Just some thoughts

This is more for everyone who has gone through the surgery already. Not sure how to ask other than did you ever think you would start to lose weight, feel better and look better. I just have a hard time visualizing what I will look like 100 lbs lighter. I mean I try but then all the negatives pop in. I mean (I will probably have surgery in mid Jan) I think wow how great it will be to go swimming at the lake this summer or go to amusement park and actually be able to ride the rides with the kids, or even just take a bike ride. All the things I can't do now but then I mean I don't remember what it was like to be a size 18 or less since I was 10 years old, or anything like that. Just wondered what some of you thought before your surgery. Thanks. I love this site being local and all it just seems to be more honest, and not the snipping that goes on elsewhere. Even when we don't agree it is still good.

Leslea, I thought about this again just last night. I can not remember ever being thin and have a hard time remembering about 12 years ago when I was 100 lbs lighter. I try to visualize because I think you should have a mental picture so you can strive toward a goal but I can't even imagine. I did have a funny thing happen today I went for my gallbladder ultrasound and the lady doing it said and why are we having an ultrasound I said I am having gastric bypass surgery and she said get out your not that big!!!!! I'm sure she had misplaced her glasses but I do hide weight well which I guess is why even when I weighed 100 lbs less I still wore a size 16 or 18. I remember wearing a size 12 for about 2 weeks in High School and I graduated in 1968. LOL LOL LOL Ann

I catch myself looking at my reflection as I pass a mirror and try to imagine how others see me. Our perception is always so different than others. What amazes me is seeing some "after" pictures of people who still weigh 200# plus but they look fantastic, as if they weigh at least 50# less than that! Maybe it is my tolerance because I have been there. I'm sure some lifelong skinny thing would think we still look like tanks! The one that sticks in my mind is Kate Winslet. When she did Titanic she was criticized for her weight. To me she looked healthy, not some sickly size 0 stick like Calista Flockhart! I have noticed my ability to do things more so than looking better in clothes. Such as bending over to pick something up that before would have been a major effort with huffing and puffing. The best is being able to sit in a restaurant booth again. You get to be pretty expert at knowing which places have tighter booths than others! The only time in my life I can remember looking and feeling like I looked REALLY good was in my early 20's when I got down to my low of 147. I can only hope to get that far down again.

Leslea, I felt the exact same way before surgery. During my initial consult with my doctor I was asked what I wanted to do after I lost the weight. I couldn´t responds since I didn't believe I would EVER lose the weight. I swear I was born a size 18. Now it is 6 months later and I am down around 75-100 pounds (I go for my 6 month weigh in this Friday). I had all the self doubt. Before surgery i was convinced I'd never lose any weight. I now find my self wearing size 12 pants (down from size 24) I sometimes see my reflection in the mirror and it doesn't register that it is me. As I have lost teh weight I have emerged from my shell and am truly enjoying life! Good luck on your journey! Janine

I gained my weight after high school. I had always been the thin one. I remember how it felt. I think that is why I was so unhappy for the past 15 years. I just kept gaining and I would try and nothing. But as I got old her my health took a turn. I knew it would only be time and I would die. I am really not the old either, just turned 35. Physically everyday was hard. I looked more like I was in my 40's. I hated that. The more I lose the more active I am getting. I remember and I can't wait to get it!

Thanks to you for answering my questions on this. I just don't know one day I am so gung ho and the next I just think what are my kids going to do without me if something goes wrong. What a vicious cycle I am in right now. I try to be positive and optimistic I dont' know, and of course hearing of all the new deaths lately hasn't helped. I know this is my decision and you are probably all saying for me to just get over myself, but how did you and are you coping. Of course I want to be healthy and live a longer life but am I cutting it short by doing this? I have started talking to my kids about the surgery, (two boys 8 and 10), not the risks of course I don't want them to worry before I even get a date scheduled. I have begun all the letters for if things happen. Like tonight we were having dinner and they were both asking me what I can't have and what I can eat, I was showing them how much I would be eating and my 8 year old was like Mom you'll starve to death. He of course is my love bug and he just says I love you the way you are don't change. Now how do you reply to something like that. Of course I say I want to be better and do more things with them and he just hugs me and says that I couldn't be any better than I am now. Pulls at my heart. Well this is longer than I wanted to be but thanks again to all your answers on this. Have a great night/day tomorrow.

Leslea -- I can relate. I also have an 8 yo son who asks me a lot of questions about the surgery. I've had my initial consultation and am waiting to hear from my insurance. He is worried about something happening to me, and I sometimes get worried too. I know in my heart that I will be so much healthier after I get this done. I try not to talk about the worrisome things around him and to keep things upbeat. Keep thinking positive and reassure them that you will not change -- only your size. You'll still love them just the same and I tell my son I would never do anything that wasn't good for me or him!! I feel that doing this for myself will also help him in the long run. I want him to see a healthier style of eating -- smaller portions and less junk food. Keep thinking positive. It will all work out in the end.