I am in deep Mourning!!!
It has finally come to me after all of the wonderful responses I received from my last post. I am in deep mourning. I have loss my best friend. FOOD. It never dawned on me before that I abused food the way I did. I never realized how much I depended on food until now. I find that as soon as I am stressed good or bad I am ready to reach for something to shove in my mouth. So I had to find something else. It is still hard no matter how much I try and divert my attention to something else,but at least it is a start.
I bought the Gazelle Elite by Tony Little and now when I am stressed good or bad I HOP on Tony and ride into the sunset.
I just wanted to say thank you all so much for your kind words and heartfelt emails. I know this is just the begining for me and that things will get better. I am slowly but surely learning the meaning "Patience is a Virtue".
Adrienne
It is good that you are able to come to terms with some of your reasons for eating. I know how you feel. I never seem to feel hungry but sometimes I catch myself wanting to reach for food and I have to stop and ask myself why I am doing it. The support we receive here is really a great help. Keep up the good work.
Theresa
I know exactly what you mean about food being your best friend. Before the surgery I relied on food for everything - lonliness, anger, depression, as well as to celebrate with. After the surgery I found myself still doing that, following the same behaviour! I'd find myself going to the kitchen for no reason at all and just standing at the fridge looking to see what looked good to me. The good news is that nothing did! OR I'd do the untimate no-no and just grab something no matter if I needed to eat or not. Ultimately, I'd throw up every time, or I'd feel so sick I wanted to .
I've decided I need therapy to get the old mindset out and develop a new attitude about food. Most days I can go all day without eating anything until my body says it needs some fuel to keep going. That's if I'm keeping busy and not just sitting around moping. I'm impressed at the way you are handling your mourning period and can learn much from listening to you!
Sharon