THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS LADIES

TINA!!!! Thanks for the "get my act together" words!!! I do appreciate all the words and thoughts and prayers. I went to bed last night thinking I am NOT going back down that road and I have cleared out all the crap and junk food out of my desk at work and home. I figure (god rest her soul) my mom (who has been "gone" for almost three years now) quiet smoking cold turkey I can stop the "EVIL FOOD HABITS". I am going to start over and tell myself each day that i am better then I was a year ago and can run, walk, ride my new bicycle (my hubby bought for me) and hike and swim and do all that while breathing. I work part time to stay active at night while my husband is working and can't believe that I can bend down without trouble and stay that way for more then 3 minutes without feeling like I am going to die. Why do I like the new me, yet still give into the MIND GAMES and FOOD THOUGHTS each day for the last month? I think the first year is nothing after surgery...it is the start of a new way of life, food style and KEEPING everything off is the hardest part of all. I knew going into this is was only a "tool" not a fix so I am not clouded with the thought of this was a "fix". I just feel and prayed I would have been like some people that their bodies just won't except that (surgar and stuff) food like it did before. I am not and I feel like I have failed at this surgery and did not learn to eat slow, take small bites and so on. I get tired of drinking water (DON"T crave pop or anything that is carbonated) so it is hard for me to get all my water intake (which the surgeon is aware of) but I do the best I can. I miss the suport group I use to be in, but came to find that they were not using that time for an actual "suport group" but a social hour and that was not what I was needing. But there is a new group getting ready to start in the Ames Iowa area and I am excited about that CAUSE I FEEL that has been half of my problem. I don't want to hide again from the world cause of my weight, I don't want to hide from being active again. I want to live. I have only been married for a few months now and we are getting ready to have our wedding reception in HUBBARD IOWA May 22nd starting at 1pm if anyone wants to stop by and say HELLO you are welcome to do so. I want to live to be with this wonerful man who has been nothing but supportive and active in my meetings with other surgery people. Even the surgeon was happy to see him each time I had my checkups. My family is very supportive and they too excited when they see me change. With all the positives in my life I just wonder why is it so easy to go back to hiding the food and eating when no one is around? I wish I could find that answer. Well thank you all for listening to me and letting me get some of this off my chest (ok, what chest...CAUSE IT IS GONE). I love to read the posts on here and see how everyone is doing. Lorrie from AMES

Hey Lorrie...I'm coming to visit...because I want to see what 167 looks like!! Holy Cow!! That is awesome...I will be throwling a party when I'm 167!! Hooray for you! I think we all have doubts that we're going to gain it back...but when I was talking to my therapist the other day she looked me in the eyes and said...Deb, I know you won't let yourself gain it back....and she talked me through a journey of self awareness and self confidence. We all need someone objective to talk to....someone who has delt with issues of self-esteem, shame, guilt and other issues around food. I started binging and hiding food when I was 6...I remember sneaking in the kitchen and hiding the food in my drawers and lying to my family about it. I started these behaivors because I was getting sexually abused...and it wasn't until I startd going to therapy a year ago that I finally started to deal with my emotions and issues around food. I can stop eating now...I do not binge...I do not eat mindlessly...I still have occasional sweets and I have to work at it every day. I have come to the realization that I have contriol over what I eat, how and when...and if I want a small piece of chocolate I will eat it and not feel guilty....because If I do feel shame and guilt around eating it...I will want more to cover up those feelings of shame and guilt. Not everyone has issues of abuse and neglect like I did. But everyone has issues with food. I could not be doing this without therapy. Good Luck Lorrie...I'm coming to visit! I'm very proud of your weight loss! Deb PAul

Deb I WOULD LOVE TO MEET YOU IN PERSON!!! party starts at 1pm and ends when you are good and ready to stop. There will be some other ladies there that have had the surgery that you can meet and chat with as well and they have either done as good as me or even better. ok we all have done good/outstand/wonderfully now that we have made the choice to change ourselves for the better. Thank you for your kind words and would love to meet you. Bring your spouse as well cause there will be guys hanging around and if there is one thing I have learned and that is they too need to chat about what they have gone through with us. 219 W Maple in Hubbard Iowa (May 22nd)

Lorrie, congratulations on the weight loss and the new marriage. Life is great! Hey, I am in Story City and I would love to be involved in the "new" support group that is starting around here. Could you get me more info? tkfoss@iowatelecom. Thanks! Kris

Kris hello, I won't know more about this new support group in Ames until after next Thursday. Mary Greeley Hospital is going to be heading this up and they are going to meet with the group (social group really) that meets there now once a month about the new support group and see how the react and get their feed back. So I can email you hopefully Friday afternoon on the 23rd with more information. Lorrie Smith [email protected]

Lorrie, 167!!!!!!!!! I hate you! No just kidding. When I talked to you a little while ago you didn;t tell me you were going through all this. Honey I am just a few miles up the road. I need support too. We can get together and support each other. I have ben going through alot of the same things you are going through as well. I can eat pretty much anything and not get sick. I find myself sitting around and eating. My weight hasn't changed in 2 months. Get ahold of me. I would really like to start going to a support group as well. ~~~Amy LAP RNY 08-05-03 / -70 stuck for 2 months

Lorrie, Keep hanging in there, dear. Remember, that we cannot do this alone. Support from friends and family is crucial. Also, some of us need the help of a good counselor or therapist. Please don't rule that out. I found myself in some of what you were saying -I don't always take small bites and chew as well as I should. I need to get control over that again, too. Congrats on your wonderful loss and your recent marriage. Beware - Deb is on a path your way!!! Blessings your way, Andrea

Thanks for the prior postings, I needed the inspiration for control!! You folks have said it well!! Thanks again, Eileen

Way to go girl, now your thinking right, keep it up and email me if you just want to scream about anything, I'm here for ya babe. Take care of you.~~~~Tina