Some things happen for a reason

The past week has been stressfull to the extreme for me. My Mom passed away last Tuesday from pancreatic cancer. It was a bit of a shock to all of us. She had been doing pretty good with her chemo, tumors shrinking, things not looking so bad. Then all of a sudden, bam, spiral downhill and it was over. I don't have any siblings to lean on so luckily I have the best friend in the world and a hubby that finally has opened his eyes. At the luncheon following the commital service I was talking with my cuz who is trying to get her insurance approved and a very good friend that is trying to get her doctors approval. My friend made a comment to me stating she thought this whole process was going to be easy, it was me, why wouldn't it be for her. It dawned on me that I was approved so fast for a reason. I had my surgery on Nov 10 and my Mom took care of me for 2 weeks, had all her family over for Thanksgiving and got sick the next day and was finally diagnosed mid Dec. She actually had gastric bypass but for a blockage, I always joked with her she had to copy me . If it wasn't for my Mom's help and support, there was no way I would have been able to do this. It seemed that things happened so quickly when her health failed. I didn't realize until ordering flowers that the day she was laid to rest was my parents anniversary, it would have been 49 years. My Dad passed from lung cancer 14 years ago. So it seems like everything happens for a reason, maybe not the way we want them to, but in the end it must be the way it was meant to be. I've been handling the eating ok, but those old habbits of emotional eating keep sneaking back in my head. Luckily my head is in a better place than it was 6 mos ago. If anyone has any good ideas how to keep on track I welcome any of them. Thanks for listening KathyJo

KathyJO, I want to send you all my love and condolences on the passing of your mother. My mom is my best friend too and if she would not have been there for me in my dealings with severe depression - an ongoing illness for me - I would never have made it. I have been close to losing her many times - a severe UTI and breast cancer - but so far she is still with me. I have yet to have the surgery but I know she will be with me. Take care hon and know that I'm thinking of you! - Carol

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and support. I really appreciate them. I know my Mom would be very upset if she knew I wasn't taking care of myself, so I have been good and doing what I should. I went to my GP today. I am over 6 mos out and have not had any blood work done, so I took that step to see how I am truly doing. I thought I would have blood work done at my Surgeons but they don't do that. I will be keeping busy as much as possible. My son and I have decided to walk (me) and skateboard (most definately him) atleast 4-5 times a week, regardless what we have going on. By putting it in print it makes it seem more like a contract with myself. I have flower gardens planted and that will take up some time and I am also a scrapbook freak, which if I would let it, would take ALL of my time Thank you once again for your support. God bless KathyJo

((((((Hugs))))))) KathyJo First of all my deepest sympathy goes to you & your family. I also lost my mom to cancer, she had colon cancer. Dr. said 3 to 5 yrs & she was gone a year later! I lost my youngest brother in 1982, in Dec. 93 I had full term stillborn daughter, Jan 94 my other brother was killed then 2 weeks later we found out mom had terminal cancer, she passed away March 95. I'm not looking for sympathy by any means, but only to empathize with you. Just my dad & me left now & he isn't in the best of health at almost 72. Diabetes for him & we think he had a heart attack a couple of years ago. I thank my lucky stars for the time mom & I had before she passed. You are lucky to have hubby for support. Please take care of you right now! Surely your mom would feel the same. Be sure to drink plenty of water & eat right. It's easy enough to fall back into old habits when we are depressed, but this to shall pass with time, the best healer of all. And remember you have a great support system right here & we're never to busy to listen. Write me anytime, I'll listen! Hugs, Carolyn

Kathy Jo, The passing of your mom is such a hard thing to struggle with. It sounds as though you were very close and with being an only child it can be tough to get all those emotions out. Wanted you to know my thoughts are with you. It does seem that those things happened in sequence for a very good reason. And that's a wonderful thing to hang onto at this time. My husband's grandmother passed away at the end of last year. She passed on his birthday. My husband took it pretty hard but I told him, that's just her way of letting him know how much she cared for him - and how much she wanted him to remember her. At her graveside service, we had all gathered under the tent, huddled together to stay warm and the minister was just starting his speach when they blasted the warning siren as they do once a month to test it. It went on and on for at least 2 minutes. Everyone joked that it was Helen's way of letting them know she was still around! Funny thing, the next time my mother in law and my daughter went to visit the grave, it happened again! I don't know if it's just our timing or a higher power's? On to your question, now that the weather is better, maybe instead of grabbing your snacks it's time to grab a trowel and put in a flower bed or just put some plants in pots for your patio. I find that if I spend an hour or so everyday outside in the sun and fresh air that I feel better. Now that the bed is done, I still have things like pulling up all the little maple trees that have started in it or watering the pots on the patio and making sure the plants in the pots are doing okay and not crowding each other. My clematis is in need of better staking, and I need to put more mulch down in a couple of areas. I love gardening! It really keeps me occupied in the summer. Also, you might try a new pet? We got a puppy last year that loves to go for walks or play ball. Plus with taking time to brush him out, it can leave little time for bad habits. Dogs can be real motivators when it comes to exercise. My Rebel loves walks and he's always ready to go. Too, if you have friends that are going out of town, you could volunteer to look after their pets and make sure they're okay. It can be a good way of making sure you're ready for a new pet before actually going out and getting one. And pets are always wonderful about giving more love than they take. Just some thoughts! Best of luck to you on your journey. Take care - Deb W.

Kathy Jo- Your post gave me chills- such touching words you wrote. Things do happen for a reason- what a comfort it must be to know that your mother was able to care for you after your surgery- I'm sure she must have thought about that in her last days, and I'm sure it brought her comfort as well. When you feel like eating because you're down, try taking a walk to clear your head, or maybe plant a little memorial flower garden for your parents that you can go out and water and just spend time outside. Take care- you are in my thoughts and prayers. Lori

Kathy Jo, I'm so sorry about your loss. You must be experiencing a great deal of emotions now. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I guess that when some of those old habits come creeping out of the closet, remind yourself how your mom supported you through your journey and how she wanted you to be successful. You have already done a tremendous job, keep up the good work, because I know you can do it, and so did she! Keep yourself healthy and focus on protein, fluids, exercise and rest now. May God bless you and keep you in your time of sorrow, Andrea