17 days til my rebirth!

Wow.. it's going faster than i thought... only 17 days left until my rebirth! Alot of things are going through my mind right now... how scared i am...and excited...of course the "am i going to die" thing..but it's not as bad now (today anways! lol) I'm getting more and more excited every day! I look at everyone that did such a WONDERFUL job losing their weight and i hope that will be me here in a year. I did, however, join a yahoo group that focuses on revisional surgery...and there are quite a few people who had a VBG to RNY revision...and then had to have ANOTHER surgery to revise to a DS. I've looked into the DS and really dont think it's for me... I just dont know if i can take failure again. After the 2 years of HELL I've had since i was diagnosed with diabetes...i am DETERMINED to make this work! I've started using 3 lb hand weights to start on my pecs, so hopefully i wont lose my bustline first! I'd like to keep my DD's..but a D wouldn't be bad.... Anyway, Im rambling.. just wanted to touch base and let everyone know where im at in my "journey".

Oh Dawn, sometimes it seems like so much to think about it could drive you crazy doesn't it? I was thinking today that I wish I just had a "stop" button in my head to turn off all the thoughts about surgery. Glad to hear today was a bit better dealing with the "death" issue. That's never easy to think about. I'm still trying to get over it, but I'm not sure you really can all the way really. I think deep down though that we all know it's right for us and we'll be okay. As far as the people and their surgery revisions, that would make me crazy. I'd be thinking should I do this one or should I do this, blah blah. My head would be spinning(more so than it is already). I say just follow your instincts, you know what's best. Especially since you've been through it before. I have to say I don't really know much about the DS at all really. Want to fill me in? I'm so afraid of having the RNY and then losing a ton of weight and gaining it all back in a few years. I honestly think the humiliation of that would kill me. Do many people gain it all back? Wow listen to me, I'm the one rambling now!!! Anyhow, keep your head up. I'm SOOOOOO happy for you that your time is almost here!

Dawn, Keep positive and don't be afraid. I can talk big now, cause I still have a ways to go. I don't know anything about the DS or VBG. The docs I go to only do the RNY so, that made my decision easy. Several girls I work with have had RNY recently, no problems, no complications, etc. One is three months out and has lost 70 pounds, another two months out and down 50, the other two are not back to work yet so I am not sure where they are. You will make this work. For sure. I have started working out too. I am worried about my upper arms. So, I am trying to get a head start on that. I am sure you are excited. Don't you just wi**** could be a few weeks past the surgery. I just want it to be over. But patience is not one of my virtues. Well, best of luck. I am sure I am going to be full of questions once you are back on line after your date. You'll be in my prayers!!!!