdominoplasty done, and I want to get rid of that excess skin so bad. One thing I have noticed is that even though I have gained these extra pounds, I haven't noticed my clothes feeling tighter, which is weird.

Another thing to try.....I too deal with the carb is to cut out carbs completely for a couple days......it is WAY HARD....but when you eat them you crave them more and more and eat more and more......I do my best when I truly stay away from them...,......it is hard but you are worth the fight.......give up all carbs for like 3-4 days and I bet you will be eating a lot less and feeling a lot better!!!! There are other ways of getting protein than tough meats too.........good luck and hang in there!! jesi