depressed beyond control

Ok.  What do I do? I am so mad at myself for doing this surgery.  I love food and hate all this crap I am eating or not eating I should say.  Is this normal? I am 12 days out and feel I have made a big mistake.  Please help me.   Chris

What you are feeling is very normal.  You are going through food withdraw.  It feels like you have lost your best friend (food). For the first three months I so wished I didn't have surgery. It will get better. I watched the Food Channel all the time because it was like porn to me, lol. Give it a few months and it will get easier and you will be able to eat  more diffrent foods. Your  pouch needs time to heal before you can have more kinds of food. I know it gets tiring eating the same food all the time. It will get better. Also your hormones are all a mess because of this surgery. I use to cry alot. Drink ,drink.drink and take your meds. I promise it will get better just hang in there Chris, it is so worth it. Cindy

Thanks Cindy! I need all the encouragement I can get.  I will try to be patient.  Chris

Honey, Why didn't you call me? I was home all afternoon and nite yesterday.I felt the same way. The first time they got me up on the ICU, I was like what in the he** did I do to myself. It does get better. Try and eat what you can and please drink lots to keep yourself hydrated. Please call me if you need to talk. Take care of yourself. Stephanie

Hello Stephanie.  That was a bad night.  I had a really hard time with it.  I am getting ready to go out for a walk soon but I will call you one of these days.  I didn't want to bother anyone cause I thought I was being crazy.  I really am not doing well with the darn protein though.  I can't stand it and can barely get it down.  I am getting in as much as I can but I know it is not as much as I need.  What do I do about that?  I have not gotten sick yet thank God, but I feel like I could eat some string cheese already and I need it for the extra protein.  I can't eat cottage cheese, the consistancy bothers me, and the beans are getting old.  Not sure what I did to myself but I love food way to much and I am definately in withdrawl.  Do you know how I can get the protein down?  Also, do u think I am ready for string cheese yet? I really have 6 days left before officially I am able to eat it but I am def not getting in my protein.  I am having a pain in my left kidney especially at night when I am sleeping.  Hurts to breath even.  What do u think about that? Should I call the clinic? Sorry I am so lost right now.  Thanks for everything. Chris

Dear Chris, You are only twelve days out so it is unreasonable to expect that you would be able to get all the protein in.  That is a goal to work up to.  You will get there.  And as someone who loves food but is a picky eater, I know what you mean about texture being an issue.  And getting tired of beans!  I don't like many soft foods, so I was a mess during the pureed and soft food stage.  Boy was I ready to chew something!  And I have never been able to handle a protein drink.  I did find a couple of bars I could tolerate, but even the drinks everyone seems to love would gag me.  It's the smell. 

I am far enough out now that I can eat most things although there are still some that get to me.  And while I don't miss most of them, I do occasionally miss being able to enjoy a nice piece of thick sliced pizza.  Not that I need to get into that habit again.   Just give yourself time and you'll get there. Good luck, Sally

So Sally,        What did you do to get your 60 grams of protein in? I am really struggling on that.  It is the smell.  It is terrible.  Even the unflavored has that smell and it is awful.  I am not sure how much money I have spent on protein that I can't take.  I hope someone can give me something to go on because I am not getting my proteins in and I need to.  Thanks, Chris

My worst meal was breakfast.  When I was cleared to eat real food, I did scrambled eggs (a lot) or a protein bar called Power Crunch.  You can order them online.  You might start with a sampler to try the different flavors.  I could do those because they have the texture of a sugar wafer cookie rather than those heavy protein bars.  They are low sugar as well.  I think I had one of those for breakfast most mornings for six months!   I also drank at least two glasses of skimmed milk a day to increase my protein. For the soft/pureed lunch and dinner I would do tuna or egg salad with some light mayo & maybe a touch of mustard or I did the refried beans with hot sauce (I love spicy).  I only had to do about a week of this, so I could handle that.   So that would be 14 for the scrambled eggs, 18 for the two glasses of milk, 14 to 21 for the salad, and about 14 for the beans.  So that put me at 60 grams at the lowest.   Once I got into the real food stage it was easier to increase the protein as I could do more meat instead of eggs and beans.  I don't like cheese, so that wasn't an option for me. I don't do chicken well, so I now eat a lot of seafood and beef.  Ground pork or turkey are okay, but I have to pay a lot of attention to how moist the meat is.  I did a lot of stews that first fall as I could reheat the dish in the gravy. As you get to the eating stage, just be sure to chew, chew, chew, and then chew some more.  And eat s-l-o-w-l-y.  I took up knitting to keep a slow pace--I didn't want to stop midrow to take a bit for fear I'd lose a stitch.  If something doesn't agree with you, it may be that you didn't chew it well enough or ate too fast. Good luck, Sally

Sally,        I am on the chicken and string cheese part.  I tried some peeled cucumbers with fat free italian dressing last night and had no problems with it.  I am really tired of eggs and beans tho I can tell yah that.  I can barely eat either of them anymore.  I am ok with the chicken, but not much you can do with 1 and 1/2 ounces of meat.  So I make my chicken, then add a piece of lowfat pepperjack cheese and I put some salsa on that.  That is my supper lately.  Do u have any recipes you would like to share? I am in need of new recipes.  Let me know and hope to hear from you soon.  Thanks Chris

Oh girl, You are not a bother. Please feel free to call anytime ok. About the protein. I really liked the Isopure so that really wasn't an issue for me. However, I did find some other options out there. Slim fast has a low carb meal drink that I still drink to this day for breakfast. It has 20 grams of protein and very low carbs 6 to be exact. Only 1 gram of sugar. I drink that chocolate one. You would have to drink 3 of them to get to your sixty. I really like them and think they are tasty. Give it a shot if you want. Keep your chin up and please call if you need anything, that is why I am hear. Stephanie