Relationship have they changed with weight loss????

I had surgery in 2003 and my friend came and helped me during my recovery. She has always known me fat. We have been the best of friends for the past 14 years but haven't lived in the same state for about the last ten years. At first she was interested in my weight loss and recovery but I notice she wanted to know less as I have gotten smaller. I have noticed she is more distant than before. I don't talk about my weight loss because I am worried she doesn't want to hear about it. I am worried that my weight loss has effected our friendship. I have plans to visit in April. What do you think? How have your relationships changed?

I could have written the same exact paragraph......At first it was exciting and talked about.....now they could care less and do seem more distant! We were always fat friends that ate together and drank together....it is hard.....But I would rather be healthy and happy!! They will either come around, or they won't.....but if they are true friends they should be happy for you no matter what!!! Good luck, we are all learning together! Jesi

I am so scared that this is going to happen to me as well. I don't know how they're going to change yet as I haven't had surgery - YET. I'm emphasizing YET! But I have thought about this. I have had a few conversations with my best friend, my husband and my boss about how things may be different afterwards. My biggest thing is that I don't want to change!!! Heck, I've spent the last 29 years brushing up on who I am today and I gotta say, I'm alright! So heaven forbid that I start to get an attitude or become snobby because I'll be thin. Talk to your friend. Tell her how you feel right away and try to get a feel for what she's going through. If you go to her, she may open up easier. Is she large or smaller? That may make a difference as well. If she's bigger than I suggest getting on a plan TOGETHER so she can sort of compete with you. She may feel better. That's what my best friend and I are going to do. I have to motivate her to not eat as much and she has the role of making sure I'm motivated to be active. Hopefully it works wonderfully. Keep me posted on what's going on and I'll try to help as much as I can. Hugs, Jen

I have been fortunate in that I have not run into this at all. I have not lost any friends. However, I can understand how some, who are obese & not willing to take the step you did, may become jealous & would back off. In that case it's their problem, not yours. The other thing I noticed is that I have changed. I am more compassionate to people who have weight problems. I was surprised how negatively I used to react to obesity, probably I was just showing my own self-loathing. If I hated myself for being fat , how could I not dislike others who were. Now I feel compassion to those who are killing themselves the way I was. I no longer judge them the way I used to do. I remember the way strangers treated me. Jen, I doubt very much if you will get snooty. I think you will also change the way I did. Dixie

That makes me feel better - thanks Dixie! if I do get snooty, y'all need to be slapping me around!!! jen

Morning Lisa, I think sometimes our friends get tired of hearing about how well we are doing! It's like a rub to them especially if they are dieting & trying to lose weight themselves. My best friend has always known me as fat also, she lives 30 minutes away. She's the kind that looks at food & gains. I was also afraid that my weight loss would effect our relationship but it hasn't. If anything I'm happier than what I have been in years. By the way we've been best friends for over 40 yrs! Could be your friend is "scared" of the "new" you. Go for your visit & be you, bet once she sees you & finds out you are still the same person on the inside everything will be fine. Good Luck Carolyn

Lisa, I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Have you tried to talk to her about it? Tell her that you feel more distant from her and that you hope your weight loss hasn't affected your relationship because you still feel as close to her as you were before your physical body changed. As for my relationships - I guess that it's been easier because my sisters and my husband are my best friends. I think that my sisters have been a little jealous sometimes, but they have not told me that. I look at them as people still and didn't even realize when I offered them size 18 clothes that that size would not fit either of them. They all continue to support me well. Then there's the new relationships that I have formed because of this surgery. I consider Jesi as a best friend - she rates right up there with my sisters - and I get so much support from her! It's scary the things that we have in common - right down to the dishes that I just bought - or that she bought for me and delivered that same night!!! So many others on here have been wonderful and I consider friends. (Thanks to you all for that!) Hopefully, if you talk to your friend, you will be able to get back to that special closeness that we all long for with our friends. Good luck and God bless, Andrea