WHAT TO DO WITH NEVTATIVE COMMENTS BY OTHERS IN FAMILY

IAM TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE ABOUT THIS SURGERY, BUT GOT A CALL TODAY THAT I SHOUDNT GO THREW WITH THE SURGERY. I DIDNT NEED THIS TODAY. IAM JUST 45 HOURS FROM SURGERY. THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT THINK THAY HAVE A DR.DEGREE WITH JUST BOOK READING.AND NO SCHOOLING OTHER THEN. NOTHING. WAS TOLD TODAY THAT IF I HAVE MY GALLBLADDER REMOVE I WILL BE LAYED UP FOR 6 MONTHS BECAUSE THAT HAPPEN TO THIS PERSON. AND I WILL HAVE A HUGE CUT. TRY TO SET THE PERSON STRAIGHT BUT IT DIDNT GO WILL. IAM UPSET, TRYING TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME . CANT UNDERSTAND SOME PEOPLE, WHY PEOPLE TRY AND TEAR DOWN OTHERS.WELL GO TO WORK AND TRY AND FORGET THIS. THANKS GILDA

Gilda The advice I would give you is try and ignore the comments and follow your heart. The day before my surgery I had gotten calls from family and it was like they were telling me my last goodbyes, but in my heart I knew I was doing this for me and only me. For the first time in my life I did something to benefit myself and not feel guilty about it. There will always be family and friends out there that will voice their opinions whether they are welcome or not, I find this website to be the best moral support ever, because we have all been down the path or going down the path together. As far as having your gallbladder removed with surgery and being layed up isn't true for everyone. I am praying for you. Shelly D.

Gilda, Don't let others get you down or set you back. I had lap. RNY on June 2, 2004 and I had my gallbladder out and a liver biopsy as well. I am feeling GREAT! I don't have any regrets. Can you be 100% sure that you will have no complications, well no, but you can't be 100% sure that you won't get hit by a car today either, or that you won't trip and break your leg. Nothing is ever 100%. However, you did your homework, you are doing what the doctor has instructed before surgery and you will do what your doctor says after surgery, RIGHT! That is all you can do, and I believe that you have made the right choice. With out WLS you can be sure that your struggle with weight will be an on going battle that you probably will not win. You have to do what you feel is right for you, not what is maybe right for others. As long as you have done the research and have been honest in getting where you are with your decision, I think you will be fine! In my humble opinion, most (not all) of the people who experience problems after surgery are not following the rules. The hardest part of this is the mental game of weight loss (it is how most of us got here in the first place). That really takes work to get over. That is where this message board comes in and if you have one the support group from your doctor or clinic. I think the chances of you having significant setbacks or problems after surgery are much less than if you don't have the surgery. If you truly can't lose the weight through traditional means (and you have tried these) then you need this tool (WLS) to help you become a healthy person again. God bless, and we are here for you! TTFN Jackie

I know I have to have this surgery If I want to have any kind of life at all. I used to never let my weight hold me back and was always pretty outgoing and social but in the past year I have had more trouble fitting in seats and I hate the stares from people. I pretty much stay cooped up in my apt. and if my friends want to do something they have come to my place, because I just feel uncomfortable going out. I'm 21 years old! That is ridiculous. But like you, my main concern is what people will think of me. I know alot of people who disagree with the surgery and I don't want them to know and think less of me. I used to be employed at Curves for 2 years and many of my friends there are very against WLS. As of now I'm just not really telling anyone. This is about me and I can't let other people's opinion hinder my health. They haven't walked in my shoes. I did make the mistake of telling my 95 year old Grandma who lives in Arizona (thank goodness) She flipped out. She calls me constantly telling me horror stories, she went and talked to her Doctor about it who told her I should not have it, she has forbid me to have it, and she keeps sending me newspaper clippings and mortaility statistics! It's very upsetting and I started to doubt my decision...for a minute. I know she just loves me and is concerned. Follow your heart you know what is best for you.

I would never tell anyone what they should do. I would, however, share my good story with them. I'm sure anyone who is going to have WLS surgery has thoroughly thought about and researched it. There are people who have complications and "horror" stories. I've learned in life nothing is a given, but with a positive attitude you can get through most anything. I went into this process knowing there could be problems, but I've had nothing but success. When I had my abdomen scan the drs found a tumor and my insurance company also denied my surgery. I worked through both of those issues and just didn't let them get me down. You have to do what you feel is right for you. I'm 3 mos out and have lost 68 lbs. For me it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. I feel fantastic and would go through it all again in a heartbeat. Don't let them get you down. These boards will offer you all the encouragement and hope you can handle! We care and we're here for you. Janie 272/204/140?

Gilda Don't let her get you down as I told you before we get one shot at life and you have to do this for you. I had heard the negativity until I educated them. I know who your talking about just hold your head high and when your done with your surgery strutting around in your bikini? you never know! You know that Val and I were fine after surgery and Val had her gallbladder and hernia repair with her surgery and she was only off 6 weeks. Think positive! You do this for GILDA! Just think when you come back to work you will be a whole new woman! In case I forget to tell you tonight at work make sure to take before pictures front and side and do your measurements. I had bought a little book just for my progress. Make sure to update your page here (your profile) so that those in your shoes can go there and read how your doing. Also I lived here after my surgery reading and asking questions. So your never alone YOu have an awesome support system here! Good Luck and Remember your giving yourself your life back! Kim

Gilda, Once again, my compatriats have pretty much said it all. You have to educate people if they are ignorant about the surgery. If that doesn't work, thank them for "caring" and tell them that you are doing the surgery for yourself. Like the others have said, we're here for ya', God bless, Andrea