Co Workers

I have a Co- Worker and she is overweight like all of us. She has been telling me for the last two years how to lose weight. Everyday she comes to work and shows the food choices she brought to work. This has been going on for a while now and I have noticed she hasn't lost any weight. The only thing I can think of she is a closet eater. She is always giving meweight loss advice. when i told her about the Surgery I am having on Sept 2 she has been less then support. She thinks it is the easy way out... Does anyone have any advice on to how to handle her unwanted advice?

Wow, that's a hard one. First off, I have had an open RNY and it is definitely NOT the easy way out. Weight Loss surgery is a tool, and it is all in how you use the tool. It would be very hard for me to bite my tongue, I would probably make a comment like "Since your meal plans don't seem to be helping you, maybe the surgery would better suit YOUR own needs. I will let you know how it goes." Another thing I guess you can try is when she offers you food advice, let her know what your dietician's advice is. Maybe hearing things from you will help in her weight loss, or else she might just give up trying to 'help' you. Sorry if this didn't help... as far as the easy way out- it is still a lot of hard work and remember that nothing tastes as good as thin FEELS! ~Julie

Hi Lisa- Your coworker may secretly be fearful of gaining the new title of "The Heaviest One in the Office." Her own low self esteem causes her to put down others to make herself feel better. As you have observed, the route she has chosen has not resulted in weight loss. She may continue to be catty but after you lose the weight, what more can she say? It's likely you will also become more self confident and assertive and she may be uncomfortable with knowing how to deal with that change, especially if up until now she has gotten away with her remarks. A response I have given successfully is "The surgery is a choice I have made for myself, and it may not be right for everyone. But I feel good about it and am ready for the changes I have to make." If what she is doing works for her, then fine! Michelle from C.R.

I have EXACTLY the same woman working with me.. i swear!!! Only she doesn't do the weight loss thing every day.. she is just is overweight herself and is VERY unsupportive of the surgery (i think she doesn't want me to get thinner than her!). She keeps talking about her grandmother who had the surgery EONS ago (i mentioned to her that back then it was more drastic and people DIED from it.. not now.. when they only skip HALF of the small intestine) and all she says is .. i wouldn't do that if i were you.. you're signing your own death certificate. Lisa... sometimes you just have to confront a person to get them to shut the hell up! If i were you .. i would wait until a time when you are ALONE.. and no one else is there to witness her humiliation ( that would be very unkind) and I would tell her.. "listen..you have been giving me diet info forEVER and i dont see you losing any weight... if i want advice from you, i will ask ok?" This surgery is MY choice, and it's the RIGHT choice for ME.. that doesn't mean it's necessarily the right choice for YOU" It is unkind and makes me feel uncomfortable when you offer advice that I haven't asked for. ~~~see if that works.. ~~~~~~~~~Dawn~~~~