Three weeks from tomorrow...

Three weeks from tomorrow and I will be on the loosing team. YEAH.. Last Wed. I had my first bit of anxiety since I've started this process. My thoughts were racing. I kept thinking, maybe I haven't really tried hard enough to lose weight and that my having surgery is not the right thing to do. I know deep down that having surgery is the ONLY way for me to lose the weight and be healthier. It's weird. I think part of my anxiety is that I have been obese since age 8 or 9 and me being slimmer is scary for me. People will see me differently, I'll be treated differently slim than when I was obese and just knowing this will happen irriates the heck out of me. I'll be 50 in March . and I have worn nothing but polyester black or blue slacks for 15 plus years and pull over tops all the same style just different colors. The thought of being able to buy clothes off the rack and in any color or stripe gives me a headace. Rationally I know this is small potatoes but it still makes me anxious. I asked my best friend yesterday to ***** slap me if after surgery she ever sees me in poloyester pants. Hey, I'm a creature of habit. I can see myself putting on the old poloyesters and an old tee shirt just because it feels safe and familier. Just wanted to share a few of my thouhts. hehe

take pictures of you ,so you can do a brag book. congrats mary jo

Patti Jo: While my surgery date is still further off then yours- I have already started to have some of those "what if" conversations with myself- what if I fail, what if I lose all that I want and still don't feel good about my body. I think that must be normal. Let's face it- most of us are not morbidly obes simply because we eat large portions. At least that is true for me. Overeating and being fat has served some function for me over the years and it will be a big change lose those companions- as much as I want to. That being said- you should NEVER wear polyester pants again!!!!!! I keep looking thru "normal" catalogs and thinking- wow- soon I will able to wear that- not more long shirts to cover my butt or elastic waistbands!

Congrats on having a date. The next three weeks will fly by. I didn't have to much anxiety until the night before. I was so scared. I even had thoughts of backing out at the last moment. I had a dream I did back out.