Group Opinion Needed! :-)

I've been scratching my head over this, so maybe you all can give me a "real life" opinion. Has it been your experience that the people in your life who weren't supportive of your choice to pursue surgery all seemed to know "SEVERAL" people who have had WLS and are miserable, look and/or feel terrible, and wish they had never done it? And I'm not talking about complication rates or death necessarily, because there are statistics on that kind of stuff. I haven't told many people that I'm considering WLS, but those I have told have all "known" so many people *****gret having the surgery. I guess my question is....where are all these miserable people???? Do you guys know any of them? If they exist in such great masses, would they just not be posting to any of the boards I read? And why do the anti WLS people out there ONLY run into people *****gret their choice, and not anyone who is happy with it? I'm not trying to be sarcastic....honest. But can you tell I'm tired of only hearing negative comments when I'm trying to confide in someone? Grrrr.... -Chris C.

I hear ya, Chris....I have told EVERYONE, I may as well have put it in the local paper! I am just that way, want all the support I can get. My reactions are either... 1. "How exciting" 2. "You don't weigh enough to have that done" 3. "Aren't you scared?" They all know, though, that I have done zillions of hours of research, and I am comfortable with my decisions. When I tell them how much I weigh, they can't believe it, "it must be 'cause you are so tall." I think most people think only the 'super-obese' should have this surgery...I just try to educate them! p.s. I had a cousin die after a botched RNY 2 years ago, so believe me, I have a few nay-sayers in my family! Good luck!!

Hi Chris, My surgery was scheduled at a time when several deaths were reported & I remember my MIL calling and very soberly asking me if I really thought I was doing the right thing. We agree on almost nothing so I let her know how I felt, telling her my mind was made up, I knew it was right for me, that the surgery was no more dangerous than a hysterectomy & she didn't advise me not to have that surgery just 3 months earlier. I think she was the only person who tried to discourage me from having the surgery. I also think that she enjoyed me being larger than her. The jokes on her now. However, just last week she came up to me in chruch & told me she didn't recognize me & then started bragging about me to her friend. I think the media is to blame for a lot of the negative reactions. They really publicize the problems and we don't hear the successes. There are a bunch of people who have the surgery & never share it with people. There are also people who have had problems & they really let everyone know about it. I am reminded of the article published in the DM Register a few weeks ago. It told about a woman who died after having the surgery & her husband basically said no one should have it done. People read these stories & believe them. Yes, it's horrible when someone dies due to the surgey but we rarely hear about the people who die due to obesity & many more die from it. If you want to read about people who have had problems go to this page here at obesityhelp.com http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/amosforums/any_wls_regrets/ Warning, it can get very depressing. Dixie

Hi Chris, Dixie were you reading my mind?! My son's significant other was the downer for me & my reply was also I could have died from carpal tunnel, hyster surgery which btw almost did kill me as I had a bowel obstruction & developed infection. NOBODY tried talking me out of those surgeries. Dad told me there were several ppl that thought I should have had my head examined (this is what they told him!) for having surgery. He came back & told them if I didn't have surgery I was going to die, which is so true. The press is really negative about WLS. They need to talk to success stories instead, but that wouldn't sell papers. And yes Chris it never fails I hear OMG so & so had that surgery & they are so sick all the time, it didn't work for them etc etc etc. And of course the deaths. Personally I don't think it's the surgery itself that kills it's the other co-morbids that go along with our weight. And the fact we are at a bigger risk due to our size. I have really gotten angry & expressed this to many when they talk death. Seems several will back down after I blow at them. Well yes they did have such & such wrong with them....Would be nice to have the media be more positive. Carnie is coming out with an info program in Jan about WLS, can't wait to see it. Will be great seeing her pregnacy progress with the show also. Carolyn

Sorry,Chris, that you have had to deal with such negativity. I did have a few people tell me about someone they knew that had died. As a matter of fact, our counselor at school was very verbal about telling me of a principal in our district that died from a blood clot after the surgery. I just took it as her way of telling me she was worried for me and didn't want anything bad to happen. Try to look at the bright side of things - maybe those that are negative are really just concerned for you and the risks involved. Educate them in a kind and loving way and if that doesn't work, let them know that this is what you have decided to do - on the recommendation of your doctor. Remember that when you need someone to be there for you, we are here!! God bless, Andrea

Chris, How are you doing I havent heard anything from you in a while...Hope all went well with your surgery....I still have some protein drinks for you to try if you still want them maybe we can meet sometime so I can give them to you. Jody W.