help guys..im scared

The closer I get to my surgery date (21 days left!) the scareder i get.. I am really REALLY scared. I have just started thinking this in the last couple days.. but since I have been fat FOREVER... I just cant see myself skinny...therefore..i keep wondering if me not being able to "see" myself skinny means im going to die in surgery..or from complications. I KNOW IM BEING STUPID.. but the thought is still there all the same.. and I can't talk to my husband or mother about it because it will make them all the more worried too! Please someone help me to calm myself.. anything.. feed me lies.. i dont care.. i just have to stop this.. my blood sugars are SOARING because of the stress!

Dawn, for some reason I was more scared the second time than the first. Don't know why. Hang in there, you will do fine. What is your date again, I can't count to 21 LOL. Do you have an angel??? I would be glad to do it if you don't have one. I assume you will be at Trinity Regional in Ft Dodge right and do you know how many days?

Dawn, it's alright to be scared. That's because you are going to be something you've never had a chance to be. Skinny---a mere shadow of yourself. It's good to be scared when your doing somehing different. But rather than focusing on that feeling, take the time to notice the things that are going on around you..... the journey.... the ride.....the expeirence. (sorry about some of my spelling--I need a spell check!) Think about this....you're going to a great doctor, he's set things up for all the tests that are needed, if there was any reason whatsoever that would make him feel that you could not be successful with this, then he would not let things go any further. Right???? Let him do his job.......he has ownership of that........yours is to enjoy your journey to it. ~~~Linda~~~~

Oh Dawn, I completley understand what you are feeling, and our surgeries are only one day apart!! My biggest fear is also that I'm going to die in or after surgery, I have no idea why I think that. I just keep trying to think about all of the other major surgeries that these doctors perform, I mean they transplant hearts and lungs and it's their job to make us better and keep us alive. That seems to have helped me these last few days, just thinking that this is my surgeons job, he wouldnt let me have this surgery if he wasnt confident it would go well. *smiles* ~Kelly

It's completely normal to have these feelings hon... I wrote my children letters, "just in case". I finally came to the conclusion that my surgeon would NOT perform this surgery if he didn't 100% believe that everything was going to be OK. Write in a journal- or use this board as a journal and let out those fears and feelings. Things will be FINE, you have all of us here to support you and TRY to help you calm down. {{{{HUGS}}}} ~Julie

Dawn I have some of the same fears you are having. I can honestly say that I have given them to my higher power. I cant' see a loving God take a mom away from her kids. I can think of my husband alone... he would be alright eventually. Same with my parents. But my kids need me and so do yours. There is a time in life for everything, and this is the time that you have chosen to change your life. Rejoice in that and give your fears away. We can either let them consume us and give in to them and be worse off, or we can face the fear and chase it away. Best wishes******DeAnne