Has this happened to any of you?

My daughter is 22 the 2nd of July and seems like every time we go somewhere somebody has to make some damn stupid remark about her that really gets me pissed off. (Please excuse the language) now, she is 336 ibs. very overweight, we are waiting on her to get this surgery done also but this adult man and woman at wal-mart starting making oinking noises at her and calling her free willey. I came from around the corner and absolutely went mental on them to the point the store people made me leave, yeah me leave, Ya know talk what you want about me but when it comes to my daughter I will open a can of whoop ass on anyone who disses her. I might have gotten a little out of control but that's just the way I am, My daughter must have cried for 2 hrs. straight. I also told that stupid guy well she can lose the weight but there is no way you can get over that ugly face. Please, someone, was I totally wrong in this situation? or how should I have handled it? Normally I just snicker at them and walk away but I'm sick to death of that kind of crap. Thanks all for letting me vent.

YES!! I have had it happen to me and I have both ignored it and gone balistic. Just depends on my mood I guess. One of the many, many things on my list of things I will NOT miss post op. By the way, that line about ugly is one of my favs to use. I am 34 and my skin is thinker than a 22 y/o. I can imagine the pain. Like we aren't under enough stress as it is jumping thru the hoops and having everyone wanting to talk about our weight! Don't know if this will work for others, but when I get down, I go to the before and after photos on this site and it really helps get me focused again. I will keep my fingers crossed that your daughter gets on the losing side soon so she won't have to deal with that type of ignorance much longer. Elizabeth

You're welcome to vent anytime you want, we're here for you I think we all know how your daughter feels....I dont understand people, especially grown adults, people who should know better. I went out to eat with a friend of mine one evening, and as we were leaving , I figured the rude comments would come from the high school kids sitting next to us, I might have been allright if it had been, but no, the rude comment came from the adults, keep in mind probably 40 yr old adults, who you would think would have learned respect and consideration by now, but the guy turned around and looked at me and said "whoa that's huge!!" and they all proceeded to sit there and giggle. I am 23, and amazingly enough, I can not really remember a single time other then that anyone being rude enough to say something within ear shot of me about my weight. At least most people whisper .... Has she had her consults yet, or a surgery date?

It been happening to me for quite sometime. Little kids I can let it slid , teenagers it makes me mad, young adults verry mad , middle aged -- I would just like to asked them to look in a mirrror after-all there are very few normal sized people out there anymore. Tell your daughter to just keep a stiff upper lip she's the stronger person. Also some people are just plain JERKS.....

I have to say that the adults that I have encountered have perfected the "silent pity stare", and "whisperrr whisperrr" behind your back and shut up the moment your within ear shot act. I have delt with the Oinks from teenagers... etc. Little girls asking her mom "Isn't that fat lady pretty?" hmm..for some reason the "pretty part" just didn't get through the "FAT" part in my mind. . Being overweight can be such a struggle. On a daily basis, I am soo unsure of myself. I constantly feel that others are talking about me.. and it just really effects everything i do. I am NOT a shy person.. I'm quite outgoing... so this insecurity really brings me down. I vow, right now.. that I WILL NEVER.... NO MATTER HOW THIN I GET...put down another person or judge them because of their weight. Tell your daughter to hang in there.. we have all been there...better yet.. have her come on here and introduce herself to us.. We'd love to be here for her. We are all in (or have been in) the same boat. ~~~Dawn Phillips~~~

I cannot believe that adults would be that callous and rude!!! I'm sure if you were able to look in THEIR closets there would be skeletons they would rather keep under raps- they are just not wearing them for the whole world to see! I had more experiences like that when I was younger(I'm in my forties now). Last week I took my daughter to the pool and lugged my 300# + body along in all its glory. But I was there for one thing and one thing only- to help her have fun and teach her to swim. I held my head up and dared not make eye contact with anyone because I 'm sure there were stares and ugly whispers. I just kept reminding myself I was there for her and my new life will be starting in August. By next summer I will be at the pool in a much smaller body(AND a sexier swimsuit!). I comforted myself by noting that even the women who probably look fantastic in street clothes have bumps and bulges revealed by a swimsuit. So no one is perfect! Give your daughter a great big hug and do all you can to help her get the surgery. Forget those morons at Walmart!

Ya know Tina you and I may have alot in common. As someone who wants to always see the good in mankind, there are deffinatly the exceptions to the rules. I have to wonder though how your daughter was feeling when you were getting thrown out of Walmart. Might this add to her hurt or does she feel tht someone is in her corner. Just a thought. As for Walmart..... I can't stand those stores. Their actions were ....( I can't think of anything bad enough) Please tell your daughter that she is not alone and she is the better person. Give her and yourself a big hug from me******DeAnne

That has happened to me alot in my lifetime.. being the fat child... then fatter teenager and the way huge adult..( Im 5'2 and about 285 lbs) People have lost the abillity to hold an inner monologue .. they just say what they think and hurtful or no they just talk too much when they should be listening ... I feel really bad for your daughters pain because I can totally relate.. My mom used to be the kind of person who would say something bad about someone if they werent *normal* shes just a little skinny thing untill she cut off her finger and has an outward disfigurement now ...people just have to look at their flaws before they point out other peoples. Michelle when you go to the pool next time just get an additude like I have.. if they dont want to look they wont... and Dawn dont you just love the *she has such a pretty face* thats the worst thing in the world to say about a big girl.. and GOOD LUCK to both of you on your surgeries ...I'll get there someday too Dawn

Tina, I got a tear in my eye reading your post. I'm 24 and let me tell you that the ignorant and hurtful comments have never stopped. Although it may seem to others that the comments don't get to me anymore, believe me they do. After a lifetime of this stuff my self worth is almost worn down to nothing. It gets so old day after day to have to live life as the fat girl. To have to worry that an innocent child or even a pathetic adult is going to say something terrible to you for no reason. Knowing that you cannot even go to the store without being stared at. God it gets old. I think it was Dawn who said being fat changes who you really are. Like she said, I'm outgoing too. But since I've gotten so big I've just sort of shrunk inside myself. I'm afraid to say anything, lord knows I don't want to get noticed or who knows what someone might say. I'd love to say something like tell your daughter to ignore those ******** but I just can't because I know how much it hurts. And as far as you doing what you did, good for you. I have a 22 month old daughter who happens to have been to specialists because she has problems GAINING weight, if you can believe that! I pray everyday of my life that she doesn't have to go through life the way I did. I just don't want her to be labled "the fat girl". But let me tell you if she did grow up to be heavy and someone said something like that to her I know I would lose it. It breaks my heart when people say those things to me, but if they said them to my child you know I'd be opening up that can of whoop ass right there with ya! And shame on the idiots at Wal-Mart! You know maybe by the time my little girl is 22 this fat issue won't even be an issue anymore.Hey we can dream can't we?