Why do the skinny/normal

size people feel as though they have the right to make comments to obese people who are trying to become more normal? Ok so by now you know I need to vent. 1. I am so sick and tired of people - telling me my eyes are sunken, my face is pale, that my eyes are dark. My eyes have always been dark lately they are darker because I have had bronchitis. (But you didn't notice my face before because you commented on how big my butt was) I am sick of being stared at and being asked am I okay. So this week I started wearing makeup again (dumb to wear makeup in the OR you can't see anything but my eyes) arrrggghhhhhh I hate wearing makeup it just adds 10 mins to my morning. 2. I am so sick of people so called friends included telling me I am losing too much weight too fast and that I will be very sick soon. Am I okay? Yes! Are you eating enough? Hello yes every time I turn around I am eating something and it usually has protein in it. Arrrggghhhh My surgery is working I am losing weight be happy for me - I am so much better at my job because I can "belly up" to the bed and be closer to my patients. 3. I am so sick of people commenting when I eat something. I get told by the two people especially that are you eating this? Don't you think that is enough? Why did you spend all that money on surgery when you are going to eat junk. Okay last week at a food day I had one bite of this cinnimen thing and the woman that made it said that I was sure messing up. Tonight I had half a slice of pizza in front of the crew at work and this male nurse kept commenting on what I was eating. I told him I have a 6oz pouch not a medicine cup size and he just kept on. I have been obese all of my life. I have been tormented, teased, and critized all of my life because of my weight and what I ate. I thought after this I wouldn't go through this. arrrggghhhh I hate skinny/normal people who think they know what it is to be obese and suffer like most of us have. I want to poke them in the eye. Tomorrow we have a good bye snack time for a girl I work with. I was told to bring food for it. I will I am going to bring protein powder for everyone to drink. Sorry this has just made me really cranky. All I want is to be normal looking. I want to stand out for the gifts and talents God has given me not because my behind won't fit in a seat or because I did something serious about it and had surgery. Sorry... but thanks for letting me vent. Lord knows my family wouldn't understand.... (Breath in the butterflies release the dragons) I am trying to relax. Hugs to us all Melinda 252/198/135 BPD 06/28/04

Very well said. You haven't heard this one?!...Is that all you are going to eat? You better have some more surely your not full! I have been rude to the point of telling people to shut up & mind their own business I know what I can & cannot eat & how much I can tolerate! Vent away my dear! Carolyn

I know EXACTLY how you feel! I am 14 months out, and i weight 172 lbs, (down 131 lbs.) and my mother told me last night that i looked TERRIBLE..my eyes are sunken and my face gaunt. I'm not even CLOSE to my ideal weight... im only in a size 12, and she's acting like im anorexic or something! I had a stressful day ...well actually a stressful 2 days..and it was showing on my face like it usually does on "normal skinny" people. Before... it just hid behind my jolly saint nick rosey chubby cheeks. VENT VENT VENT away girl...you've earned it! We are all in the same boat here. People do also stare at my plate to see what im eating. Especially now that i can eat about a cup of food at a time. I eat pizza.. i eat about everything normal except fatty fried foods and sugars. I've really gotten a deviant glee from making/baking a yummy looking & tasting dessert..and taking it to the "snacky days" at work and eating it in front of them. They FREAK OUT on me... until i tell them it's sugar free! hehe.. by then they've tasted it and dont believe me... I have a really yummy pumpkin roll that i take. Once they found out it was sugar free, no one would eat it! what dorks. Going back to the subject of my mother... I guess i should realize that she is only concerned for my well being, and my whole life she has seen me overweight and it's hard for her to comprehend that im not now. Well, now im done venting for now anyways...just know that your not alone. ~~Dawn Phillips

Oh, my "sister" Melinda, I am soooo sorry that you have had to deal with this. I guess that I have been fortunate and nothing has ever been said in a malicious or not well-intended manner. My thoughts for you are these: 1) Take it out of your hands and put it into the ONE who handles all hurts/pains etc. And, don't ask for it back!!!!! 2) Find a "generic" statement to use to respond such as "I am working closely with my surgeon and dietician. Thank you for your concern." 3) Relish in the accomplishments that you have made. We are proud of you. Be proud of yourself!! Chin up - hon! Know that I am here for you if you need me! God bless, Andrea

You are so right and so wonderful!!!! Thanks Melinda

Andrea said it very well. I can't believe your co-workers are being so insensitive, especially since they are health care workers. Be proud of this huge step you have taken. You could try a line (only on someone you really don't like) like "When I'm thin you still will be stupid!" Wouldn't use that on anyone in authority or that you have to work closely with. My co-workers have been really great. They don't question me about what I'm eating or not. They are very concerned when lunch doesn't sit well (I guess I turn a peculiar green color). They always check on me later in the day to be sure I'm okay. When they ask how much more I have to lose, they look a little funny and tell me I can't lose that much more. But I take that as a compliment meaning I'm looking pretty good already. Keep breathing in those butterflies and breathing out those dragons. You are doing great!

Hey Melinda It just happened to me, not too long ago. You just keep it up. You have the right to vent. And hey, thank you for your Emails they have really cheered me up. And everybody elses. Hang in there. Take Care Love your friend Lisa Young