Physically feeling great..

finally the pain in my side is gone!!! THANK YOU GOD! I can stand up straight and not hurt anymore! Had my 2nd upper GI today and no leaks! Yeah... I should definitely get my JP drain out on Wed since I harldy have any drainage. Maybe 10 cc's a day. I think i have the Gdrain another week though. I am not getting much out of that either..like 50 cc's over night. I'm not sure why I need that another week but I guess if the doc says.the doc says. Let me see..more good news before the bad.. I have lost a total of 34.8 lbs so far!! I started at 303 and now am at 268. I havent seen those #'s for about 11 yrs! YEAH. I can tell in my face already and my legs. Of course I have been in starvation mode for about 3 weeks now. I did go out Sat night and I swallowed my gum. I about **** thinking I was gonna get sick and stuff..but luckily nothing happend. That wont happen again!!! On for my bad news..I've been emotionally drained. I left my husband shortly before my surgery and I have now realized how big of a mistake that was and how i want him back. He is not ready for me to come back right away since I hurt him so bad. I have decided I have some major issues that I need to work through (low self esteem) and once I have dealt with that then we can work on our relationship again. He said he isnt 100% sure he will take me back, but he said he will try to work things out. I guess that is a start. I know once I lose all this weight I will be a happier person and so will he. We can do more things together like when we first started dating 11 yrs ago. I start seeing a therapist next week and I cant wait. This weekend I havent gotten more than 6 hours of sleep since Fri night. I cant stop thinking about him and all the things I screwd up on. BUT I know it will get better but its just gonna take some time Ok...off to bed now...night all

Glad you are doing better. I remember when I was only a couple months out and I accidently swallowed a whole sunflower seed (shell and all) and I freaked out, thinking I had hurt myself somehow. But it was fine and nothing came of it. It is scary though. Janine, you will amazed as you continue losing weight, how your entire life changes. Your confidence level will sky rocket and you might find that you have a renewed sense of confidence in working on your marriage. Things really change, my friend. Hang in there and keep us posted on how things are going. He's probably making you keep the gastric tube in longer "just in case". They are no picnic to put in, so you don't want to lose it prematurely. jean

Janine, I was just going to email you to see how you are doing. I am glad about the JP tube and getting that out soon...maybe then you can start drinking again instead of doing it all down the tube. I am sure things will work out for you and hubby. I also think working with a therapist is a good idea and it will help you in the long run. You will get you self confidence back and things will happen. Deanne

Thanks Deanne. I dont know if hubby and I will ever work it out, but I know I have to move again. My kids need to be back in Madrid and closer to their dad so I am going to start looking for another place to move. Can my life get anymore complicated Sorry I couldnt make it to the meeting. I dont know how I will ever be able to make it to any meetings as I always have my kids and but maybe once I move back to Madrid I can get my old sitter to help me out.... I see Dr. Smolik tomorrow so I should get rid of the JP drain. They said I can start drinking water again and broths etc...BLECH...i hate those..water I do love though Deanne, how are you doing??????????? i need to call you...might do that here soon

Janine, I always tell myself things happen for a reason. If things are going to work out they will for you and Hubby. That does not sound like such a bad idea to have the kids closer to there dad and you and him can start working things out (if that is what you both are needing and wanting). Stay strong and I will be here when you need to talk or help you out. I did not make it to the meeting either have food issues and was very sick. I am sure when things calm down some you will find a way to come to the meetings. I hope to go next month is all is well. I sure hope that you can get rid of the JP drain as you will feel so much better...I sure know I did. Water right now is my friend and really only friend when it comes to things. I hope to talk with Janette again today for some help. I am doing fine...I think has been a tough few days (since Sunday). I started back to work part time on Monday so that has been alittle of my issue but Boss is very nice and tells me to leave if I am feeling bad but I do not feel bad unless I eat something then it is like I swallowed rocks and then Call me anytime I have my cell on during the day and at night I am at home so call either place. Talk to you soon! Deanne