Help!

Hi everybody! My surgery is scheduled for the 21st of this month. So in four days I'll be in. But... my mom is trying to talk me out of it. She initially was supportive and now says that she doesn't want me to take this drastic step. I'm at a loss. I mean... She said she just wants me to be happy and all- but then my father and brother on the other hand won't listen to me when I try to explain what I'm doing. I just don't get it... I don't sleep at night- and I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. I told my boss I would be off work for a few weeks and told her why... she gave me the look... the look of a thin person trying to say... "just stop eating" anyways... i don't know what to do about my family. any ideas?

Hi Deanna - you are doing the right thing no matter what your family thinks - I'm running against the same obstacles in my family - my finance's family is more for the surgery than my own. Do you have other support systems in your life such as friends and maybe a support group at the hospital you are having the surgery. I know it is hard for our families to understand our situation even though my parents and sisters have all had weight problems. We have to do what we think is best for us. I have to wait until I get approved for disability to get the ball rolling for me for surgery - but I'm difenately (sp) gonna to have it! If I stay at the weight I am (380) I would die a lot sooner from morbid obese complications. Your family maybe considered due to the risks of the surgery - but all surgeries have their risks - I'll be here for you! Take care and God be with you! - Carol

I agree with Carol. Did you catch Oprah this past Monday where the Dr. said "If you have colon cancer would'nt you have surgery to remove it?" Morbid obesity is a disease & after several weight attempts have failed WLS is the cure & not the easy road to take. Remember you live for yourself alone, but if you die from this disease your whole family mourns your lost. Denise RNY 12/10/03 Dr Schwartz/Grinnell 252/215

Follow your heart. Are you of age""""? Talk to your doctor who can advise you and comfort you. good luck. Shine

Deanna, I think a lot of us understand what you're going through. If it helps, my mother, sister and brother-in-law are all in medical fields, and when I first brought it up, they were not particularly supportive. It took me a long time to get approval through insurance, and by that time, they had more exposure to people who had the surgery and were much more accepting. My husband reacted much as your dad and brother did...he didn't want to talk about it. Finally admitted that it made him very nervous, and that he worried about what would happen. Since surgery he has been great--very supportive. I had trouble sleeping for the week before surgery, and nearly broke down in tears as they took me in because I was so scared of all the bad things that could happen. I'm now nearly three months out, and have been feeling better every day. I wish you well. Shelly

Congratulations on your surgery date. I live in Emmetsburg so only a few miles away . I too faced a lot of family concerned about the surgery, but now that I have it done and have had no real problems to speak of they are very pleased and supportive of my decision. I would say go with your heart on this matter its your life and health . If you need someone to talk at just email me......Bye Sheila