need some support

Hello again I know most of you are new to this surgery or just had surgery and you are not to far out. Well as I come to the end of my first year, I fear the worst for myself. I find that I can eat just about everything!!! yes even a ton of chocolate. I MUST STOP THIS and just can't seem too. I can't believe I am such a weak person that I can not control myself with candy and food. Life is to short to go walking/running back to 272 pounds when I have finally gotten to a 167.5 pounds and have less then 30 more to go to get to my goal weight. I am looking for someone or ALL of you to give me some good advise and hand slapping or something. I just can't believe I have gotten so out of control all of sudden. I find myself thinking I can have this little peace then another a few minutes later and so on. I pray to the lord up above for help and feel like I am so alone. My husband is very supportive and helps me stay straight when he is at home. But I can't rely on someone's help to get me through the lonly times at home and sad times. I really went in with this surgey with the attitude I will never go back and I will never eat that crap again, yet here I am. My other surgery friends keep telling me NOT to be so hard on myself. but I think a good beating would help... I am so ashamed of myself, I feel like I have let myself down and I can not seem to get back on track. HOW do get back on track? HOW do I face my problems? HOW can I find out WHY I do this? I feel so stupid cause I can not see WHY I do what I do and if it is all emotional or stress or something else... Oh someone reach out to me and help me come to terms with this.... Lorrie from Ames

Hi Lorrie, I have not had surgery yet, May 3rd. is my day but you wanna get beat up well here it goes, Are you out of your damn mind woman, you have worked so long and so hard and now your gunna give in to the bull**** your mind is trying to convience you to do which is eat everything and anything with no concequences to pay for it. Girl, you know better than that. Do you want to be fat again? Your sure on your way back to the dark side and next time there won't be any way out. Is that how you want your family to see you, a failure? You can stop the bad habbits, you just have to want to, so get your ass in gear and take this demon and crush the heck out of it. When people tell you that you are being to hard on yourself, well I don't believe that, only you can be responsible for what you do, only you, so really get on yourself hard and absolutely refuse to be beaten by the demon, kick it to the curb girl. There, how's that, have I been honest enough. My daughter just had surgery today, doing great I may add, during her 2 week liquids I did them with her, not because I had to but I wanted to so I know what she is going threw and I can swear to you, I will never ever allow myself or my daughter to ever live like we are today, never. We have fought to hard and to long to fail and food will NOT control our lives again. I look in the mirror every morning and I tell myself, I am so worth this surgery and I will not surcome to it's demons that I know will try to sabatoge me. Try that , really works and can't hurt. I'm here for you and the people on this site are awesome, they will help you as much as they can but the final decision on you is you and you alone. I wish you the best and I hope you can beat that evil food thing, it will only be the death of you if you don't stop it now. If you need some woman you don't even know, knock you down a bit again, hey let me know, I aim to please. Just kidden, I do wish you all the luck Lorrie and if you need to talk, don't hesitate to email me ok. Take care of you.~~~Tina

Lorrie, I feel your pain. I am almost 11 months post-op. Since day one I have been terrified that the only thing between me and overeating again was my willpower (and I didn't have a lot of faith in it). I have not had any episodes of dumping and can eat almost anything. I have come to the conclusion that I must only keep good foods (like fruits and veggies) in the house. I don't totally banish the sweets from my diet and I know if I ban any food, I will only want it more. Instead I know I can have a fork full or two if I am offered it. I also find that the busier I am the less I think about food. When I am bored I tend to snack more than I should. The other thing I do that I need to change is I eat standing up in the kitchen. After sitting at a desk all day I find I want to stand. So I stand in the kitch and eat my dinner. That's not all that bad, but I find I then linger int he kitchen longer than I should after hte meal and that starts me snacking eariler than I should. Thus my new motto is "Eat and get out of the kitchen!" To get back on track I suggest taking small steps. Other may disagree and say go back to a clear or full liquid diet for a week. For me, I am not eating any sweets unless they are sugar free. Also I am keeping my self to a strict 6 small meals a day menu plan. I added 2 additional hours of gym time a week to my schedule too. I also taped a picture of myself from my pre-op days to the refridgerator If that doesn't motivate me nothing else will. Good Luck! Janine 5/16/03 BTC-Illinois 273/159/???

Lorrie, Whoa, Tina had me scared there for a second. I thought that she was serious about everything and then she sounded so supportive. Whew. Remind me never to ask for a chewin'!! LOL Honestly, Lorrie, it sounds to me like maybe some counseling or therapy will help. I am not an expert here, but as I have stated more than once, I am going to see someone this week. I hope to get help to find out why I eat when I do and also some coping skills to help me deal with stressful situations during which I would normally eat. I am hoping that the psychologist can make me sane - is that possible? LOL. I think that you are probably on the right track to taking control back of your life - you admitted that you had lost control to what some view as an addiction. The first and hardest step is over. Now, on to the next step. Please keep us updated on what you choose to do. May God bless you with strength for the journey, Andrea