just need someone to listen

This stuff that happened in DesMoine does anyone know what happened exactly?My husband freaked out on me and says he won't let me have the surgery because of it.I am doing really good,I have lost 14 lbs. since Aug 22 but I know that I had to by this month for my second consult to have the surgery.I should be getting a surgery date by Nov and now I don't know what to do.He is very against this hole thing now and I know he is scared for me but I feel like it will take me forever if at all to lose the weight I have put on.I am at 257 now and I started out at 270.Talk to me what do you guys think.I really havent tried alot of dieting(true dieting)so part of me thinks I should keep goping on my own the other part of me says I have started the path to surgery do I want to start it over again if I don't lose the weight.Well thanks for listening to me whine but I don't know who else to talk to.

Bobbi, I just had my consultation with my surgeon yesterday he told me that this is a major surgery and anyone can die from the surgery he said the most common causes of death are blood clots and leaks. I said but don't you think I'm pretty healthy and my BMI is in the 40's and shouldn't I be ok he said you still can die remember that. I took him seriously I know this is risky but I have tried diets since 1968 when I was in high school I would never do this if I thought a diet would be successful. If I had not had a long past history of diets I would try that first. Remember you will be changed for the rest of your life and you will have to deal with the change for the rest of your life. This is just how I am feeling today after my talk with my surgeon I am ready for the surgery but I feel this is my last chance.

Bobbi- the recent deaths in Des Moines have lots of people "freaked out". It has forced me to do some soul searching to make sure this is the right decision for me- even with the risks, I do think it is right for me. I do agree that surgery should be your last option- if you have tried dieting in the past and had no success, then surgery may very well be the option for you. Remember- your risk is dependent on lots of things, your BMI, your overall health, the competency of your surgeon and his support group, the hospital staff. I plan to ask my surgeon when I see him next week- based on my physical condition, do I have an increased/decreased chance for complications? I think that is an important point to be made- it's not about national averages, but rather about how you and your profile fit into the national complication rates.

Hi Bobbi, Like I told you before, I am going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. We have so little time on this world, wouldn't it be so much more enjoyable if all of our family supported us all the time. But unfortunately, that does not always happen so we need to make decisions based on what we feel and what WE feel only. I know you will make the right decision and I wish you all the best. Keep us posted and take care

Bobbi, i'm a mo post-op and those stories scared me too but I came thru my surgery in good shape. I trusted my surgeon and the staff . Also none of us know exactely what happened to those women in DSM it could have been numerous underlying problems that didn't come to life until after surgery. I've lost since surgery close to 40 lbs that even dealing with an infection in my long incison due to an allergy to the suttures that no one could have foreseen. So my advice is go with your heart and things will work out. Take care....Sheila

Hi Bobbi, A suggestion... Ask your husband to backoff on freaking out and ask him to do some reading and studying about this surgery, it benefits and its risks. It's easy for us to get caught up in hysteria and hype but take a deep breath and listen to what you feel and what you've learded so far. If it feels right go for it. God Bless. Patti

Just keep educating yourself and your husband. Its not a procedure to be taken lightly and you shouldn't go through with it until you fully understand and fully accept all the risks and the changes you will need to make.