What have I done to my kids....

Well, I have done a LOT of thinking on this. Two days ago my mother-in-law (bless her heart) brought up a conserning issue for her. She had noticed since having my surgery, that I REGULARLY offer my children my left-overs. OUCH~ I did not get at all upset with her because I thought about it, and I have been doing that; not realizing what I was doing to them. Especially my son, who is a larger kid anyway. We have chosen not to make his weight an ISSUE because that can be detramental to a child, however; we have been encouraging him for over a year to make better food choices. His biggest problem is he wants to eat so much. WELL~ ME offering my left-overs to him is NOT HELPING HIM!!! I must STOP this NOW! I do not want to hurt my kids, I want to help them, and hopefully they learn from my journey about healthy eating, living, and lifestyle changes. I WILL NOT harp on them nor will I EVER critisize them for the way they eat, but I WILL try to help them by not hindering them. Tammy Open RNY 11/03/2003 -50 lbs

i know this isnt the same thing, but i do it to my dogs. and they are dachshunds and dont need the weight. you are doing great. and thank you for not making it an issue with your children. mary jo

Hello, welcome back we missed ya I always feed the leftovers to my husband and now hes gaining so we both joined a gym. I feel bad but he always takes the leftovers. so now i just throw it away.

Tammy, WELCOME BACK GIRL! anyways, about your post... well, I do sorta the same thing, but I am lucky in other ways. I only have one child, he is 6, and average. so anyhow, when we go out and stuff we just share meals. Right now, he and I eat about the same amount. He might eat a little bit more. So, I have been lucky that way. I am trying to figure out whats going to happen as he gets older though and wants his own meal! LOL. well, by then I can order small size stuff for myself. the only bad thing is, I am sorta keeping him from eating a lot of foods, because I cant eat them, so I dont make them just for the tiny bit he will eat. Luckily he is in school so he gets full meals there, and at my mothers she is obsessed with making vegs and fruits, etc. with everything. I just havent wanted to or needed to make big meals since I had the surgery, I have madea few, and things just go to waste! poor kid. here he is, eating his macs and cheese and pears, and lovingi it. I should have made some chicken and salad or something so we could eat together. but its easier just to give him what he wants and I can eat what I want. *sigh* anyhow, thanks for making me feel so crappy tammy just kidding! later girl Judi

Thanks SOOOO much for the Welcome Back everyone And thank you also for the great support you offer me Tammy ps. LOL Judi!!! Your a HOOT!!

Welcome back........some of the folks on the main message board are just mean aren't they.......But it would be so boring without them! Anyways this subject hits close to home......I have three beautiful daughters....One who is a spitting image of me, behaviors and all.....all she thinks about is food.......she wants to eat all the time or if anyone else is.....and she isn't like normal kids.....For a treat, when her sisters want fruit snacks, she wants a bologna sandwich.........Or tonight after working out at the Y......they swam for a long time and were hungry...so they asked to get a snack out of the vending machine and I said yes.....well she doesn't want candy, she wants a bag of chips.....she is so like me, a carb addict..........And right after my surgery, I felt kinda deprived so I fed them all the junk I couldn't have....now I am not doing it, but I find myself having a very ahrd time with her........She is 4 1/2 and is a twin....her twin is 34 pounds and that is soaking wet...she on the other hand is 56 pounds......I feel she is already going down my path to food and self destruction and I don't know how to help her???? SO anyways.........if you figure things out, let me know what to do, as this subject saddens me every day.....Take Care and Good Luck Jesi

Hi all, My oldest son, who is 17 years old is a big boy - size 44 pants. My 7 year old daughter is also overweight. Only the baby and dh are "normal" sized. Soooooooooooooooo... when I made the decision to change my habits, I made the decision to change their habits too. I shop big once a month because I get paid only once a month. Before shopping, I make a list of 20-28 meals or so and then shop for those meals. All meals this month are reduced calorie and reduced fat and reduced carbs. The family doesn't always like it, but they are starting to get used to trying new things. My teenager is going to be the hardest to break because he loves his bread, but he is working on it. Now, I have to quit cooking for an army. I still have been cooking a lot for a meal and dh and I are eating leftovers for lunch for several days before relinquishing them to the dog. It seems to be an everlasting struggle to get the family to eat right, but when Momma doesn't have the crackers and chips in the house, (I love the salt and carbs also), the kids can't eat them. We have found that snacks of fruit or sugar free fat free pudding or s/f popsicles work well. My ultimate goal is for my surgery to also affect change in my family's health as well. God bless, Andrea

Tammy- You are such a great mom!!! It shows by how concerned you are about their weight and trying to protect them from eating disorders. I feel the same way about my son. He is slightly overweight- but thankfully very active in sports. His whole life I have been terrified that he will develop my eating disorder- that is part of the reason I decided to have the surgery. So far, I can't eat anything beyond eggs and cottage cheese- so we have not yet run into the problem you described above- but I am sure it will happed soon enough. I am thankful you brought it up- so maybe some of the rest of us can avoid it. I wish I had a magical answer for you- the best thing is to maybe give everyone their appropriate portion and put the plates on the table- rather than putting serving bowls on the table and that way- when anyone is full or their plate is empty- they are done with the meal. I don't know- but that may work! Good luck- I know there is no easy answer! PS- good to see you on the board again! Michelle