I need Answers please!!!

Hi All, It's that time again. Yes, for me to vent. My support systems are in order, my weight is pulling off fast, but fast in who's eyes? Not mine that is for sure. Oh you look so good, to who? Not me. I know you feel good, No not really. Sure I can eat just about anything and not get sick, at least for now. Be thankful they say, oh but I am thankful. So what are you trying to say they ask? I am doing this thing because I have no choice at his point I say. But in the meantime can anybody tell me when does it get better. I have talked with my therapist, I have talked with my Lisa C. I have talked with Lisa D. I have talked with Wendy, I have talked with Debbie and tons of others. But when do I feel better I ask. Now what I need to know is the real deal. I need to talk to someone who is having the emotional difficulties that I am having. I am not sure what is wrong, is it just me, am I the only one that feels this way. I mean I read post after post after post and I hear all the glitz and glamour, but I have yet to come across anyone that has really displayed any real emotional trauma. If you are out there please respond because I need to talk. If you do not wanna tell your story on air please email me privately. I just need to know am I the only person that feels this way. I can give very good advice, and I can give lots of support and say encouraging things and mean them from the bottom of my heart, but I can not take my own advice, I am terrible at being my own support person. I am not trying to scare and new post ops or pre ops, this does not affect everybody the same, but for me it is beyond anything I could have evr conceived mentally and before I loose my mind I just need to know is it me? Am I the only person that feels this way? Adrienne

Adrienne, I am so sorry you are having internal turmoil. Believe me, before my "final" decision to go ahead with surgery I had turmoil as well, but finally realized that this surgery was going to save my life. My older brother had a massive heart attack and nearly died when he was only 1 year older than me, and he was obese. I used that as my example and decided I did NOT want to die. This surgery is a very personal decision and nobody can make this decision for you, but ultimately, the decision becomes based on this one thing, "can you lose the weight without it?" I will be praying for you and hope you come to a good decision for yourself. Take care Love, Tammy Open RNY 11/3/2003 -31 lbs

Hello Adrienne. I too have been struggling with the inner emotions. I think I had unrealistic expectations when it came to weightloss. Meaning-I thought that POOF I would be thin and even though I am losing the weight I still feel like the same old me, and I should but I should feel good to be the new me. And what is really weird is I am more self concious now about my body than I was before especially with my husband. Every day gets better and Iam growing into being the new me but it has taken time. I didn't put the weight on over night so it's not going to come off over night, and I take one day at a time. This website has been the greatest tool I have found when I have doubted my own inner feelings. I don't know if this has helped any but you are not alone in this life changing experience. Keep smiling for a new day will come.

Adrienne- I think we ALL have inner turmoil just after surgery! It's kind of like a death- I've been thru all of the stages of grief. And really, it's the death of an old life style. Try to focus on the new birth you've been given with this surgery. My first post op visit, I'd lost like 20 pounds. I was so dissapointed, and my surgeon got a little mad at me. He said, when was the last time you lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks? He also said, if you loose the weight too fast, you WILL NOT be emotionally ready to deal with it. At almost 5 months out, I still feel that sometimes the weight is not coming off fast enough. But I also feel I have more CONTROL over the process. I am the one that decides what I'll put in my mouth- and I don't always make very good choices! This surgery is truly a tool- it's still up to you to follow through. Give yourself a few more weeks to deal with it- don't try to be Wonder Women. Let yourself grieve and take time to heal. Jeri H.

Hi Adrienne, You know you're right!! If we can't feel free to post an honest answer here, then where? I am 9 wks post-op, I'm having some other health problems, just had knee surgery 11/25 and a wisdom tooth, infected pulled out the week before. I do know for myself, narcotics seem to mess with my emotions. I get even more depressed. I am struggling with a lot of the same things you are. When I posted here tho, I got no replies. I think this site is more about giving support in a positive way. I know, like you do now, a lot of us suffer emotionally after the surgery. I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to post to begin with. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!! LOL If you are, you have a lot of company!! I wish I had the magic words to make it go away for you, but no such luck. I will pray for you and try to keep your sense of humor, it just might save your life. LOL I am isolating myself, I pity myself, (lot of good THAT does) I spent the holiday alone, after the few friends I have left told me all about their plans with family. I've lost my best friend, FOOD Geez, in 1980 I had to quit drinking booze, I gave up on sex, I was told I'm allergic to chocolate and peanuts, quit smoking, What is left, I ask?? Just don't let yourself fall down the dark hole, keep hanging onto the side. I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself now, as I think a lot of us are. Not a lot of guidelines to follow. Hang in there, "THEY" keep telling me it will get better. (all right already WHEN??) (((HUGS))) Sue