Sigh........

my past few weeks have been like weeks from hell. I don't even know why.......just a TON of stress it seems from work. Nothing is good enough, things change on a minute -to-minute basis, and I feel so out of the loop if I am not right on top of everything. One of the other supervisors I work with is driving me freaking CRAZY. I was having a me moment last night, the stapler was out of staples...no one EVER thinks to refill it, they just use another one so when you go to use it...well you can see...so, I threw it on the floor, as well as papers I wasn't using because as usual the day shift left the garbage full to overfull...she came up started clucking her tongue at me and PICKED up my mess! Yes, I know how stupid this sounds, but damn it, it was MY MESS! I would have picked it up when I was good and ready. At least I didn't throw the stapler AT her! WHY am I so on edge?! WHAT can I do to relax? I am thinking of going in and talking to my boss and seeing if I can just have the day off. I think I really could use a break. Our HR has overstaffed us, so we even had to let some people who came in for extra hours last night go home. We go from being 1/2 to 2/3 full to brimming. AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGG! I am also SO tired of being in the spotlight...such as "oh, look what she is eating...should she be eating that....look at the clothes she has on" I realize there is a huge difference from 200+ pounds ago, but dammit, I am still human. My personal life is still MY PERSONAL LIFE. I do not need the food police...could have used them 200 pounds ago...and I do not need to be everyone's lab rat! Did I miss something when I signed all those papers at the hospital??? Did I sign a release for the whole world to be in my business 24 hours a day:?? anyone with any sane words of advice? I promise, I put the stapler down...

Tracie, Even tho we didnt sign a paper stating look at me and dog me for what i eat people tend to do that anyways. some people will never change. i feel me personally i am sometimes touchier about my feelings and how i deal with it. so me personally i have been telling people that question what i eat hey i had the surgery but i am human i gave lots of food up and if i want to eat it then guess what i am going to eat it and if you dont like it then don't look. i dont eat as much as i use to. i was told hey you need to treat yourself every once and awhile. so a m and m wont kill me. i am just careful what i eat and if people dont like it they have the problem not me. On the stress thing some days heck some weeks are worse then others. the way i am dealing with it is take a deep breathe and say ok the old me would eat my stress away. now i walk and take me time. we have to take care of ourselves and people will have to realize it and get over it.......Lynda

thanks, Lynda I have always been a more reserved person when it comes to personal business,.,,and being in the spotlight is driving me absolutely nuts. On the up side, I had my rings resized...3 of them anyway...1 down 4 sizes! The other 2 down 2 sizes! WOW! I can't wait to get them back! How's the support group coming? Did you try getting a meeting room at like the VFW...they sometimes make their rooms available to non-profit organizations. did you get the flier sample I sent you? I never heard from yuo...figured you're busy thanks for taking time to respond to my little temper tantrum. I feel better now...release is cathartic

my mantra right now is: "it's just food." a friend watched me eat pureed tunafish and was asking "how can you make yourself eat that?" it's just food. no biggy. maybe that will help dissuade folks' obsession with what you're eating. good luck

Hiya Traci I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane Thanks for the letter. Food police are going to be out there. Myself I just don't let it bother me although I have touchy days as well. We are under the microscope for sure. It kind of reminds me of the old days when everyone knew you were on a diet & they watch to see if you are going to fail AGAIN. One night dad asked if that was all I was going to eat? I laughed at told him yep that was it & looking at his & Katie's plates I told them they looked like pigs at the trough! Maybe taking a day or two off isn't a bad idea. Thanks for the letter Hugs Carolyn

Tracie, I know that you have talked before about hormones and stuff. Could your hormones be out of wack? It seems like a lot is bothering you right now and that is generally my clue to get in touch with my psychologist because I need someone to talk to. I also never rule out the need for something for depression. I don't know how you feel about those things, but know that in my life, a therapist and possible meds are always helpful. Also, I know that I have to try to be positive always. When someone asks me about a food or something, I refer back to the surgery and about how much work I have done and how far I have come. No, I don't feel I have to justify anything I do, I just do it to be positive, educate them and be kind. Hope that the stapler is on the desk again and that you are feeling better. God bless, Andrea