Family backlash

Hi everyone. I just have to whine a little bit. Today I went bowling (on a league) and my sister-in-law, her mother, her husband, and another bowling teammate began to give me a lot of crap about my surgery to come in 19 days. Her mother even went so far as to say that I'm asking to die on November 3rd. I know they are uneducated about the surgery, scared for me and all that hunkey dorey stuff, but cummon now! I cannot take that! It's really scaring the cheet outta me! I know I am doing the right thing, but I need postiive thoughts right now, not that! I felt like they all ganged up on me. They kept saying there must be something I have not tried, well NO, I have tried everything but WLS! This is it for me, I have to do this. But now I am so scared of leaving my kids behind because that is all I have been hearing. The news about the ladies in DesMoines has not helped them lay off either, it has just reinforced their opinions for them. I am so frustrated I could just bawl! Thank you for letting me whine.

Tammy, I understand what you mean my oldest daughter is not in favor of the surgery. I thought she was beginning to see why I wanted this and to be a little more for it but then yesterday she calls and says look in the paper (our little local paper) there is an article about 2 women dying in Des Moines and on and on and on. I tried to explain to her you need the facts were these women very very heavy, did they have many co morbidites because that increases risk. I have just decided this is something I must do for myself and although I wish she was on board I can't do anything about it if she's not. Do what you feel is right for you. Ann

Tammy- Some things you just have to do for yourself. Having this surgery is a very scary thing, but not having it is scary, too. You just have to tell yourself that if you don't have the surgery, you may not be around to see those lovely children grow up, get married, and give you those lovely grandchildren to spoil then send home! The risk of death is 1-3%- that's really noit bad odds. My surgeon told me that it was his job to make sure I lived through the surgery and recovery, and I trusted him. You'll be fine! Keep your attitude bright and ignore the nay-sayers! Jeri H.

Tammy: Isn't it nice to have the support of your family and friends!-- jeez louise- like what you need right now is more pressure. I have been getting some "you're sure you want to do this?" and my mom did ask me to make sure my will was updated and she had durable power of attorney, just in case something happens- but for the most part people are still pretty supportive. All I can offer you is this: you know in your heart if this is right for you and if this is the right time- believe in yourself and your ability to make good choices for yourself. Try to avoid people with negative "vibes" about the surgery and get yourself mentally, emotionally and physically prepared for your journey. You will do great!- Now, 8 wks from now, when I am going thru this same thing- please remind me of my words of wisdom!!!!!

Tammy, I am so glad that you wrote this. I am scheduled for surgery on 10/30/03 and my family and coworkers have been concerned about me too. It is nice to know that there are others going through the same thing as I am.

Tammy, this is a surgery that is done on a daily basis and sorry to say, the doctor in Des Moines had a bit of bad luck! It's a good thing that he won't be performing any more. Dr. Hardy of Mary Greeley Medical Center in Ames did my surgery a week ago Monday, 10/06/03. I got along great. The most important thing is to remember the sooner you get up and get moving, the faster your recovery will be. I even got out a day earlier than planned, on Friday, because I was doing so well. The MOST IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER IS TO HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE!!! Good luck!

You are going to have to turn a deaf ear. Tell them Dr. Schwartz has never lost a patient. I have 18 month old twins and my husband and I both had the surgery. The posibility of us being healthier for them outweighed the risks! They might even be jealous at the idea of how happy, and hot you will be In-laws are difficult to handle...but you just have to ignore them sometimes. You're not asking to die-you're asking to LIVE! Deb and Jason Paul

As I mentioned on a previous post, the chances of the surgery being successful are MUCH greater than a disaster! I agree that many of these surgeries are performed throughout the nation on a daily basis but Iowa was just unfortunate to have two that were back to back that were not successful. I don't know the exact statistics but what are the odds that you will die in a car crash over an airplane crash?(pretty high) Does that mean we should no longer ride in cars? You do what you think is best Tammy! Yes, your family does love you and are scared for you but the rest of us know from experience how miserable being obese feels inside and how much you have tried to change that. We will all hope and pray for the best for you. Stick to your guns and continue to educate yourself and think positive thoughts. It is the best ammunition against those negative influences. The thorns in your side will probably become your biggest fans once they see your self-confidence and motivation level increase. You go girl!

Hi Tammy, Family and friend support is a wonderful thing but in the end YOU have to decide what is best for you. I flat out told several people that if the only support that they had to offer me was negative then I would rather not hear their opionion about my surgery. Dr. AC did my surgery on 9/29 and I'm doing great. I don't agree that him not doing this surgery is for the best. Dr. AC is an excellent surgeon and he should be doing this surgery for the many patients that need his skill and the expertiese that he has to offer. Good luck Tammy and I wish you the very best.

Hi Tammy, I am 5 weeks post op and Dr. A.C. did my surgery on Sept. 9th and I had no problem at all. My family was very supportive to me before,during and after. Dr. A.C. told me twice about the risk of this surgery and I knew it would better my health. It's nice that your family is worried about you but it's your right to decide to have it done. Hope you do well and I will be praying for you.If I had to have it done again I would still have Dr. A.C. do it. Talk to you later Diana