1 Week

I am one week today from the rest of my life. I am so scared to die. I don't want to leave my son. I cannot finish my just in case letters. I just can't do it. Does that mean I am weak? I just feel like crying all the time. I have told myself that if it is my time then it is my time, I am just not ready to leave my son. I am breaking out and crying often. Is this normal? In my mind I tell myself>>Oh, less than one percent, but I know there is that chance and I don't want to miss seeing my boy grow up. Any help here? Michelle

Michelle, Please don't take this as a criticism, OK? PLEASE don't put yourself though this. It's not good for you emotionally & it will rub off on your family. They will be terrified if you are. You only have a 1 in 200 chance of dying. That's small. You could just as easily get in a car accident, fall in the bathtub, or choke on a chicken bone. Do you stop riding in cars, bathing, & eating? NO! This is one of the reasons they have us talk to a psychiatrist. They need to know if emotionally you are ready to do this, not only because of the changes that come afterward but the stress of just having the surgery. I have heard of gals who were so worked up on their surgery day, that the surgeon refused to do the surgery. You have come too far to do that if indeed this is what you want. You can change your mind, of course, but don't do it because you are scared you will die. Forget about the "just in case" letters. I never could understand why people put themselves though that experience. Your family knows you love them & a letter from you will not help if you don't make it anyway. Finally, stay away from the memorial section of this website. Yes, people do die and the amount of people listed is scary but usually you can't tell from reading their profiles what they died from. Did they have incompentent doctors, did they follow directions, what were their co-morbidities? There are so many variables. I'm sure you did your homework & chose a surgeon who knows what he is doing. He will take good care of you. Afterward, it is up to you for the most part. Follow instructions, walk as often as possible, eat what the doctor suggests & nothing else, get in your protein, drink water, and exercise when you are allowed. This will go a long ways toward making sure you will be OK. You'll be fine. We are here for you & will be be praying for you. Dixie

Hi Michelle, I agree totally with Dixie. You need to stay positive The good ole positive attitude is going to help your recovery time. Life is a risk. I'm not going to repeat what Dixie told you, she took care of my thoughts on this Hugs Carolyn

I had one night, after the family was in bed.....where I sat down.....cryed my eyes out while writing my letters......thinking all the bad thoughts about what if's etc......Then that was all I allowed!!! I had cryed tons, wrote down all my thoughts in letters etc, I was ready!!!! If it is something you need to do, do it!!! Just don't do it everyday.....lol!!!! I read the memorial pages and I found them helpful.....I wanted to go into the surgery with my eyes WIDE open, I wanted to know all the risks and complications.......But I was also very aware of the risks of staying super morbidly obese at such a young age! I wanted to be around and live healthy for my three young ones.......they were my major inspirations for this surgery.....I am very happy now too!!! I was missing watching them grow up every single day, when I was too tired to play or to depressed, or too busy feeding my face!!!! It is terribly sad when someone passes from this surgery, not seeing their familys grow up or what not.....but it is so much sadder, to be here absolutely miserable and letting life pass us by......I know for me, I was missing my kids life already! Go into this surgery knowing all you can, and knowing that you will be fine!!! We are all here to support ya!!! It is so exciting, only one week left.....relax, enjoy yourself, drink lots of lots of fluids....Wishing you nothing but the best!! Take Care Jesi

thanks for your replys. I decided not to finish my letters becaue I can't do it. I am going to spend a lot of time with my son this weekend, just the two of us and let him know just how much I do love him. That is all I want to do and then just pu**** out of my mind.

Michelle, I think that a great lidea. Tell him you love him, show him you love him & if, God forbid, anything happens, that is what he will remember. Dixie