I'm one of those statistics..

Of a marriage going down the pooper after WLS.. After battling the eating monster for almost 2 years now and losing 175 pounds and last year having my tummy tuck and arms done it happened.. My husbands gotten jealous and insecure, accusations started flying around like snow on a windy day. He officially moved out yesterday. I just don't understand it, we talked and talked and talked till we were blue in the face before I even contemplated having this surgery. I just couldn't take the assumptions anymore. We have decided to give it 6 months or so then see where we are then. Any words of advice on how to handle this is greatly appreciated. If I could go back two years and know then what I know now I don't believe I would have ever done it. It's all been worth it up until now. If anything, thanks for 'listening'. I figured if I could find any advice or words of encouragement it would be from here.

I dont know what to say except for how sorry I am. I have not had the surgery done yet, but I have those concerns also. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers and I pray that everything works out for you. Cindy

My hubby is one of those guys who has always been attracted to BBW's. I was about 190 lbs. when we met and since then I ballooned up to 270. Since having decided to do this surgery I've seen a side of my hubby I've never seen before...the insecure side. At first it was cute and very flattering. Then it went into downright annoying. We finally sat down and discussed it and it comes down to he's afraid that I'm going to get "all hot looking" and have all these guys trying to get my attention. I told him that for one thing when I got married I intended on doing it one time and one time only. Also I am a very loyal person and I can't imagine spending my life without him regardless of what size I am. Then I asked him what if he doesn't like the thin me and goes looking for another BBW? He looked shocked and assured me that I am the one he wants to grow old with and that was a crazy thought! Funny how you can turn things around to make a point! Hopefully your husband will realize that living with the thin you is way better than living without any part of you. Does he understand that having had this surgery has increased your life span so you can be together that much longer? Maybe trying to reassure him (once he's had time to cool off) that it's just the two of you reaping the benefits of this surgery I hope he comes back to you long before 6 months and just hang in there in the meantime. This place is awesome for support! Chris

No words of advice, only commiseration. Mine is pretty much the same situation (been separated for about five weeks now); only throw his alcoholism in with the mix. I have not even had reconstructive surgery and if a male even glanced at me, he acted like he had a bumblebee up his hind end. *shrug* Let me know if you need a shoulder to cry since, obviously my advice would be useless. (((Hugs))) ~~Sherry

Trac you know I feel bad-but you also know that I know its for the best for you. Keep your chin up, and keep thinking of the kids and making sure they are happy too Big hugs-and you know where to find me Judi

I am not yet banded but I can relate.  7 years ago I went on Phen Fen and lost all of my excess weight.  Felt wonderful!!!  Had a breast reduction and lift, wore a size 6.  Hubby became very jealous.  He was always 'watching' me when we would go out or whatever.  Complained I had 'lost too much' but in reality I was still over weight (according to BMI calculator) and I was doing everything under doctor supervision so I was doing it the healthy way.  In the end both of us just decided we just weren't happy together anymore.  We seperated and then divorced a year later.  After the divorce I started putting the weight back on and now I am 58 lbs heavier than what I was when I first started losing 7 years ago. I am back in that deep dark, feel so ashamed of myself spot.  Can't wait to have the lap band and get myself healthy and feeling better again.   I am remarried now, 1 year ago last May, and I have to admit that I do think about what happened with my first marriage over the weight lose. I have decided that I am going to go through with it.  I want to feel healthy and happy again.  In the long run I know I will be a better mother and wife.   Keep your head up and good luck!!  You are not alone....this happens a lot.