More on concerned

Morning everyone, After giving this some thought I thought I should put some more 2 cents worth in. I want to share something, although it is personal. First off I think that WLS has given us more confidence than we had before. BUT I believe there can be other things going on with us mentally & physically! I decided to share something that happened to me BEFORE WLS. A few years ago I started doing things that were totally off the wall, nothing like I would normally behave. Loss of memory was one of them, being irratable, happy one moment, totally despondent the next. I was happily married at the time. All of the sudden I was discontent with everything. I would go to the store for one thing & come home with 10 things not even what I had originally gone for. I started picking fights with my husband & daughter. BTW my hubby & I never fought never really disagreed on anything. We got into a spat & I packed Katie & myself up & left him for 3 days. Something was going on with me I couldn't put my finger on. I only wish now I had gone to the doctor sooner. My marriage failed which surprised everyone after all we were very very happy. I just kept going off & going crazy at the drop of a hat. After my marriage failed I talked to my doc about all of this. I thought I was going crazy. Come to find out it wasn't so much me as it was hormones. I was going thru my change of life & this was all out of my control. Once I was put on hormones things settled down. I was getting "normal" again. Change of life can start in your 20's. If all the sudden you are acting out of whack, like putting ketchup in the freezer!, then talk to your doctor. Chances are you are starting to go thru your change. This all happened before my hyster, but I believe it can happen afterward as well. This is something that is very personal, but I truly thought it needed to be said. Loren & I are still the best of friends & I'm still hoping & praying we can put our marriage back together. I accept full responsibility for our failing marriage. I wasn't out drinking or chasing around on him. I just wasn't happy anymore. If I had won the lottery of a million dollars I wouldn't have been happy I would have wanted two million. Mid life crisis? Possibly. And I also believe men go thru this kind of change of life as well. So this is some more in reply to Denise, you can't judge as you really don't know what is going on. I found out the hard way what the changes in hormones can do to a person. I'll shut up now. Carolyn

Hello Carolyn, I totally agree with you my marriage has also been hard we are trying to work it out but not everyone is perfect and your right not everyone knows what goes on in everyones marriage so I agree with you I go out with my friends and have a good time yes I flert because I feel happy with myself the way i am now. and when you dont always get the attension at home sometimes you have to do what you have to to make you happy. so I agree with you a 100 percent. Laurie

First of all, it is my business Carolynn. It is affecting my niece and nephews. Second of all, you can talk gossip, it is not gossip it is fact!!!! How dare you tell me it's none of my business!!! I am in it for the kids, if you for one minute can explain these ladies actions and forget about the kids how sad is that. Oh Carolynn, there is two sides to every story too and you are only hearing one. How pathetic

I have been through my change too Carolyn, but I never neglected my husband or kids. Yes, I was crabby, but beyond that nothing else. Did you take your child to a college visit Carolyn and leave him in the hotel all night, returning at 7:00 a.m.???? Don't think that is going through your change.

At the risk of being flamed here, I think this thread needs to stop. An open forum isn't the best place to air your family's dirty linen. Diane, if you have a beef with your sister, (at least I think that's what's going on here), then talk to HER! Nothing we can say or do will have any effect. All this is doing is getting everyone stirred up. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that's not your intent. If you have actual concerns about what's happening in your family then talk to your family! There is nothing we can do about it except offer support to ALL parties. From my personal experience, I haven't seen anyone completely change their personality since surgery. If there weren't problems before, then there probably won't be afterward and vice versa. Perhaps Carolyn is correct that something else is at work here. Hormones can do funny things to some people.

I was reading the other concerned post, but lost my connection, and now it has been pulled. I think it is a shame that the moderators feel they have to pull something like this. It is a very REAL thing that happens to people like us who lose vast amounts of weight and we need to be able to talk openly about it. We are all adults here, talking about it is not encouraging us to go do it. I have a hard time, myself dealing with the different kind of attention I now receive because I look so dramatically different compared to 1 year ago. People who wouldn't even give me the time of day before practically stop dead in their tracks to talk to me! My first thought is Who the HELL do you think you are?! I wasn't good enough before but I am now? To hell with YOU! I have mood swings, I hate everything one minute, love it the next. We have to understand as female weight loss patients, as we lose weight, there is a flood of estrogen releasd from the fat cells we lose. It can and does cause great changes in moods. We need to be prepared and educated in how to handle it. Unfortunately, most drs would rather toss us a pill, rather than take time to educate us about the body and what happens when all these fat cells dissappear. I still think, if your marriage wasn't great to begin with, it will be even harder now. This surgery gives us back our lives, yes, but we still have to deal with the same responsibility we had prior to the surgery...for some that can be a hard pill to swallow.... My husband, as a result of my surgery, I believe, has now developed a self image problem. He repeatedly makes comments that he is getting to fat, that he needs to go on a diet. BUT he continues to eat alarmingly large amounts of food. He will not get up and exercise...says he gets exercise at work...uh, NOT...and will not go to the dr to see about getting treated for seasonal depression...which runs in his family! HOW do I deal with this? I have to agree with Carolyn, sometimes the uotward appearance is not what we should be judging...until we see what goes on behind the curtain we should hold our tongues.

Ok I gotta add my two cents too. Carolyn for the courage of posting that. Thank goodness (I think) I've been alone for the last ahem years. lol For the 6 months after my WLS I was having a hard time living with myself!! I was so depressed and miserable. There is no way anyone could of put up with my behavior. I missed my best friend -food-horribly, was sick all the time, had odd sleep habits, the hot flashes and cold chills --- wow. I was yelling at my poor baby dogs for crying out loud!. The docs have been telling me it's all been hormones since 2000. But it got very bad after WLS. I can't keep a guy around in normal (?) times, there's no way one would of stuck around during this. It's a little better now, I'm not swinging from the ceiling anymore. I didn't post very much for this very reason, it didn't sound like anyone else was having these kind of problems, so that made me feel even stranger. Carolyn I hope you can work things out, but it takes a lot of courage to tell people that stuff. Nut

I responded to Carolyn's post on this thread and it got yanked! All I said was that I didn't think it was appropriate to air one's family's dirty linen in such a public forum.

Hello all you great gals! I too have a lot of the problems you are all talking about! I recently went to the gyno to have my hormones checked.....I had been on antidepressants forever, I am know longer on them.....my old shrink thought I was doing great, and after she left, I can't find a new one I like! There is nothing worse than not being able to stand your shrink!!! I am young 26.....but I have been going crazy.....almost manic, happy and fine for awhile, and at a drop of a hat.....BOOOOOM I am all pissed and you better not get in my way! I hate feeling this way and just want to lock myself in my room! My gyno said my one ovary I have left is pretty much dead~so my hormones are whacked and might be going thru the change or whatever.....He can't start me on hormones yet, so for now I get xanax!!! Which I might add is not really helping! We are woman, and when we lose weight all of the fat cells and extra hormones attached to them go racing through our bodies...we tend to get very moody, just can't get a grasp on what is wrong with us! This is another side of WLS that hasn't been studied much! I have an appt set up Jan 3rd with a new doc and hopefully can get soemthing started to mae me feel better .....I will keep my fingers crossed anyways!!! Now about Tracies comment.....my hubby is the same way, he is having major self worth/esteem issues! I am losing weight and he is finding it.......When we go together he was 6 foot and 180 at most, I like skinny guys, always have! Now he is still 6 ft, but about 250, he hates himself and is super negative! He knows what he needs to do, exercise and eat less.....but he shovels food into his mouth all day long, and no the healthy kind!!! When I try to help him, he gives me some kind of comment that of all people I should know how hard it is.....blah blah blah.....which I do of course.....but it is different, I have been heavy my whole life with genes playing a major role....he has only gotten heavy because he quit working out and eats way to much, he CAN do it by himself, I couldn't! SOOOOOO we are working on that, I think he is so down on himself that he needs some antidepressants....he tried them once for me and gave up after like two weeks.....I don't know what I am going to do with him!!!! So, to all of you gals, even tho I am younger I can realate to all of you.......lets just try to keep supporting one another!!! Take Care Jesi