SCARED

I don't even have a date scheduled, but when I start to invision the actual surgery in my mind, I become very scared. I am not scared of the post op pain or changing my eating habits. I am petrified of complications and DEATH!!! I have a two year old daughter who is my life and I cannot bear to leave her. I pray every night for the Lord to help me make the right decision. Is He trying to tell me not to have the surgery? Or is this normal? ( I do have sort of an obesession with death since losing my dad and grand dad in two separate automobile accidents). Please help me. If anyone could please share their experiences and what they did to overcome this fear, I would really appreciate it! Thank you!

I prayed. I asked God for guidance and to give me the strength to do the right thing. You need to ask yourself these things: Have I done everything I can to try to lose wt the conventional ways? If you have, and lose, but regain, nothing you can do will change that without surgery. Do you have health issues related to your wt? If so, they will only get worse without losing wt. What kind of life do you want? Do you want to be active in your child's life, or not be able to participate? This surgery is a huge leap of faith. There are no guarantees. But you could just as easily get hit by a car tomorrow. You have to want to make a life change and be willing to take the risks that come with it. You need to be fully informed of all that can go wrong so you can make an educated decision. I researched my surgeon, I asked him how many he had done and how many and what type of complications he had. He was very forthright about it. I felt very comfortable with his program and that he was taking every measure possible to ensure my safety. I was more afraid not to have the surgery than of having it. I was afraid that in 10 yrs I would not be able to walk because of the arthritis in my ankles. Are you sure your fear is just about complications and death? Is there something else there? Perhaps you are afraid it will fail, just like every other attempt to lose wt has? It will not fail. All you have to do is to follow your doctor's program to the letter. It will work. Have you started the process yet? Have you picked a doctor? Perhaps you need to talk to a therapist or PCP about your fears. I hope this helps. Lyn

I see it as a double edged sword. If I have the surgery...there is a chance I could die. If I don't have the surgery there is a very good chance I could die. In the end, I know that my life would be so much better if I could lose some weight. I have missed out on so much. Losing weight will not only benefit you, it will benefit your daughter. But the decision is yours to make and I pray you make the right one. Good Luck!

Dear Kendra, Thank for the advice. I feel a little better now. I think it is just hard to stay positive with all the negative talk about the procedure that surround us! I know that if the surgery goes well I will be a better, HAPPIER & HEALTHIER person. I am excited as well. I just need to shake my own "obsession" with death. I was scared to have my C-section and gallbladder removal (but those weren't "optional"). Where are you in your journey? I am waiting for approval. Donna