Recent Posts
Topic: Patience is a virtue that I don't posess.......
Everyone has such good news lately that I just hate to kill the joy, but here goes......
(huge sigh), I won't be having my surgery anytime soon. Everything was going quickly and then WHAM, brick wall. First, I find out that I have severe sleep apnea w/ alot of oxygen depletion so I have to do another sleep study and use a CPAP. then I find out Dr. Fowler wants me to bring my blood sugar down just 1 more point, okay fine. both of those were doable by Dec. 17th (my tentative surgery date). but I just saw Dr. Lovette on Monday, and my hopes and dreams have been dashed. At least for a few more months. She wants me to see a therapist here where I live. Apparently, she diagnosed me with depression, and I THINK she said suicidal tendacies(I say I wanna kill myself sometimes, cause I get really frustrated, but I never would. that's taking the cowards way out. it takes more strength to live then to die), and I have low self worth. my self image is shot to **** I have alot of issues. I think I was kinda freaking her out when I was telling her about the really bad physical abuse I suffered as a child. the no self esteem stuff became worse while married to my ex. So she suggested I see someone. Actually, I told her I wouldn't mind seeing someone and then after all my stories she said. I'm happy that you brought it up first. Sorry I am rambling. she told me I know you're probably angry, they all are when they find out they aren't cleared for surgery, then they thank me later.but trust me, you'll be better able to handle the surgery and what comes after, compared to how you are now. She says alot of times, patients become suicidal AFTER surgery, or because their mindset is not right, it sets them up to fail, and they either lose weight slowly, or not at all really, or they gain back all they lost, and more. I don't want that for myself. I WANT to succeed, and I AM...I just gotta take care of my mind first, before the body, so it can help me in the process. I told her I wasn't mad, just really disappointed, and now I was extremely depressed. I mean REALLY....I kept biting the inside of my lip to keep from crying. afterward, i just sat in my rental car for about 10 min. just spazzing thinking, okay, now what? but then i shook it off. so anyhoo, i'm supposed to find a doctor (which i did, i see her on monday) and see them for 6 mos of treatment. but my approval ends in 5. so now I'm looking at a mar/apr surgery date. I was so looking forward to meeting and possibly having the same surgery date as Hilogurl.....oh well....congrats to everybody on your guys good news...by the way, I'm so jealous!!!
but with love...
sorry so long, i should've just blogged it, but i need some love people, and encouragement cause i'm still kinda down......aloha
(huge sigh), I won't be having my surgery anytime soon. Everything was going quickly and then WHAM, brick wall. First, I find out that I have severe sleep apnea w/ alot of oxygen depletion so I have to do another sleep study and use a CPAP. then I find out Dr. Fowler wants me to bring my blood sugar down just 1 more point, okay fine. both of those were doable by Dec. 17th (my tentative surgery date). but I just saw Dr. Lovette on Monday, and my hopes and dreams have been dashed. At least for a few more months. She wants me to see a therapist here where I live. Apparently, she diagnosed me with depression, and I THINK she said suicidal tendacies(I say I wanna kill myself sometimes, cause I get really frustrated, but I never would. that's taking the cowards way out. it takes more strength to live then to die), and I have low self worth. my self image is shot to **** I have alot of issues. I think I was kinda freaking her out when I was telling her about the really bad physical abuse I suffered as a child. the no self esteem stuff became worse while married to my ex. So she suggested I see someone. Actually, I told her I wouldn't mind seeing someone and then after all my stories she said. I'm happy that you brought it up first. Sorry I am rambling. she told me I know you're probably angry, they all are when they find out they aren't cleared for surgery, then they thank me later.but trust me, you'll be better able to handle the surgery and what comes after, compared to how you are now. She says alot of times, patients become suicidal AFTER surgery, or because their mindset is not right, it sets them up to fail, and they either lose weight slowly, or not at all really, or they gain back all they lost, and more. I don't want that for myself. I WANT to succeed, and I AM...I just gotta take care of my mind first, before the body, so it can help me in the process. I told her I wasn't mad, just really disappointed, and now I was extremely depressed. I mean REALLY....I kept biting the inside of my lip to keep from crying. afterward, i just sat in my rental car for about 10 min. just spazzing thinking, okay, now what? but then i shook it off. so anyhoo, i'm supposed to find a doctor (which i did, i see her on monday) and see them for 6 mos of treatment. but my approval ends in 5. so now I'm looking at a mar/apr surgery date. I was so looking forward to meeting and possibly having the same surgery date as Hilogurl.....oh well....congrats to everybody on your guys good news...by the way, I'm so jealous!!!
but with love...sorry so long, i should've just blogged it, but i need some love people, and encouragement cause i'm still kinda down......aloha
~ JEN-O ~ HW 421/PRE-SW 406/SW 382/CW 270/ 1ST GOAL: LOSE 100 LBS-done/2ND GOAL 250/3RD GOAL 160
Topic: RE: Got my approval also!
Great news for both of you! Since I had to be a self-pay I didn't have to deal with insurance worries. I'm so glad both of you got a quick approval! Time to schedule all those tests!
Topic: RE: New Avatar
You look so beautiful and such a great smile. You can always tell when someone is truly happy -- you shine! Thanks for sharing!
Topic: RE: New Avatar
Thanks ladies I will try to keep my pictures updated. Have a great rest of the week.
Topic: RE: Got my approval also!
Nicole there is plenty of room on the losers bench!!! Move over everyone Nicole is coming. Congrats on the approval.
Aloha,
Asia
Aloha,
Asia
5'4": Surgery 240/Current 135/Goal 140 = 105 lbs lost!!! BMI 22.5 I'm Normal
6 Years Later highest 198 / Current 176 / Goal 140
Hit Goal on 5/14/09 8 months out!
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
Topic: RE: New Avatar
Now that is the Ginger that I know. What a beautiful picture.
Aloha,
Asia
Aloha,
Asia
5'4": Surgery 240/Current 135/Goal 140 = 105 lbs lost!!! BMI 22.5 I'm Normal
6 Years Later highest 198 / Current 176 / Goal 140
Hit Goal on 5/14/09 8 months out!
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
Topic: RE: New Avatar
Great photo and yes the weight loss is very noticable! Congratulations!
Aloha,
Nicole
Topic: Got my approval also!
I also got my HMSA approval today. A few more tests to go and then I'm on my way. I tell you, that was the longest 13 days of my life (waiting for the approval). I have been nervous the whole time, but then when I got the word that I was approved I felt this huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I am SUPER excited now.
Congrats to Hula Debbie also! Looks like we're still on the same schedule !
Aloha,
Nicole
Congrats to Hula Debbie also! Looks like we're still on the same schedule !
Aloha,
Nicole
Topic: RE: HMSA approved me today
Aloha Debbie! I am so happy for you! Maybe if you hustle you can get all your tests done and get scheduled before the new year?! I know once the wheels were in motion for me things went VERY quickly!
Best to you always!
((hugs))
Best to you always!
((hugs))
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