Question for all of you???? (LONG)

How soon did you notice people changing towards you? My imidiate family seems to all be very supportive of my decision. At first, the guys in my family (excluding my step dad) all did not like the idea. My brother was one and after we had a tearful conversation and I told him that I am tired of sitting on the sidelines and watching life pass me by, this is when he came around. Now, he is as excited as the women in my life. In fact, he called me @ 5:50am this morning to ask me if I was getting excited. He is going to help me with my son and whatever else I need (as he put it). We were talking and out of the blue he says, you are going to loose a lot of weight, and proceeded to tell me he was telling someone about me doing this and that person knew someone who went from 420 to 175 (a man) and he acted surprised. He just doesn't have a clue. Anyway, he made me laugh. But, here is the thing. I have a friend that we have been friends for over half of our lives (since we were 14), she is a little over weight. Not nearly as much as me. She is probabably a 16-18. She has always been smaller than me. Well, she has some major attitude with me here lately. And she has made two comments that kind of hurt me a little. She once said, just don't forget us "big girls". Then yesterday, she told me she had a dream that I dropped all this weight and became a hoochie Mama and she couldn't be friends with me any more. She also said that if I get down to a size 4 she will have to slap me (her step sister went from a 24 to a size 4 after this surgery). Please give me some advice on this. I am not letting her get me down though. If you could only see me, I have had a smile on my face since Wed. I think even in my sleep! By the way, the women in my family have been wonderful right from the start. My sister who I would never have thought would ever say anything (she was a size 0 when she got pregnant), we were shopping one day and she pulled this shirt off the clearance rack and said>>>You will be wearing this next year>>>> I really have to say that being as big as I am, my family never really made fun of me. My brother and my sister never did. We fought like cats and dogs, but they never went there. That really makes me feel good. Ok, I think this is long enough. LOL!!! I said I will probably drive everyone crazy before the 15th!!!!! Michelle

"I said I will probably drive everyone crazy before the 15th!!!!!" Drive away! It's an exciting time in your life. You are excited and scared at the same time. Excited about the new life that awaits you. Scared that you may be the one this doesn't work for. It does work for everyone who follows the rules. At about 3 weeks, you will feel that way. It will pass. You will hit a platuea about then. Your body is just catching up to the wt loss. The scale will move. You will lose wt and begin and new thinner life. It's great to be on the losing side. I've lost 84 pounds and 48.24" in less than six months. Only 36 pounds to goal. I can hardly belive it. I just stare at myself in the mirror and wonder who that is! It's very exciting the first time you can go into a regular store and pick anything off the rack and it fits! I am excited for you! Don't worry about making us crazy. Most of us are already in some form or another. Ask all those questions, no matter how insignificant or silly you may think they are. We will answer. As for your friend, she may be jealous or may think that it will change how you think about her. Reassure her that no matter what size either of you are, you will always be friends. We don't base friendship on the size of the body, but the size of the heart. Have a heart to heart with her. I had to do that with a work friend. I got some things off my chest and we're good again. She approves of my success just not of the way I chose to do it. But she knows it was my choice and is happy for my wt loss. Be upfront with her about how this is making you feel. You may be surprised with her answer. She may be frightened for you going thru this surgery. My friend was.

Thank you for the response. It makes me feel good to know I am not the only one who has felt this. That's why I like this board so much. You guys are great!

Hi Michelle, I was really fortunate to have my family support. With the exception of my son's significant other, BUT she don't count As far as your friend goes, sounds like she may be jealous, BUT I'm wondering if she isn't scared for you & this is her way of dealing with her feelings? Just a thought. Keep us posted soon you'll be a loser Carolyn

Michelle...Congrats on your upcoming life change!!! I too have been through this and gf just remember why you are having this surgery and who you are having it for YOU!!!! I agree with the other posts you need to have a heart to heart with your friend and explain to her that your body will change but your heart with be the same, but keep in mind that you cannot controll what or how others feel as it may get worse or better! The emotional part of this is the worse, just know that we have walked in your shoes and are here for you to support you all the way!!! Have a great day, Janet S

The men in my life where skeptical too......my dad didn't think I needed it nor did my brother......I got upset and told them how much I weighed and that changed their minds.....they had no idea, they were used to seeing me big........They are super supportive now tho! My mom was happy from the get, she hated seeing me heavy, my hubby was also super supportive! Friends were iffy......the first remark from a close friend was some thing about how one of her clients just died from the surgery...blah blah blah! Me and my friends have always been big together, ate together, etc!! Now I am often told I am going a little to far and will look deathly.....blah blah blah.....lol!!! I am 164lbs, I am still considered obese for crying out loud, hardly on deaths door......I am actually healthier and happier than ever!!!! WE are here to support ya....some of my most true and supporting friends I have met from this experience......it is great! Take Care Jesi